Excerpt: Equinox -- YA romance
Posted: August 22nd, 2010, 1:32 am
Hello! My query is here if you'd like to take a look. This is about the first two pages. Let me know what you think! Any and all suggestions are appreciated. Thanks in advance :)
We were well into the Snoqualmie National Forest, tucked into the North Cascades. The forest was damp and messy as we walked between thin, mossy tree trunks. The rain filtered down to the bottom of the thirsty woods. Fresh leaves crunched under our footsteps as we weaved through the trees along the Pilchuck River.
My foot caught on a tree branch underneath the decaying foliage. I reached out frantically for balance in the darkness.
My mom grabbed my arm. She steadied me with a fresh smile. “Watch your step, Kenzie.” I could tell she was gorgeous even in the dark. She moved her arm behind me, rubbing small circles into my back.
“Sorry, Sophia. I’m not as coordinated as you are by nature.”
I felt her pause. Sometimes she liked to forget that she was different from me, from normal people. She gave me a small pat on the back. Her sweet laughter echoed between the Evergreens.
She ignored the topic and moved on to what had been her main concern since I was eight. “When’re you going to start calling me mom, anyway? I’ve been good!”
“Try to stick around for half a year and maybe I’ll make an amendment.” I gave her a coy look and she humored me with a slightly petulant glance back.
My mother, who looked no older than twenty-three, wasn’t a mom in any capacity—besides the biological. I was sure a part of her wished I thought differently, but she couldn’t change my mind now that I was sixteen. Clearly, she should’ve stuck around a bit more when I was younger.
She was finally trying to make up for it, though. Her typical two-month cycle had turned into four months. This was the longest she had stayed with us, and it was a nice change. What I wasn’t so happy with was the fact that we moved all the way here a year ago and she was just now making it a priority to stay around. We didn’t move because we wanted to. We did it for her.
The fact that I had to change schools, lose all of my friends, and rebuild my entire social network because of her was not a nice change. My dad had to find another place to work. We had to find a house, a school—and we couldn’t just pick anywhere. We had to find a place that would suit her special needs.
We moved every few years and I was starting to get tired of it. Someday, she’d be moving without me.
We were well into the Snoqualmie National Forest, tucked into the North Cascades. The forest was damp and messy as we walked between thin, mossy tree trunks. The rain filtered down to the bottom of the thirsty woods. Fresh leaves crunched under our footsteps as we weaved through the trees along the Pilchuck River.
My foot caught on a tree branch underneath the decaying foliage. I reached out frantically for balance in the darkness.
My mom grabbed my arm. She steadied me with a fresh smile. “Watch your step, Kenzie.” I could tell she was gorgeous even in the dark. She moved her arm behind me, rubbing small circles into my back.
“Sorry, Sophia. I’m not as coordinated as you are by nature.”
I felt her pause. Sometimes she liked to forget that she was different from me, from normal people. She gave me a small pat on the back. Her sweet laughter echoed between the Evergreens.
She ignored the topic and moved on to what had been her main concern since I was eight. “When’re you going to start calling me mom, anyway? I’ve been good!”
“Try to stick around for half a year and maybe I’ll make an amendment.” I gave her a coy look and she humored me with a slightly petulant glance back.
My mother, who looked no older than twenty-three, wasn’t a mom in any capacity—besides the biological. I was sure a part of her wished I thought differently, but she couldn’t change my mind now that I was sixteen. Clearly, she should’ve stuck around a bit more when I was younger.
She was finally trying to make up for it, though. Her typical two-month cycle had turned into four months. This was the longest she had stayed with us, and it was a nice change. What I wasn’t so happy with was the fact that we moved all the way here a year ago and she was just now making it a priority to stay around. We didn’t move because we wanted to. We did it for her.
The fact that I had to change schools, lose all of my friends, and rebuild my entire social network because of her was not a nice change. My dad had to find another place to work. We had to find a house, a school—and we couldn’t just pick anywhere. We had to find a place that would suit her special needs.
We moved every few years and I was starting to get tired of it. Someday, she’d be moving without me.