Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)

Ugh. You got stuck writing a synopsis. Help is on the way.
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arvales12
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Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)

Post by arvales12 » July 5th, 2012, 12:37 pm

Yeah, I was planning on doing a 2 paragraphed synopses but ended up doing an 8 paged one. Is is a Fantasy Adventure Novel(If you call that a category, if not, correct me please :lol: ) which has a 105k word count.

Enjoy :D

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Set in the magical world of Unibeltrasia, a continent divided into two parts, the Lower West where the eight kingdoms is settled and the Upper East where the enemy of the entire kingdoms lay dormant, the Axis Kingdom. The story begins when the dormant Axis Kingdom suddenly launched a large surprise attack to the capital of the strongest kingdom ever, the Tamaraw race of the Empire of the Far East.

Led by Prince Tamiron Lluch, the Imperial Army was in the brink of victory when suddenly, the Prince himself suddenly attacked his own army, leaving the battlefield with the enemy and decimating the entire Imperial Forces. The Imperial King, King Madarick Lluch IV heard of the news and was stricken leaving him unable to rule. His right hand, and Adviser to the Imperial Monarch, Arch Bishop Menoich Anarchu, takes control of the empire as Prime Minister and immediately dispatched a team of diplomats to assemble seven warriors that is tasked to take the renegade prince out.

The first to answer was the Empire’s closest ally, the Maroon Order, a kingdom of Wizards and spellcasters. Sending their princess, Princess Evangeline Ressei who has trouble using her own powers, but when a group of Axian Assassins infiltrated the capital city of the Order, Sanctum, they killed Evangeline’s parents, thus giving her pain and sorrow that made her unlock her powers and annihilating the intruders with a huge explosion but, without hurting her allies, including the diplomat. After that, she was rendered unconscious and the diplomat with the princess proceeds to the meeting place set up by the Imperial Monarch.

The second to answer is another of the Empire’s ally, The Falcon Race of the Mystic Realm of Adamson. Another diplomat, arriving at high branches of the Great Tree lying on top of a mountain where the city itself is, the City of Juno. The diplomat was surprised to have found out that the Adamson King is dead for a two years now and was furious for not letting them know, threatening an incursion and taking back territories that was given to them, but the new Adamson King, King Ravaen Adamson, who preferred to be acknowledge as prince agreed to join the seven-man team the Empire proposed in exchange for peace. He then sets out quickly to the meeting place. The same diplomat then proceeds to the Thunderous Realm of the Kra’en. That time Evangeline was on her way after a stop in a town near the meeting place and in a distance, she saw a castle unlike any other and already concluded that that is the meeting place.

The third to answer was the Elven Kingdoms of the Crimson Elves and the Virscent Elves. Both didn’t like each other for a very long time and only the efforts of the Imperial Tamaraw only made it possible for them to talk and be at one place at the same time. The Crimson Elves then called that their representative, General Sevidon Blazeshadow and thus the Virscent Elves called on to their own, Colonel and Prince Glaivel Numenesse. When both of them came face to face of each other, it was very intense that both showed great skill, eventually, both races agreed to go thus a celebration went throughout the night. Sevidon that night reminisced on his past when Glaivel showed up, both had a talk then Sevidon left early. That night too, both of them left and proceeds to the meeting place.

Back in the Empire, the newly appointed Prime Minister talks to a smoke that came out of his orb and was definitely up to no good uttering the phrase that everything is going accordingly, but when the smoke mentioned something that it needed, unable to answer it was angered and Menoich swears that he will find it as fast as possible.

The fourth to answer was the metal rich realm of the Kra’en race, the Thunderous Realm of the Kra’en. The same diplomat that came from the Mystic Realm, while on his way to Mithril; the capital of the Kra’ens, saw something peculiar in the woods below and stopped to take a look. Astonished for what he saw he heads directly to the city only to find out that he can’t go directly due to the weather’s harsh behavior. When the weather finally cleared up, he heads straight to the capital and talks about the who he wants to go, the King who was recommending his daughter to go, was furious and refused to send what the diplomat wants, the diplomat then proposed a solution that pleased the king and eventually agreed. The diplomat then requested an audience with the force he saw a day ago and it turns out that it was a prisoner, he was warned but still, he continued. He finally met the force he was so astonished off, Blacksmith Graveloth Demio who was false convicted and demanded his freedom, the diplomat then agreed to this with one catch, to join the team the Empire is gathering. When the much awaited fight occurred, the crowd along with the king was stunned to see what Graveloth is capable of and has no choice but to agree with his terms with the imperial diplomat, and Graveloth was chosen to go to the meeting place.

That time, Tamiron was on his way to the southern territories of the empire using a passage that only a few generals knows of, but he was halted to have noticed a force field blocking their way and summoned his devastating skill. He attempted to destroy the force field but to no avail because he is only killing his own men by the rocks that are falling off the cliffs. He then withdrew his forces and heads back to the eastern regions. The generals then discussed and one of them mentioned the familiarity of the armor the fallen prince is wearing.

The fifth to answer was the Tiger Race of the Middle Kingdom of the Tigers. With the diplomat entering the magnificent burrow city of the tigers, Tigeria. He then proceeds to the middle of the city to meet up with the Queen who was expecting his arrival. The Queen eventually agreed and chose to send her daughter, Princess Kaira Nightshroud. When the Queen visited the princess who was in the middle of training her troops, she told about what she agreed on and what is at stake to her daughter and eventually the princess understands, and grabs a few of her things then sets out to the meeting place. That time, Graveloth was all set up and proceeds to the meeting place, at Eldemensters Castle. That time also Sevidon and Glaivel was on their way and can already see the castle from afar. Evangeline and Ravaen arrived at the castle at the same time but resulted to a very painful meeting when Evangeline mistakenly identied Ravaen as an enemy.

The sixth and the final one to answer, is the Eagle Race of the High Kingdom of the Azure Eagles, the only kingdom that can rival the strength of the Tamaraw other than the Axis. Three diplomats were sent to the kingdom for they know that it is impossible to persuade the Eagles to join for they have a cold shoulder against the Tamaraws. The diplomats despite explaining their situation, still received the awful rejection of the King and was dismissed immediately. His son, Prince Aderon Azure then tells of a plan that pleased the king his father, and that is to kill Tamiron himself thus, restoring their rightful place in the eight kingdoms. His father then reconsidered his answer and blessed his own mission and Aderon then proceeds to the meeting place. At that time, Glaivel and Sevidon arrived with caution when they were suddenly ambushed by Ravaen and Evangeline who mistakened them for enemies. Evangeline knocking out Glaivel, and Ravaen who was about to strike a blow recognized Sevidon and immediately halted their attacks.

Tamiron who was now backed in the eastern regions lays siege to the gate city of Melgrace thus destroying it completely and annihilating its entire populace except for one boy and a the scout who found out about Tamiron’s approach. They now hasten up their way towards the City of Tamara who was days away from the ruined city, to warn of Tamiron’s closing presence to the capital. Tamiron the next day then rounded up some who survived their attack and was especially attracted to a girl, whom he freed up her hands but was slapped at the face with it. After that he returns back to the Governor’s Palace and ordered the execution of the survivors were the Axian Soldiers were pleased.
At Eldemensters Castle, Ravaen was about to snag up a meet for them when an unknown figure caught it first thus leaving him to crash to the trees. Evangeline who was about to enter the castle sensed something speeding up towards them and when it was near enough, she knocked it out revealing that it was Kaira holding a boar. Evangeline was sorry and attempted to heal her quickly but to no avail and Kaira fainted. That night, Sevidon saw Ravaen and bringed him up to the roof, revealing something about Evangeline and the Maroon Order. When Ravaen asked about it to Evangeline, she left and remembers something that her father told her.

Graveloth arrives in the borders of the Empire and entered the forest near the Eldemensters Castle when he came across with an enormous boar and fought with his life at steak eventually killing the boar and Sevidon, sensing his presence. Sevidon eventually followed the scent when he stumbled upon a tree with golden leaves and found a glowing mark. After looking at it carefully he grabbed a rock and copied the mark then left. He then finds Graveloth who was pulling an enormous dead boar and helped him to bring it back to the castle and eventually the two introduced each other. Glaivel who was sitting atop the castle, then saw a twinkle in the sky and was dubious on what it is for it is not a star.

The scout from the city of Melgrace then arrived at the city with great exhaustion but was summoned immediately by the head scout when he revealed what happened by showing them his Observer Owl. After the head scout was baffled and frightened they quickly heads to the Imperial Palace. That time, the Princess of the Empire, Princess Tamara Lluch has arrived at the outskirts not far from Tamara and saw the immediate change that occurred on her absence.

The Princess then arrived in the city and heads straight to the Imperial Palace. That time, the council and Menoich was having a meeting when Tamara entered the room and quickly regain control of everything. Menoich was tripped of his authority when Tamara assumed control and when she heard about the team Menoich is assembling; she was furious on what it was for and questioned the council itself when they were interrupted by the head scout along with the scout whose name is Alias. Alias showed them what he showed to the head scout and everyone was stunned to what they saw. That night, the ill king who was in his bed chamber was killed by a an unknown fellow along with two others leaving a dagger in his chest.

Tamara then demanded the restoration of the city when suddenly they were disturbed by a guard telling that the king was killed. Tamara, shocked ran to the bed chamber and so as the other guards leaving the council in the throne room. Menoich then took the opportunity and accused the princess of killing the king because of the dagger that was on the king’s chest was hers. She was then detained and Menoich, with no royal heirs left, takes control of the empire by declaring himself as emperor, the council then agreed by unanimous decision.

Back in the Eldemensters Castle, Aderon finally arrived as the others watched his descent when suddenly; they were all taken to a place not of their world but in the realm of Mirror. Their they were blessed by a the messenger of the Gods and Animos, Lyo giving them extraordinary abilities to match those of Tamiron. They are also told by Lyo not to kill the Prince for doing so will result to unimaginable consequences. Aderon’s secret mission was in jeopardy when Lyo speaked to him through his mind and told of him about his mother. They were then returned to a place near the border of the Capital Region and western region. That time, Menoich finally found what he was looking for when three unknown assassins broke in and took it away, leaving him to search for it once more.

They were on their way to where Tamiron is when the group decided to follow the guidance of Lyo, they also are very suspicious about Menoich now that they now he is now the emperor of the empire and imprisoning the princess for killing the king. When they arrived at the ruined city, they fought a very hard fight with Tamiron but eventually succeeding the battle because Aderon layed the final blow to Tamiron and destroying his armor. Tamiron then woke up to a bad news when he learned that his father is dead and his sister falsely blamed for it, he was furious but eventually calms down and thus revealing that he was not in control of his body and was in fact another thing inside him. He also revealed that during the attack of the Axis, he was hit by a strange red light when everything went blank. He also told them that Menoich convince his father to wear the armor he worn. The others believe him and plots on how to get him back when Glaivel gets back with Tamiron’s armor and the stone that was taken from the palace. They asked where he found it and only told them to ask Tamiron about his friends; Tamiron however, remained silent when suddenly Evangeline taught up of an idea.

When the group returned to the city of Tamara, they immediately head to the Imperial Palace. When they arrived Menoich asked his right hand man to check for a pulse in Tamiron when they are surprised to see what Tamiron was wearing, unable to react they still went on and found that there was no pulse. When Menoich took a closer look he was shocked when the doors of the palace breaks open with Kaira along with the princess and other guards that were loyal to them quickly attacked and was further shocked to find that Tamiron was alive and breathing and eventually ran back to the palace. They were surrounded when Tamiron reminded the guards who he is, eventually the guards eased up. Tamiron was blocked by Menoich’s right hand man but eventually disabled him and proceeds to follow Menoich, the others quickly followed him. Tamiron got Menoich in the Throne room crawling and begging for his life and revealed that he planned everything at the presence of the council and the others. When Tamiron was about to lay a killing punch he was thrown far away from Menoich and Menoich was floating in the air and was turned into ashes by an orb with black smoke that eventually dropped to the floor, shattering into a million pieces.

The council then proclaimed him as the new King but eventually declined and bestowing the power to his sister as the new Queen of the Empire. Tamara accepted thus restoring everything to the way it was.

Before the seven warriors left, Tamiron formed the Unibeltrasian Army and revealing that their fight is still not done for their enemy is not what they used to. Back in the aftermath of the battle in the ruined city, an unknown figure that was hovering was retrieving and assembling back destroyed armor and stone that Tamiron once worn.

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So yeah, can you please give me feed back about it because it is a done novel and all I have to do is edit it again and make a query letter and this.

P.S.
Id you can help me trim it down, then THANK YOU ALOT :D

arvales12
Posts: 21
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Re: Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)

Post by arvales12 » July 9th, 2012, 3:03 am

Now now, I know the other on is kinda long and I got carried away. I have a shorter one, about 3 paragraphs. Please I need your input in this guys. Thanks!

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When Prince Tamiron Lluch of the Empire of the Far East rebel against his own, the peace and stability of the region is put in jeopardy, for the fall of empire means the utter destruction of the seven remaining empires within its dominion. King Madarick Lluch IV, father of renegade prince, fallen ill upon hearing the news and is unable to rule. His adviser, Arch Bishop Menoich Anarchu assumed authority and placed himself as Prime Minister and as his first act, he dispatched diplomats to the inner kingdoms to tell of the news of what has happened and to bring the remaining kingdoms together to stop the impending threat of the Renegade Prince Tamiron Lluch.

Princess Evangeline, King Ravaen, General Sevidon, Colonel & Prince Glaivel, Graveloth, Princess Kaira and Prince Aderon has been called out to hunt down and put a stop to the already rampaging prince who destroyed the Gate City of Melgrace, and destabilize the entire empire. Princess of the Empire, Princess Tamara Lluch, twin sister of Tamiron, finally returned from her studies in the southern regions of the Far East and assumed command of the empire, but her short reign ended because she has been blamed of killing King Madarick Lluch IV, her father. Prime Minister Menoich then assumed total control with the approval of the council and declared himself Emperor. During the seven's journey, the group has found out about the news and was not convinced. They then began to question more and more Prime Minister turned Emperor of his motives.

When all of them are in one place, they have been called into another realm, The Mirror Realm and the messenger of the Gods and Animos, Lyo gave them gifts to even the odds for Lyo told them that Prince Tamiron is not a mortal anymore. and she told of them "Not to kill the Prince". Aderon was furious about this but Lyo silenced him. Upon their return, Aderon's motive is beginning to show up, his comrades warned him not to do anything about his motive and they began to distrust him. Now the fate of the peaceful realms hangs in the balance for they have to stop Prince Tamiron at all costs.

Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince is a 105K word count Fantasy Novel.

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Please I need your input guys, hope someone would say something about it. Thanks!

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LurkingVirologist
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Re: Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)

Post by LurkingVirologist » July 10th, 2012, 1:30 am

I marked things in red that could be taken out, and put things [in brackets] to maybe add. I'd also suggest making everything present tense so it sounds like you're narrating events as they are happening, rather then recounting them after the fact. Sounds like you've come up with a pretty intricate plot!
arvales12 wrote:Now now, I know the other on is kinda long and I got carried away. I have a shorter one, about 3 paragraphs. Please I need your input in this guys. Thanks!

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When Prince Tamiron Lluch of the Empire of the Far East rebel against his own, the peace and stability of the region is put in jeopardy [threatened?], for the fall of empire means the utter destruction of the seven remaining empires within its dominion. King Madarick Lluch IV, father of renegade prince, fallen[falls] ill upon hearing the news and is unable to rule. His adviser, Arch Bishop Menoich Anarchu assumed authority and placed himself [,] as Prime Minister[,] and as his first act, he dispatched diplomats to the inner kingdoms to tell of the news of what has happened and to bring the remaining kingdoms together to stop the impending threat of the Renegade Prince Tamiron Lluch.

Princess Evangeline, King Ravaen, General Sevidon, Colonel & Prince Glaivel, Graveloth, Princess Kaira and Prince Aderon has been called out to hunt down and put a stop to the already rampaging prince[,] who [has already] destroyed the Gate City of Melgrace, and destabilize the entire empire. Princess of the Empire, Princess Tamara Lluch, twin sister of Tamiron, finally returned from her studies in the southern regions of the Far East and assumed command of the empire, but her short reign ended because she has been blamed of killing King Madarick Lluch IV, her father. Prime Minister Menoich then assumed total control with the approval of the council and declared himself Emperor. During the seven's journey, the group has found out about the news and was not convinced. They then began to question more and more Prime Minister turned Emperor of his motives.

When all of them are in one place, they have been called into another realm, The Mirror Realm and the messenger of the Gods and Animos, Lyo gave them gifts to even the odds for Lyo told them that Prince Tamiron is not a mortal anymore. and she told of them "Not to kill the Prince". Aderon was furious about this but Lyo silenced him. Upon their return, Aderon's motive is beginning to show up, his comrades warned him not to do anything about his motive and they began to distrust him. Now the fate of the peaceful realms hangs in the balance for they have to stop Prince Tamiron at all costs.

Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince is a 105K word count Fantasy Novel.

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Please I need your input guys, hope someone would say something about it. Thanks!
"Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic." -Carl Sagan

arvales12
Posts: 21
Joined: June 8th, 2012, 1:07 pm
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Re: Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)

Post by arvales12 » July 10th, 2012, 12:38 pm

LurkingVirologist wrote:I marked things in red that could be taken out, and put things [in brackets] to maybe add. I'd also suggest making everything present tense so it sounds like you're narrating events as they are happening, rather then recounting them after the fact. Sounds like you've come up with a pretty intricate plot!
Hi there! Sorry I got an updated synopses plot. Here it goes and I like to get your input in it...

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Prince Tamiron Lluch betrays the Empire of the Far East, and takes command of the attacking force of their long time and dormant enemy; The Axis. The peace and stability of the region is put into jeopardy, for the fall of the empire means the utter destruction of the seven remaining kingdoms within its dominion for they are the only ones who can withstand the Axis' power. King Madarick Lluch IV, falls ill upon hearing the news and is stricken down bringing his life to the edge. When there is no royal monarch left to assume command, Arch Bishop Menoich Anarchu takes authority and places himself as Prime Minister and he quickly sends out the news of Tamiron's betrayal to the inner kingdoms and he calls to bring the best warriors of the remaining realms together to stop the impending threat of the Renegade Prince Tamiron Lluch.

Evangeline, Ravaen, Sevidon, Glaivel, Graveloth, Kaira and Aderon has been called out to hunt down the already rampaging prince who is ravaging the eastern regions. Princess Tamara Lluch, twin sister of Tamiron, returns quickly and assumes command of the empire, but her reign was cut short for she has been wrongly blamed for killing her father, King Madarick. Prime Minister Menoich then takes opportunity as he assumes total control and declares himself as Emperor. During the seven's journey, the group has found out about the news and was dumbfounded, but they were not convinced. Slowly, they then began to suspect of the Emperor's true motives.

Whit all the Seven in one place, they were called to a realm not of their own, the Mirror Realm. The Messenger of the Gods and Animos confronted them and gave them sacred gifts to withstand the power Prince Tamiron now possess and she bares another message that Tamiron must not die. Upon their return, Aderon's motive is beginning to show up,and his comrades began to suspect him. Now the fate of the peaceful realms hangs in the balance for they have to stop Prince Tamiron at all costs without ending his life, and if they fail, it would mean the demise of the eight kingdoms.

UNIBELTRASIA: THE FALLEN PRINCE is a 105K word count Fantasy Novel that will take you into a journey of self-discovery, uncovering secrets, discovering hidden prophecies that will determine the fate of their world.

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