Query: Never Remember *Revised*

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melanieconklin
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Joined: February 24th, 2012, 11:43 am
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Re: Query: Never Remember *Revised*

Post by melanieconklin » February 24th, 2012, 1:37 pm

First and foremost, I could not say that I know what your basic story is about. Character, yes to some degree, but conflict and crisis are still confusing in this latest revision. I've written a few lines based on what you have in the last revision, and although I'm not sure if they will work with the story, maybe they'll give you some fodder!

Twenty two year old Devi doesn't have a clue who she is, but only her stolen memories can solve Bren's mystery.

Every morning Devi's mind is a blank slate, her memories stolen by the shadows. Though she longs for the comfort of a family she cannot recall, she has only Bren's company in her quest to restore her life, her job, and her family. He's as determined to recover her memories as she is, or else he'll never see his XXXX again - the key to finding him lives trapped in Devi's mind. Together, they navigate a treacherous world of stealthy shadows and celestial beings as they search for her truth and his salvation.

Moni12
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Joined: September 30th, 2010, 8:58 pm
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Re: Query: Never Remember *Revised*

Post by Moni12 » February 25th, 2012, 11:27 pm

Thank you all for your help! I think I'm about there.

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