If I could just get a couple of general opinions - no real feedback is necessary, I'm just putting out some feelers here. Thanks!
The trip is long
But I have to endure
Driving by farms Why?
I’m not really sure
The heat is getting to me
Like a big char-broiled steak
As my hunger increases
My pain to others seem totally fake
We pass through the luscious meadows
That are all lively and green
I am in complete boredom
Next to the car I lean
We take a turn to the right
Hoping to get there fast
I listen to music
Remembering days of the past
The music quickens
As our speed increases
We travel farther
Breaking my spirit into pieces
But at the end of the line
There is someone like a dove
I can’t believe my mind
It’s the person I love
We share laughs
We share tears
I tell her all the things
That used to be my fears
But time is up
Now I must part
I begged them if I could stay
They never gave me a chance to start
Back to the open road
Going to where I belong
Yet I cant go back
I didn’t want to be there all along
As time disappears
So does the sun
Nighttime begins to appear
With this day I am done
Poem Exerpt
Poem Exerpt
I want to unfold. I don't want to be folded anywhere, because there, where I'm folded, I am a lie.
Rilke
Rilke
- Babslighthouse
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- Joined: September 8th, 2010, 10:33 am
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Re: Poem Exerpt
I am no poem expert but I enjoyed reading it. It makes you think and I liked some of the words you used.
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