BLESSINGS - YA Fiction

Ugh. You got stuck writing a synopsis. Help is on the way.
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midenianscholar
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BLESSINGS - YA Fiction

Post by midenianscholar » September 18th, 2012, 10:43 am

First attempt at a one page synopsis for this work. Please tear it up! :)

BLESSINGS

In a kingdom where faeries bless humans with supernatural abilities, Melle is a girl with no blessings and Velimir is a prince with too many. Velimir is blessed by the faerie king, a being who contains the center of all magic. Velimir can take life—adding to his own years—or give healing—at the cost of his own life. Melle is one of the few unblessed, and is socially despised for her difference. They must work together to save their kingdom. But in two worlds where reality and identity are often in question, their quest won’t be easy.

Melle comes to Velimir to beg for a healing. Her pleas touch the heart of a faerie, and when Velimir refuses his help the faerie curses him and his family. He will lose everyone dear to him if he does not find a way to break the curse. After heeding Melle’s request and healing for the first time, Velimir finds that the curse is still killing the king. It seems the only way to undo the curse is to travel the center of the faerie realm to request an audience with the faerie king and queen. But with so many blessings, which cloud Velimir’s perceptions of reality, it is too dangerous for him to travel alone. Humans are easily trapped in the faerie realm—and those who try to return often turn to ash. He needs someone untouched by magic to help him through the perils of the realm.

Melle is persuaded to join Velimir on his journey. What they don’t know is that Morvana, a winter faerie, has been orchestrating just such an opportunity to take the human kingdom and kill the faerie king. While Melle and Velimir are traveling through the faerie realm dodging enchantments, angry nymphs and mysterious beasts, Morvana is increasing her power over the younger prince, Luc. It’s only when Melle and Velimir reach the faerie court that they find out the curse has run its course. Luc is the only royal left alive—and he himself is in danger.

On the last leg of their journey, Melle and Velimir are captured by a winter faerie lord. He plans to trap Melle with him eternally and to kill Velimir. Melle must use her wit to keep herself and Velimir from being enchanted. Velimir must embrace his blessings to overcome the lord. Together they escape.
They arrive in the human capital just in time to see Luc kill the faerie king. Morvana takes the source of magic, becoming the most powerful being in both realms. Melle is the only one present with no blessings and able to withstand Morvana’s magic. Finally discovering that being unblessed is a power of its own, Melle must face down Morvana by herself.

When Melle overcomes Morvana and releases the magic into the world, both the human and faerie realms are united. There is no longer a differentiation between blessed and unblessed.

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LurkingVirologist
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Re: BLESSINGS - YA Fiction

Post by LurkingVirologist » September 23rd, 2012, 2:34 am

This feels much more like a query letter with an ending appended to it then a synopsis. For example, this entire line is superfluous jacket-cover, and doesn't actually explain anything about the plot:

"They must work together to save their kingdom. But in two worlds where reality and identity are often in question, their quest won’t be easy. "

With the obvious caveat that I'm not an agent, my sense is that a synopsis should be mostly plot and not hook. Form has to follow function. It's good to get some voice in there, but only after all the important stuff is done. As it was explained to me, by the time the agent gets to your synopsis they've already read your query, and probably some pages, so they have a sense of your voice and writing style, but need to know that you can structure a novel (and come up with a satisfying ending).

You've got some of the plot in there, but it's worded rather vaguely. The main conflict is spelled out, but the agent should already know that from your query letter, so maybe focus on some more details about where they go, and what they have to face.

I'm also confused as to the various factions/worlds. There is a separate faerie realm, and a human realm, and separate human and faerie courts/kingdoms? Luc is...?
"Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic." -Carl Sagan

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