YA Science Fiction Query

Share your blood sweat tears query for feedback and lend your hard-won expertise to others
Post Reply
Literary Flamingo
Posts: 10
Joined: September 5th, 2013, 4:38 pm
Contact:

YA Science Fiction Query

Post by Literary Flamingo » September 5th, 2013, 5:37 pm

This is my query for SPACELANCER, my first novel. I've revised it and spruced up the first few pages and I'm hoping to have more success with my next batch of queries. Any feedback would be appreciated. I can take criticism. (Also, this is just the template. I plug in the agent's name and slip in some personalized stuff somewhere before I send it out.)

Dear Agent,

Hal Walter is a young starfighter and one of the last men standing between humanity and a horde of aliens seeking to complete their genocide.

Along with his loyal friends, Hal is part of an elite group of young starfighters that protect the GPFCS, a lonely space station that orbits the remains of Earth. He has been born and raised to fight the Reds – the aliens that conquered Earth. However, Hal begins to question Chairman Malthus, the station’s bloodthirsty leader. He secretly wishes that the fighting would stop. His inner conflict explodes when a strange entity suddenly appears with a fleet of starships and a grudge against Malthus.

The entity is known as Icarus. He may be human or something else entirely. Somehow, he knows intimate details about Hal and his friends. Forced to fight the Reds and Icarus simultaneously, the GPFCS fleet becomes perilously overtaxed.

As his fellow starfighters are shot down one by one, Hal begins to question if he’s on the right side and if he should be fighting at all. He must soon decide whether to fight for Malthus or embark on a quest for truth that may reveal a dark secret. Hal will soon discover that the real enemy is closer than he thinks.

SPACELANCER is my 93,000-word debut YA science fiction novel. Please email me if you wish to view the completed manuscript. I have included a brief sample below. Thank you for your consideration.

{Signature, contact info, sample}

ollinone
Posts: 5
Joined: September 6th, 2013, 7:02 am
Contact:

Re: YA Science Fiction Query

Post by ollinone » September 9th, 2013, 7:46 am

I couldn't find anything that would really need changing. You could connect the three consecutive paragraphs after the first line and make them one, but i don't that's a must even if some sites advice it. And add something about yourself that could help with the book's publishing like previous books you have published or if you have a large number of twitter followers you could spread word to. All in all, it's depressingly good. Well done!

Literary Flamingo
Posts: 10
Joined: September 5th, 2013, 4:38 pm
Contact:

Re: YA Science Fiction Query

Post by Literary Flamingo » September 9th, 2013, 7:08 pm

Thanks. I had the the paragraphs separate because the Queryshark has a big thing for "white space", and I sometimes add a little bio toward the end.

clara_w
Posts: 104
Joined: June 20th, 2010, 6:03 am
Contact:

Re: YA Science Fiction Query

Post by clara_w » September 10th, 2013, 3:04 pm

Im sorry I have no input, but I absolutely LOVE this query. Well done : )

I would just cross of the "please email me request" : )

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest