SYNOPSIS: Prince of Trouble - alt history/sci fi
Posted: July 13th, 2011, 10:12 am
I received an interesting rejection from an agent last night. He praised my alternate history setting and my alien world, but he felt there wasn't enough plot twists to keep things interesting. I was pleased in many regards to get the feedback, but my synopsis may have cut my legs out from under me, so to speak. I recently updated the synopsis but I would really like some other eyes on it
SIDNEY DEXTER is a hard-working, quick-witted private detective in 1949 New Futura, a wondrous city of tomorrow with the former New York World’s Fair at its center. All Dexter has to do is babysit an important alien for a weekend of sightseeing and musical theater.
UMFRA is a prince on his world, a rare male drone from a society of insect-like workers who live on distant Stygiex. Since the Stygiexians provide much of the galaxy’s labor for planet-spanning projects, Dexter can’t screw this important bugsitting job up. But after an encounter in a jazz club with a thug playing a machine-gun instead of a trumpet, it becomes clear that someone wants the prince dead.
Seeking help from a former flame, skytaxi pilot MIRANDA BARON, Dexter must keep Umfra one step away from the MAJESTRIX, a merciless queen-in-waiting. If the majestrix kills Umfra, the Stygiexian queen will be unable to reproduce and will die. The majestrix will succeed her. To prevent this, Umfra must return to Stygiex.
Dexter, Umfra and Miranda are chased across New Futura City by MARKO MURGOVSKY, a local Slovakian mobster. Every goon, thug and robot is out to collect a reward for Umfra’s head. Even the majestrix’s soldiers lurk everywhere. Dexter convinces Miranda to fly Umfra to Thunder Island, an abandoned rocket testing base off the coast of Long Island, for safety. Dexter makes a shady deal with DANE KATO, testy crime boss and owner of the rocket port, to get Umfra a seat on a flight home. All Dexter has to do is ruin Marko Murgovsky’s attempt to fix the outcome of a mechanical horse race.
Having lost thousands, an irate Murgovsky chases Dexter to Thunder Island to collect his head and Umfra’s. Miranda challenges the mobster and his spoiled playboy son, HUGO, to a dangerous air race and wins their freedom. Dexter, Miranda and Umfra rush to the rocket port to get Umfra on board, but the majestrix and her soldiers are waiting. After a pursuit through the rocket port’s automated baggage system, Umfra misses the flight. Miranda takes them to “ACE” DIRK DRUMMOND, a washed-up space hero, to fly them to Stygiex.
In the hive city, Umfra, Dexter and Miranda valiantly fight off the majestrix and her soldiers to reach the queen. Dexter destroys a bridge between himself and the majestrix. She tries to leap the distance to kill Dexter, but falls short and plummets to her death. Umfra is united with his queen.
Dexter hopes to see Umfra again, but sadly learns that all drones die after mating with the queen. It is a part of Stygiexian life that Umfra embraced as his destiny. The Stygiexian queen was impressed with Umfra’s dance, a ritual that describes the drone’s life and experiences on Earth. The queen recognizes Dexter’s heroism and announces that her brood, numbering in the tens of thousands, will carry Dexter’s name. Word spreads of a new friendship between Stygiex and Earth.
Thanks for looking. Super appreciated!!
Tony
SIDNEY DEXTER is a hard-working, quick-witted private detective in 1949 New Futura, a wondrous city of tomorrow with the former New York World’s Fair at its center. All Dexter has to do is babysit an important alien for a weekend of sightseeing and musical theater.
UMFRA is a prince on his world, a rare male drone from a society of insect-like workers who live on distant Stygiex. Since the Stygiexians provide much of the galaxy’s labor for planet-spanning projects, Dexter can’t screw this important bugsitting job up. But after an encounter in a jazz club with a thug playing a machine-gun instead of a trumpet, it becomes clear that someone wants the prince dead.
Seeking help from a former flame, skytaxi pilot MIRANDA BARON, Dexter must keep Umfra one step away from the MAJESTRIX, a merciless queen-in-waiting. If the majestrix kills Umfra, the Stygiexian queen will be unable to reproduce and will die. The majestrix will succeed her. To prevent this, Umfra must return to Stygiex.
Dexter, Umfra and Miranda are chased across New Futura City by MARKO MURGOVSKY, a local Slovakian mobster. Every goon, thug and robot is out to collect a reward for Umfra’s head. Even the majestrix’s soldiers lurk everywhere. Dexter convinces Miranda to fly Umfra to Thunder Island, an abandoned rocket testing base off the coast of Long Island, for safety. Dexter makes a shady deal with DANE KATO, testy crime boss and owner of the rocket port, to get Umfra a seat on a flight home. All Dexter has to do is ruin Marko Murgovsky’s attempt to fix the outcome of a mechanical horse race.
Having lost thousands, an irate Murgovsky chases Dexter to Thunder Island to collect his head and Umfra’s. Miranda challenges the mobster and his spoiled playboy son, HUGO, to a dangerous air race and wins their freedom. Dexter, Miranda and Umfra rush to the rocket port to get Umfra on board, but the majestrix and her soldiers are waiting. After a pursuit through the rocket port’s automated baggage system, Umfra misses the flight. Miranda takes them to “ACE” DIRK DRUMMOND, a washed-up space hero, to fly them to Stygiex.
In the hive city, Umfra, Dexter and Miranda valiantly fight off the majestrix and her soldiers to reach the queen. Dexter destroys a bridge between himself and the majestrix. She tries to leap the distance to kill Dexter, but falls short and plummets to her death. Umfra is united with his queen.
Dexter hopes to see Umfra again, but sadly learns that all drones die after mating with the queen. It is a part of Stygiexian life that Umfra embraced as his destiny. The Stygiexian queen was impressed with Umfra’s dance, a ritual that describes the drone’s life and experiences on Earth. The queen recognizes Dexter’s heroism and announces that her brood, numbering in the tens of thousands, will carry Dexter’s name. Word spreads of a new friendship between Stygiex and Earth.
Thanks for looking. Super appreciated!!
Tony