Land of the Living - Excerpt 1 *TAKE TWO*

[atdeluca]

Let me know what you think, its a WIP
I suppose I have to say it's SciFi, but I'd like to think it has a strong commercial side. This is the very beginning of the book.



UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE: READ THE VERSION BELOW, IT HAS MUCH MUCH MORE
---

To me, death would be a welcome visitor.

Yet there I stood, everyone stood, waiting for someone that would never arrive.

My eyes focused, through the dust I could see the soldier offering his hand to me. The sun behind him sent beams of yellow dancing as we cried out through smoke and ash. Odd that the sun would shine on a day like that.

I grabbed the soldiers hand.

It seemed we were headed to an alley. Those in my group followed the other two soldiers who weren’t far behind me and my own. Somewhere, blocks away perhaps, another boom shook the ground and rained dust and rocks and blood upon our heads. Still we ran.

“Get up against the wall!” My soldier called to the group. He had short blond hair and was taller than the others. His eyes were young, and found myself wondering how old he was. He looked about eighteen, so a quick calculation suggested he was around thirty. But of course, none of that mattered any longer.

We got up against the wall. Nate could hardly breath. He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“Is everyone okay?” One of the camouflaged men spoke. He was the shortest of the group and the only one with a beret still atop his head.

Everyone was okay. Though it was noted that Henry, an old man, was tired and nearing his limits. Little could be done, and we had no chance but to push on until we found safety. Nate asked where we could go, his voice was small. I wondered if I had really lost him.

“There is a shelter not far from here, an old nuclear basement from the 1970’s.” The short soldier said. His uniform patch read “Hally”, though no one has said his first name yet.

“The 1970’s? Are you crazy? It’s been over sixty years, what makes you think it will still be there?” Nate looked defeated, though still defiant.

“Sir, we have this under control. The National Guard keeps track such things for your security and all other citizens. It is our duty to--”

“Enough Tim.” The tall one cut him off and Tim went silent. Everyone looked to the tall one. After a moment, he spoke again. “He’s right though, the shelter is still there. It’s one of a few that we keep track of in public buildings. Over on sixth and fifth.”

“That’s not too far.” Gabriella spoke for the first time since it began.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

He pushed off from the wall and began running. The block we were on was empty, save the eyes looking, always looking from windows. Souls bound to their homes, unable to break the grip of their boundaries. Seconds passed and we were all jogging behind our leaders, our footsteps hitting the rubble covered street in a surprising synchronization. We passed a shell of a building, once home to a restaurant I had frequented. The door was missing and windows lay in piles upon the sidewalk. I could not remember if I had been there the day or decade before. The past was lost.

When we came upon an intersection of our street and a wide Manhattan avenue, I looked to the north. Some hundreds of yards away I could see crowds surging towards midtown, rats running to the upper decks of a sinking society. The Empire State Building was a skeleton. A tear threatened it’s presence but the adrenaline kept it away, much to my relief. Now was not the time for emotion, if ever such a time would be again.

“banned word!?” The tall one called out. He was looking south around the corner, his finger delicate against the side of his rifle, twitching in anticipation towards its lethal lever.

“Northside clear!”

“Southside clear” the third soldier called. He had dark skin but striking green eyes.

“Go, go, go,” The tall one motioned with his hand for us to continue across the street, heading west. We followed, our steps no longer falling in time. Another distant concussion, a tribute to so many lives promised endless, finding meaning again. Nate and Gabriella both grabbed Henry under the arms and brought him along. He almost seemed sick, but we knew it was simply exhaustion, we all knew that to be sick was impossible. Then again, we would have said much about that day was impossible.

“How much farther?” Andrew spoke for the first time, addressing no soldier in particular. He had a cut above his left cheek that dripped blood, though only slowly. Soon it would heal over and he would feel fine.

“One more block after this,” banned word Hally seemed frightened, he turned to Nate and Gabriella, “Can you carry him that far?” He nodded his head toward Henry.

They could. We kept moving as a piercing whistle came from the sky.

Boom. More shattered.

I wondered where it all was coming from. In the chaos that was the past week it could be anyone, really. Korea and China seemed likely candidates, but no one was ruled out. Russia and the EU both weren’t happy with us. Though then again in recent years no one was happy with anything. We hadn’t been prepared and our greatest gift had destroyed us.

“Whoa!” One of the soldiers was yelling and pointing his gun. The other two followed suit. A group of three men approached us heading east on our road. Scotty gasped, he was still just a boy.

“Are you armed?!” The green eyed soldier roared to life.

“No, no! Not armed!” English was not their first language, but even such a barrier could not disguise the hatred in their eyes. The soldiers saw it too, and were wary.

“Keep your hands up and move forward slowly!” He said the word slowly quick and loud, like a backfiring engine. Several loud pops from blocks south of us signalled that the shooting had started. We desperately needed to find shelter. The men inched closer. Upon their faces was nothing but fear laced disgust.

When the first of the three strangers was within arms length of the tall soldier, he bent down and grabbed a piece of concrete, freshly torn from the ground not hours before. He was swift for a man, but not for the bullet that quickly found its mark just to the right of his nose, fired from the rifle of the green eyed soldier with a resounding crack. One of his companions moved as to jump on the soldier named Tim, but was quickly taken by the tall one. The shot ripped through the air. The third man, seeing the danger, simply ran with hopes to escape.

Stunned, I did not move out of the escaping man’s way in time, earning myself a hard shove which sent me flying backward. Unfortunately I did not see the pile of discarded bicycles behind me, and the ground quickly jumped from beneath me as my skull smacked against the asphalt island. Everything flashed to white.

[sldwyer]

Let me know what you think, its a WIP
I suppose I have to say it's SciFi, but I'd like to think it has a strong commercial side. This is the very beginning of the book.

---

To me, death would be a welcome visitor.

Yet there I stood, everyone stood, waiting for someone that would never arrive.

My eyes focused, might want to consider starting a new sentence after "focused. through the dust I could see the soldier offering his hand to me. The sun behind him sent beams of yellow dancing as we cried out through smoke and ash. Odd that the sun would shine on a day like that.

I grabbed the soldiers hand.

It seemed reads stronger is you start with "We" we wereheaded to an alley. Those inmy group followed the other two soldiers who weren’t far behind me and my own. Somewhere, blocks away perhaps, another boom shook the ground and dust,androcks, and blood rained upon our heads. Still we ran.

“Get up against the wall!” My soldier called to the group. He had short blond hair and was taller than the others. His eyes were young, and found myself wondering how old he was. He looked about eighteen, so a quick calculation suggested he was around thirty. But of course, none of that mattered any longer.

We [s]got up[/s]flattened ourselves against the wall. Nate could hardly breath. He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“Is everyone okay?” One of the camouflaged men spoke. He was the shortest of the group and the only one with a beret still atop his head.

Everyone was okay. Though it was noted that Henry, an old man, was tired and nearing his limits. Little could be done, and we had no chance but to push on until we found safety. Nate asked where we could go, his voice was small. I wondered if I had really lost him.

“There is a shelter not far from here, an old nuclear basement from the 1970’s.” The short soldier said. His uniform patch read “Hally”, though no one has said his first name yet.

“The 1970’s? Are you crazy? It’s been over sixty years, what makes you think it will still be there?” Nate looked defeated, though still defiant.

“Sir, we have this under control. The National Guard keeps track such things for your security and all other citizens. It is our duty to--”

“Enough Tim.” The tall one cut him off and Tim went silent. Everyone looked to the tall one. After a moment, he spoke again. “He’s right though, the shelter is still there. It’s one of a few that we keep track of in public buildings. Over on sixth and fifth.”

“That’s not too far.” Gabriella spoke for the first time since it what is "it"? not clear at this point. began.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

He pushed off from the wall and began running. The block we were on was empty, save the eyes looking, always looking from windows. Souls bound to their homes, unable to break the grip of their boundaries. Seconds passed and we were all jogging behind our leaders, is there more than one leader? our footsteps hitting the rubble covered street in a surprising synchronization. We passed a shell of a building, once home to a restaurant I had frequented. The door was missing and windows lay in piles upon the sidewalk. I could not remember if I had been there the day or decade before. The past was lost.

When we came upon an intersection of our street and a wide Manhattan avenue, I looked to the north. Some hundreds of yards away I could see crowds surging towards midtown, rats running to the upper decks of a sinking society. decks indicate a ship. Might consider changing society to ship. The Empire State Building was a skeleton. A tear threatened it’s presence but the adrenaline kept it away, much to my relief. Now was not the time for emotion, if ever such a time would be again.

“banned word!?” The tall one called out. He was looking south around the corner, his finger delicate against the side of his rifle, twitching in anticipation towards its lethal lever.

“Northside clear!”

“Southside clear” the third soldier called. He had dark skin but and striking green eyes.

“Go, go, go,” The tall one motioned with his hand for us to continue across the street, heading west. We followed, our steps no longer falling in time. Another distant concussion, a tribute to so many lives promised endless, finding meaning again.This sentence is confusing. Nate and Gabriella both grabbed Henry under the arms and brought him along. He almost seemed sick, but we knew it was simply exhaustion, we all knew that to be sick was impossible. Then again, we would have said much about that day was impossible.

“How much farther?” Andrew spoke for the first time, addressing no soldier in particular. He had a cut above his left cheek that dripped blood, though only slowly[/s]not necessary for effect. Soon it would heal over and he would feel fine.

“One more block after this,” banned word Hally seemed frightened, he turned to Nate and Gabriella, “Can you carry him that far?” He nodded his head toward Henry.

They could. We kept moving as a piercing whistle came from the sky.

Boom. More shattered.

I wondered where it all was coming from. In the chaos that was the past week it could be anyone, really. Korea and China seemed likely candidates, but no one was ruled out. Russia and the EU both weren’t happy with us. Though then again in recent years no one was happy with anything. We hadn’t been prepared and our greatest gift had destroyed us.

“Whoa!” One of the soldiers was yelling and pointing his gun. The other two followed suit. A group of three men approached us heading east on our road. Scotty gasped, he was still just a boy.

“Are you armed?!” The green eyed soldier roared to life.

“No, no! Not armed!” English was not their first language, but even such a barrier could not disguise the hatred in their eyes. The soldiers saw it too, and were wary.

“Keep your hands up and move forward slowly!” He said the word slowly quick and loud, like a backfiring engine. Several loud pops from blocks south of us signalled that the shooting had started. We desperately needed to find shelter. The men inched closer. Upon their faces was nothing but fear laced disgust.

When the first of the three strangers was within arms length of the tall soldier, he bent down and grabbed a piece of concrete, freshly torn from the ground not hours before. He was swift for a man, but not for the bullet that quickly found its mark just to the right of his nose, fired from the rifle of the green eyed soldier with a resounding crack. One of his companions moved as to jump on the soldier named Tim, but was quickly taken by the tall one. The shot ripped through the air. The third man, seeing the danger, simply ran with hopes to escape.

Stunned, I did not move out of the escaping man’s way in time, earning myself a hard shove which sent me flying backward. Unfortunately I did not see the pile of discarded bicycles behind me, and the ground quickly jumped from beneath me as my skull smacked against the asphalt island. Everything flashed to white.

Sounds like an interesting story. I assume the US has been attacked. I would like to have hear you main characters name of something that tells me whether is is male or female.

[atdeluca]

Thanks for the feedback! It's funny because many of the things you cut are actually essential but only if you know the whole story.

[ninafromnorway]

As I am neither published or can I write proper English, I thought I'd still give this a go! (In other words, you shouldn't really listen to what I say)

Let me know what you think, its a WIP
I suppose I have to say it's SciFi, but I'd like to think it has a strong commercial side. This is the very beginning of the book.

---

To me, death would be a welcome visitor.

Yet there I stood, everyone stood, waiting for someone that would never arrive.A little funny this, as in the next sentence you write that there is a soldier there that will lead you away.

My eyes focused, through the dust I could see the soldier offering his hand to me. The sun behind him sent beams of yellow dancing (there's something off about this sentence) as we cried out through smoke and ash. Odd that the sun would shine on a day like that.

I grabbed the soldiers hand.

It seemed we were headed to an alley. Those in my group followed the other two soldiers who weren’t far behind me and my own. Somewhere, blocks away perhaps, another boom shook the ground and rained dust and (I'd remove this and, and then add a comma instead) rocks and blood upon our heads (But I did like the sentence). Still we ran.

“Get up against the wall!” My soldier called to the group. He had short blonde hair and was taller than the others. His eyes were young, and I found myself wondering how old he was. He looked about eighteen, so a quick calculation suggested he was around thirty (How could he look like 18, but still be 12 years older? I would edit this to make it give some more sense). But of course, none of that mattered any longer.

We got up against the wall. Nate could hardly breathe, he wouldn’t look me in the eye (why not?) .

“Is everyone okay?” One of the camouflaged men spoke. He was the shortest of the group and the only one with a beret still atop his head.

Everyone was okay. Though it was noted that Henry, an old man, was tired and nearing his limits. Little could be done, and we had no chance (I wouldn't use this word. Maybe "can only" or "possibility" would suit better) but to push on until we found safety. Nate asked where we could go, his voice was small. I wondered if I had really lost him (lost who, and how can a voice be small? Did you mean weak, fragile or distant?).

“There is a shelter not far from here, an old nuclear basement from the 1970’s.” The short soldier said. His uniform patch read “Hally”, though no one has said his first name yet.

“The 1970’s? Are you crazy? It’s been over sixty years, what makes you think it will still be there?” Nate looked defeated, though still defiant.

“Sir, we have this under control. The National Guard keeps track such things for your security and all other citizens. It is our duty to--”

“Enough Tim.” The tall one cut him off and Tim went silent. Everyone looked to the tall one. After a moment, he spoke again. “He’s right though, the shelter is still there. It’s one of a few that we keep track of in public buildings. Over on sixth and fifth.”

“That’s not too far.” Gabriella spoke for the first time since it began.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

He pushed off from the wall and began running. The block we were on was empty, save the eyes looking, always looking from windows (I didn't understand this sentence). Souls bound to their homes, unable to break the grip of their boundaries. Seconds passed and we were all jogging behind our leaders, our footsteps hitting the rubble covered street in a surprising synchronization. We passed a shell of a building, once home to a restaurant I had frequented. The door was missing and windows lay in piles upon the sidewalk. I could not remember if I had been there the day or decade before. The past was lost.

When we came upon an intersection of our street and a wide Manhattan avenue, I looked to the north. Some hundreds of yards away I could see crowds surging towards midtown, rats running to the upper decks of a sinking society. The Empire State Building was a skeleton. A tear threatened it’s presence but the adrenaline kept it away, much to my relief. Now was not the time for emotion, if ever such a time would be again. (I liked the last two sentences here aswell)

“banned word!?” The tall one called out. He was looking south around the corner, his finger delicate against the side of his rifle, twitching in anticipation towards its lethal lever.

“Northside clear!”

“Southside clear” the third soldier called. He had dark skin but striking green eyes.

“Go, go, go,” The tall one motioned with his hand for us to continue across the street, heading west. We followed, our steps no longer falling in time. Another distant concussion, a tribute to so many lives promised endless, finding meaning again (I had to read this one a few times before I got it. Maybe you should think revising?). Nate and Gabriella both grabbed Henry under the arms and brought him along. He almost seemed sick, but we knew it was simply exhaustion, we all knew that to be sick was impossible. Then again, we would have said much about that day was impossible.

“How much farther?” Andrew spoke for the first time, addressing no soldier in particular. He had a cut above his left cheek that dripped blood, though only slowly. Soon it would heal over and he would feel fine.

“One more block after this,” banned word Hally seemed frightened, he turned to Nate and Gabriella, “Can you carry him that far?” He nodded his head toward Henry.

They could. We kept moving as a piercing whistle came from the sky.

Boom. More shattered.

I wondered where it all was coming from. In the chaos that was the past week it could be anyone, really. Korea and China seemed likely candidates, but no one was ruled out. Russia and the EU both weren’t happy with us. Though then again in recent years no one was happy with anything. We hadn’t been prepared and our greatest gift had destroyed us (what gift?).

“Whoa!” One of the soldiers was yelling and pointing his gun. The other two followed suit. A group of three men approached us heading east on our road. Scotty gasped, he was still just a boy.

“Are you armed?!” The green eyed soldier roared to life.

“No, no! Not armed!” English was not their first language, but even such a barrier could not disguise the hatred in their eyes. The soldiers saw it too, and were wary.

“Keep your hands up and move forward slowly!” He said the words slowly quick and loud, like a backfiring engine. Several loud pops from blocks south of us signalled that the shooting had started. We desperately needed to find shelter. The men inched closer, upon their faces was nothing but fear laced disgust.

When the first of the three strangers was within arms length of the tall soldier, he bent down and grabbed a piece of concrete, freshly torn from the ground (only) hours before. He was swift for a man, but not for the bullet that quickly found its mark just to the right of his nose, fired from the rifle of the green eyed soldier with a resounding crack. One of his companions moved as to jump on the soldier named Tim, but was quickly taken by the tall one. The shot ripped through the air. The third man, seeing the danger, simply ran with hopes to escape.

Stunned, I did not move out of the escaping man’s way in time, earning myself a hard shove which sent me flying backward. Unfortunately I did not see the pile of discarded bicycles behind me (This is a little odd. It is already given that you can't see something when you've been shoved backwards, so therefore you wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway), and the ground quickly jumped from beneath me as my skull smacked against the asphalt island. Everything flashed to white.

I remember your opening sentence from a week or two ago, and I'm glad to be able to read more. I like the story, but I have some trouble understanding what you are trying to say. Is this the opening of your book? If so it feels like I've been thrown in to something, which usually I like, but only when it's explained to me. The MC seems to know what's going on, but *he won't tell me what it is, and that annoys me. I'd want to read more about the situation.

[atdeluca]

All the things you are confused about, well most of them, are explained in the next sentence. When everything flashes to white is when the narrator gives us the background we need, ill edit it and give you more.

Also, just for everyone, I know I am breaking some grammar rules with the "and"s etc, it's part of the style I'm trying out. This narrator is telling the story from the future when she is hardened and broken, so its lots of simple sentences and nuances, not a traditional POV. Think Cormac McCarthy.

[atdeluca]

NEW VERSION (LONGER)

To me, death would be a welcome visitor.

Yet there I stood, everyone stood, waiting for someone that would never arrive.

My eyes focused, through the dust I could see the soldier offering his hand to me. The sun behind him sent beams of yellow dancing as we cried out through smoke and ash. Odd that the sun would shine on a day like that.

I grabbed the soldiers hand.

It seemed we were headed to an alley. Those in my group followed the other two soldiers who weren’t far behind me and my own. Somewhere, blocks away perhaps, another boom shook the ground and rained dust and rocks and blood upon our heads. Still we ran.

“Get up against the wall!” My soldier called to the group. He had short blond hair and was taller than the others. His eyes were young, and found myself wondering how old he was. He looked about eighteen, so a quick calculation suggested he was around thirty. But of course, none of that mattered any longer.

We got up against the wall. Nate could hardly breath. He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“Is everyone okay?” One of the camouflaged men spoke. He was the shortest of the group and the only one with a beret still atop his head.

Everyone was okay. Though it was noted that Henry, an old man, was tired and nearing his limits. Little could be done, and we had no chance but to push on until we found safety. Nate asked where we could go, his voice was small. I wondered if I had really lost him.

“There is a shelter not far from here, an old nuclear basement from the 1970’s.” The short soldier said. His uniform patch read “Hally”, though no one has said his first name yet.

“The 1970’s? Are you crazy? It’s been over sixty years, what makes you think it will still be there?” Nate looked defeated, though still defiant.

“Sir, we have this under control. The National Guard keeps track such things for your security and all other citizens. It is our duty to--”

“Enough Tim.” The tall one cut him off and Tim went silent. Everyone looked to the tall one. After a moment, he spoke again. “He’s right though, the shelter is still there. It’s one of a few that we keep track of in public buildings. Over on sixth and fifth.”

“That’s not too far.” Gabriella spoke for the first time since it began.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

He pushed off from the wall and began running. The block we were on was empty, save the eyes looking, always looking from windows. Souls bound to their homes, unable to break the grip of their boundaries. Seconds passed and we were all jogging behind our leaders, our footsteps hitting the rubble covered street in a surprising synchronization. We passed a shell of a building, once home to a restaurant I had frequented. The door was missing and windows lay in piles upon the sidewalk. I could not remember if I had been there the day or decade before. The past was lost.

When we came upon an intersection of our street and a wide Manhattan avenue, I looked to the north. Some hundreds of yards away I could see crowds surging towards midtown, rats running to the upper decks of a sinking society. The Empire State Building was a skeleton. A tear threatened it’s presence but the adrenaline kept it away, much to my relief. Now was not the time for emotion, if ever such a time would be again.

“banned word!?” The tall one called out. He was looking south around the corner, his finger delicate against the side of his rifle, twitching in anticipation towards its lethal lever.

“Northside clear!”

“Southside clear” the third soldier called. He had dark skin but striking green eyes.

“Go, go, go,” The tall one motioned with his hand for us to continue across the street, heading west. We followed, our steps no longer falling in time. Another distant concussion, a tribute to so many lives promised endless, finding meaning again. Nate and Gabriella both grabbed Henry under the arms and brought him along. He almost seemed sick, but we knew it was simply exhaustion, we all knew that to be sick was impossible. Then again, we would have said much about that day was impossible.

“How much farther?” Andrew spoke for the first time, addressing no soldier in particular. He had a cut above his left cheek that dripped blood, though only slowly. Soon it would heal over and he would feel fine.

“One more block after this,” banned word Hally seemed frightened, he turned to Nate and Gabriella, “Can you carry him that far?” He nodded his head toward Henry.

They could. We kept moving as a piercing whistle came from the sky.

Boom. More shattered.

I wondered where it all was coming from. In the chaos that was the past week it could be anyone, really. Korea and China seemed likely candidates, but no one was ruled out. Russia and the EU both weren’t happy with us. Though then again in recent years no one was happy with anything. We hadn’t been prepared and our greatest gift had destroyed us.

“Whoa!” One of the soldiers was yelling and pointing his gun. The other two followed suit. A group of three men approached us heading east on our road.

“Are you armed?!” The green eyed soldier roared to life.

“No, no! Not armed!” English was not their first language, but even such a barrier could not disguise the hatred in their eyes. The soldiers saw it too, and were wary.

“Keep your hands up and move forward slowly!” He said the word slowly quick and loud, like a backfiring engine. Several loud pops from blocks south of us signalled that the shooting had started. We desperately needed to find shelter. The men inched closer. Upon their faces was nothing but fear laced disgust.

When the first of the three strangers was within arms length of the tall soldier, he bent down and grabbed a piece of concrete, freshly torn from the ground not hours before. He was swift for a man, but not for the bullet that quickly found its mark just to the right of his nose, fired from the rifle of the green eyed soldier with a resounding crack. One of his companions moved as to jump on the soldier named Tim, but was quickly taken by the tall one. The shot ripped through the air. The third man, seeing the danger, simply ran with hopes to escape.

Stunned, I did not move out of the escaping man’s way in time, earning myself a hard shove which sent me flying backward. Unfortunately I could not see the pile of discarded bicycles behind me, and the ground quickly jumped from beneath me as my skull smacked against the asphalt island. Everything flashed to white.

[Blank Page]

People stopped dying ten years ago.

They didn’t know why or how, but on that infamous October 1st there wasn’t a single reported death. When they looked back the mortality rates had been dropping for months, but no one noticed until after.

I remember the elation. The tears from the wife whose terminally ill husband no longer faced death. The grandparents who no longer had to worry about missing their granddaughter’s wedding. The child’s realization that his Christmases would be endless, and that every winter was the promise of another summer to come. Even I relished in the fact that I was in my prime and would be forever.

We were idiots.

In those first few months, when it seemed more like fantasy than anything else, no one asked questions. No one asked what would happen to babies, when they would stop aging like the rest of us, if they would mature at all. No one wondered how fast the population would grow, or what we would do when it did. No one bothered to ponder where we would get enough food to feed a population that suddenly had no end in sight.

Eventually we started asking questions, sure, but not the important ones. No, instead we started asking how. Sure, vampire books were all the craze for a while, but we didn’t live in a world where fangs could turn off mortality’s clock. Scientists looked at everything, comparing new samples with old records, looking for a universal change. It didn’t take long, six weeks maybe, until they realized our DNA had changed. I don’t know the specifics, or if I did, I don’t remember. Cathy would know, hell, she’s the one who discovered it according to the media.

Some virus, some bug, some thing changed us, and there was nothing we could do about it. There was nothing we wanted to do about it. Eternal life. It seemed too good to be true. They called it The Miracle. Looking back, I call it a curse.

#

In the distance I could see a flickering light. Moving closer it turned into a pair of white bars that grew in luminosity.

A figure appeared before me, and as my mind gathered its bearings I saw that it was the tall soldier. Above him hummed a fluorescent light and in the corner I could hear the mumblings of my companions. I blinked a few times to clear my sight.

“How are you feeling?” His voice was gentle.

I told him I thought I would be okay.

“I’m Charlie.” His badge read “Schafer” upon his chest.

“Sophia,” I mumbled. My head felt empty. My eyes opened wide, attempting to adjust as he lifted me to a sitting position. The lights were entirely too bright.

“You had quite the fall,” he rested a hand on my back as support, “do you feel nauseous at all? I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a concussion.”

“No, just my head hurts.” It felt more like it was split it two.

“Well if you feel nauseous or dizzy at all let us know, we don’t have many supplies but we’ll do what we can for you.”

“Thanks,” I looked around, we were in a basement of some sort. Everyone was huddled into groups of two and three, the other two soldiers milling about and asking questions, or so it seemed. “Where’s Nate?” Society required that I request his presence. The tall one, Charlie, pointed to the back of my fiance’s head some feet away. I called out to him, my head hurting too much to walk over.

“You’re awake!” His smile was meager. He sat down next to me and put his cold hand on mine. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ll be fine.” I looked him in the eyes, searching hopelessly, “Where are we?” I settled on.

“In that shelter. It’s really just a basement with expired canned goods and a heavy door.”

“Is everyone okay?”

“Henry is tired, but he’ll be fine. Andrew and Kathleen are already talking, Gabriella is fine. The soldiers found a little boy in the street. He was just standing in the middle of an intersection, looking around, not even trying to run. It was strange,” He paused, “Oh, and we ran into Natalie Knight.” She had been my boss before it had started, before it ended. In any other time I would have found it shocking. Then, though, I just shrugged.

“Well it’s good that everyone is okay.”

“Yes, it’s good.” It was the last normal thing I would hear him say. I don’t know if it’s true, but looking back I think I knew when he spoke that it was the end.

In the back of the room, one of the lights popped and extinguished.

“How long are we going to stay here?” Gabriella wanted to know.

“Not long, this place can’t keep us going,” Tim, the short soldier, looked around as he spoke, “and this food is no good anymore, either. I don’t know.”

“We’re going to have to move, and probably soon. But it will be best if we at least give people a time to settle. It’s dangerous while everyone is scattering. We will be protected here in the shelter while we wait out the rest of the attacks.” Charlie was authoritative as he towered above everyone sitting around the cellar.

It was quiet for a while. I silently watched Nate as he contemplated the concrete floor. Andrew, across the room, rummaged through the canned goods. In the far corner the three soldiers whispered. The only light came from the two remaining fluorescent lamps buzzing with forgotten life overhead.

“Why are we being attacked?” A small voice from a small boy, he was sitting next to the doctor but addressed the entire room. Everyone looked, nothing but apology and shame came in response. “Oh.” he understood.

No one spoke after that, for a time.

[atdeluca]

Does it make more sense when you read more?