Dreamtraveler Query: Covenant (YA Fantasy)

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jmcooper
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Re: Dreamtraveler Query: Covenant (YA Fantasy)

Post by jmcooper » February 1st, 2010, 6:47 pm

Thanks guys! Oh-and yes on the giant paragraph--it was just a copy/paste jobber--I wasn't thinking about format. And I am definitely going to think up better descriptions for the horrible humans. Destructive and deceptive ARE overused. The history is that Humans and Cruinaislians once lived all together--think: Why do we have legends of dragons, unicorns, all other fantasy creatures?--but now our worlds are separated because of various reasons. This history is minor in the story except for the fact that now we are both legends in each others books, schools, etc. Therefore neither are trusted when we happen upon them.
Don't worry. The Dreamtraveler will change all this. ;-)

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NHWriter
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Re: Dreamtraveler Query: Covenant (YA Fantasy)

Post by NHWriter » February 2nd, 2010, 3:01 pm

jmcooper wrote: Dear Beautiful, Kind, Intelligent Agent, (that's a joke, in case you don't hear tone-of-voice in emails like my father)
This kind of intro gets used as an example of what not to do in a lot of agents'/slush lords' "how to" posts. And let me tell you, I have done the same and it never works. You assume a casualness with a person you don't know and who has read 300 other queries in the last day or two. This informal introduction may break the ice for you, but it won't make your actual pitch any better and risks offending those that expect a more professional approach by people they don't know.

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jmcooper
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Re: Dreamtraveler Query: Covenant (YA Fantasy)

Post by jmcooper » February 2nd, 2010, 5:14 pm

Do you know my father? Sorry...couldn't help myself. I would NEVER direct a query letter in that manner. It. Was. A. Joke. Just as the parenthesis states...

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