New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

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Watcher55
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New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Watcher55 » June 13th, 2011, 12:24 pm

go to timestamp 11 Aug 2011, 11:34

Dear Mr/MS Agent,
[My research speaks well of you] and I’d like to tell you a story.

The Olympian gods are actually members of an inter-dimensional expedition that goes terribly wrong when the Ninth Addict, a war slave chosen as the human engine for the Olympians’ inter-dimensional transport, is awakened. The engine doesn’t remember much more than his own name, Ted, and before one day passes, he won’t remember that.
The erratic ride across spacetime ends then begins again on the first day of Nero’s infamous fire. The war slave emerges at the Circus Maximus with the power of Zeus, and Ted’s foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage by his power-hungry identical twin, Phil. At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and bloodlines, Rome’s newest god is given many names, but he must earn his own name and rescue his own past before Phil does.

Along his path to godhood Ted is befriended by a Roman firefighter but runs afoul of Hercules and the huntress Atalanta. Ted however earns the protection of Vesta, the Roman goddess of the hearth, when he rescues an infant from a blind mob. For his act of mercy, Vesta enlists Juturna, goddess of springs, and the gods’ own children to guide the Ninth Addict to his destined place among Rome’s Pantheon.

THE NINTH ADDICT is a 75,000 word fantasy that examines the role slavery and oppresion play in our own history and the burden of a legacy that America is only now learning to come to come to terms with. Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sincerely



Watcher55
Last edited by Watcher55 on August 11th, 2011, 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by wilderness » June 26th, 2011, 8:51 pm

Watcher55 wrote:Dear Mr/MS Agent,
[My research speaks well of you] and I’d like to tell you a story. Too cutesy of an opening.

The Olympian gods are actually members of an inter-dimensional expedition that goes terribly wrong when the Ninth Addict, a war slave chosen as the human engine for the Olympians’ inter-dimensional transport, is awakened. The engine doesn’t remember much more than his own name, Ted, and before one day passes, he won’t remember that. I read this paragraph several times and was quite confused. Start with your main character, Ted, and don't explain too much about the backstory. He lands on earth, he doesn't remember the past, then what? Why won't he remember his name after one day?


The erratic ride across spacetime ends then begins again on the first day of Nero’s infamous fire. What does this have to do with Ted? The war slave emerges at the Circus Maximus with the power of Zeus, and Ted’s foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage by his power-hungry identical twin, Phil. At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and bloodlines, Rome’s newest god is given many names, but he must earn his own name and rescue his own past before Phil does. I am completely confused. What is the Circus Maximus? What is going on here? What do you mean by he must earn his own name and rescue his past?


Along his path to godhood Ted is befriended by a Roman firefighter but runs afoul of Hercules and the huntress Atalanta. Ted however earns the protection of Vesta, the Roman goddess of the hearth, when he rescues an infant from a blind mob. For his act of mercy, Vesta enlists Juturna, goddess of springs, and the gods’ own children to guide the Ninth Addict to his destined place among Rome’s Pantheon. This is name soup, as Query Shark would say, and I haven't gotten a very good idea of the plot.

THE NINTH ADDICT is a 75,000 word fantasy that examines the role slavery and oppression play in our own history and the burden of a legacy that America is only now learning to come to come to terms with. Most agents don't like it when you list what you will learn from a book. Query Shark would advise you to leave this out. Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sincerely



Watcher55
Hi there,

I think you're getting caught up trying to explain your world (which is too complicated). The truth is, you don't need to. Concentrate on your first few chapters only and follow your main character. All you have to do is set up the initial conflict (which seems to have to do with his identical twin). Try taking a look at Kristin Nelson's Query Workshop (links on her blog, on the right side http://pubrants.blogspot.com/). She has some great examples for fantasy books that can be set up in a query in a mere 5 sentences. All you have to do is entice an agent with your premise, not explain your whole book.

Good luck!

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by L-live » June 26th, 2011, 11:50 pm

^ Well, the person above said what I was gonna say for the beginning.
The "I'd like to tell you a story" doesn't really match the tone of the rest of the query. Perhaps start with a line with more punch and one that fits the overall style of your novel.
Good luck!

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Watcher55 » June 27th, 2011, 2:51 pm

Thanks y'all. Let me try this. I fused this version with an earlier version. Maybe it's a bit more clear.

Dear Mr. /Ms agent,

[My research speaks well of you….] It may interest you to learn that just as History instructs the present, the opposite is also true.

Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past. The gods, whose origins lie in the future, wiped his memory after they kidnapped him from his kitchen and enslaved him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire. Ted however, has an ally and escapes, but lands in Nero’s Rome at the flashpoint of the infamous nine-day fire that claimed a third of the city.

Ted emerges in the center of Rome’s first and greatest arena, the Circus Maximus, and his foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage into adulthood by his 5,000-year-old “identical twin” Phil who tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter. What Ted doesn’t know is that Phil has been preparing for this day for centuries and plans to usurp Ted’s power in order to control the Emperor Nero’s bloodline and ultimately claim the throne of the Interversal Empire itself.

At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, Ted, the amnesiac slave and potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is given various names as he runs a gauntlet that leads from the Circus to the edge of the Roman Forum then to Hades and back. The young god however, must earn the right to choose his own name if he is to take his place amongst Rome’s Pantheon and rescue his own past before the megalomaniacal Phil does it for him.
THE NINTH ADDICT is a 75,000-word fantasy. Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sincerely,

Watcher55

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by wilderness » June 28th, 2011, 9:57 pm

This is closer, but I am still left with a lot of questions. I think you should stick from Ted's POV. One exercise you could try is to write the query in first person and then convert it back into third person. Hope that helps & good luck.
Watcher55 wrote: Dear Mr. /Ms agent,

[My research speaks well of you….] It may interest you to learn that just as History instructs the present, the opposite is also true. You don't need a transitional statement, and I think a pithy statement like this won't go over well. Be specific to your story.

Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past. I like that you started with the main character. The gods, whose origins lie in the future, wiped his memory after they kidnapped him from his kitchen and enslaved him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire. Now you've already lost me. I don't know what you mean by their origins lost in the past nor do I know anything about the Interversal Empire. I advise you to keep it from Ted's POV. Where is he when he wakes up not knowing his name? Ted however, has an ally and escapes, but lands in Nero’s Rome at the flashpoint of the infamous nine-day fire that claimed a third of the city. A lot just happened in this sentence. We weren't grounded in where he was in the first place, so it's hard to picture him escaping from it. How did he get in Rome?

Ted emerges in the center of Rome’s first and greatest arena, the Circus Maximus, and his foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage into adulthood by his 5,000-year-old “identical twin” Phil who tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter. Since Ted has lost his memory, does he know that Phil is his identical brother? Why is it in quotes? What Ted doesn’t know is that Phil has been preparing for this day for centuries and plans to usurp Ted’s power in order to control the Emperor Nero’s bloodline and ultimately claim the throne of the Interversal Empire itself. Telling us what Ted doesn't know is pulling us out of the moment -- instead this feels like backstory and lacks immediacy.

At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, Ted, the amnesiac slave and potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is given various names as he runs a gauntlet that leads from the Circus to the edge of the Roman Forum then to Hades and back. What does it mean he is given various names? By who? What do you mean by he runs the gauntlet from the Circus to Hades? I can't picture this. The young god however, must earn the right to choose his own name if he is to take his place amongst Rome’s Pantheon and rescue his own past before the megalomaniacal Phil does it for him. Why must he choose his own name? What do you mean by take his place amongst Rome's Pantheon? Does that mean he will be a god? How does this help him recover his past?

THE NINTH ADDICT is a 75,000-word fantasy. Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sincerely,

Watcher55

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Watcher55 » August 11th, 2011, 12:34 pm

I know it's taboo to talk about a series, but if I take the first book out of its context, it's nearly impossible to convey a sense of what the book itself is about.

Dear Agent,
A slave can’t be a god -- can he? Kidnapped from his kitchen, an inter-dimensional war slave starts Nero’s infamous fire and learns the price of victory.

The Olympian gods were born in an alternate future and Ted is their inter-dimensional war slave. During their voyage into the ancient past, Ted derails the transport and ignites Nero’s infamous fire then emerges on the floor of the Circus Maximus. Deprived of his memory and his name, Ted is expected to fix something he’s “gonna did.” If he fails, his power hungry, so called identical twin, Phil will become the master of Olympus and the Universe.

The Ninth Addict, the first in a planned series, is a science fiction fantasy story told in historical, and modern, symbols and metaphors. This first installment of the Back to Babel series deals with the origins of a slave-god who goes by many names but leaves no record of himself. During the course of his rite of passage, the god is cursed when he kills Hercules whose alter ego is an Eighteenth Century American slave named Blue; he calls the god “Massa.”

Complete at 72,500 words, The Ninth Addict is a story about alternate universes and people (the gods and heroes) who can manipulate space-time, but you don’t have to be a fan of science fiction to enjoy this book. Anyone who has ever wondered how Judeo-Christian History fits into World History will look forward to each new installment. It may also be a suitable recommendation for reasonably intelligent young men, high school age and up.

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Collectonian » August 11th, 2011, 1:14 pm

Hmmm...honestly, I'd say this one is a big step backward from your previous query. Tag lines and rhetorical questions are generally a no no, and there is very little on the plot of this book. The rest really doesn't give me any clarity on what the plot is about. All of the stuff added to the closing paragraph is also both vague and unnecessary. Keep it simple, title, word count, has series potential, and maybe one sentence on similar books. You might have it planned as a series, but the first book must stand alone, and be able to sell itself. It isn't a "series" if you can't get the first one accepted, nor subsequent books published :-)

I also kind of thought "It may also be a suitable recommendation for reasonably intelligent young men, high school age and up." sounds mildly insulting. :-P

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by polymath » August 11th, 2011, 2:38 pm

Consider a query as a business letter of introduction. The introduction is to a novel's major premise, actually, its main dramatic complication. Not just a complicated situation, but a larger-than-life, life-defining, action-inciting complication.

A standard block format business letter styled query begins with a product sales pitch. The product isn't the physical novel nor the story. The product is the novel's inciting or exciting crisis plot milestone pitched in one brief paragraph introducing a novel's main dramatic complication to be resolved, by answering the W questions. Who, what, when, where, why, and sometimes how of the complication. The same as journalism.

Three parts to a query letter: a brief paragraph incorporating a pitch line, a brief paragraph summary of the main plot without giving away the ending, and a brief paragraph summary wrap-up of other details: title, target audience, any pertinent author's biographical details, like publication credits, and perhaps indications suggesting the author has done the due diligence background check on the literary agency. Plus, of course, the other pertinent features, address line (Dear Agent), salutation (Respectfully yours), signature line, and contact information.

Here's a boilerplate pitch line template: A familiar stranger struggles insuperably to gain a sense of belonging in an alienating and hostile, exotic society. Okay. Meh, though. That's a fantastical social science fiction or soft science fiction premise rather than a hard science fiction fantastical science or technology premise. Dystopias fit that model, for example. Though that pitch's dramatic complication is too generic to mean anything of consequence.

Frankly, I can't tell from the assorted queries what the main dramatic complication that incites or excites the protagonist into dramatic action is. So I can't offer any suggestions except to rethink the main premise of the novel.

E.M. Forster says, The king died and then the queen died, is a story. The king died and then, out of grief, the queen died, is a plot. The king's death in the latter incites a directly causal complication train, causing the queen's grief, which, in turn, causes the queen's death. It's not a great pitch line though. Although it illustrates the central, all important emotional difference between a story situation and a dramatic complication.
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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by dios4vida » August 11th, 2011, 3:58 pm

Hi, Watcher. I heard you needed a favor? :)

I know this isn't your most recent query posted, but I think it's your best. I read your latest three times and am very confused. It feels forced and your really super cool ideas are drowned out but a lot of "whaaat?" moments. This one, however, makes a lot more sense and gives me a much better understanding of the premise, protagonist, and stakes. I'll give a red line of my opinions, though take them at face value - I'm not very good at queries, either.
Watcher55 wrote:Dear Mr. /Ms agent,

[My research speaks well of you….] It may interest you to learn that just as History instructs the present, the opposite is also true. Meh. This opening line really doesn't get me excited about your story. I feel like I'm about to go through a lecture where the boring professor thinks he's the one who can make history interesting. At this point I want to know who I'm following, why I want to follow them, and where they're taking me.

Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past. I like this. The gods, whose origins lie in the future, wiped his memory after they kidnapped him from his kitchen and enslaved him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire. Hmm...interesting! It's a little wordy but overall I think it works okay. Ted however, has an ally and escapes, but lands in Nero’s Rome at the flashpoint of the infamous nine-day fire that claimed a third of the city. Ooh, the history professor just showed up again. You're talking about a daring escape from power-thirsty gods and Rome roasting like a fallen weiner, make this really interesting!! Give us something from Ted's voice that'll show a bit more of his character and the tension that's gotta come from burning down the Greatest City in History.

Ted emerges in the center of Rome’s first and greatest arena, the Circus Maximus, How? This is jarring. and his foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage into adulthood I think "into adulthood" is implied in "rite of passage" in regards to a 17 year old kid.by his 5,000-year-old “identical twin” Phil who tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter. Okay, lots of necessary information all put into one big infodump of a sentence. I say you take the really important stake-related stuff - 5,000 year old identical twin, etc - and make those the center here. Take out the rest. All we really need to know is that Phil is the bad guy and there's some weird connection between them. What Ted doesn’t know is that Phil has been preparing for this day for centuries and plans to usurp Ted’s power in order to control the Emperor Nero’s bloodline and ultimately claim the throne of the Interversal Empire itself. This just lost me. Usurp Ted's power - what power? to control Nero's bloodline - wait, who's the bloodline? Them? - to claiming the throne of the Inerversal Empire - wait, Phil knows about the future gods? I'M SO CONFUSED!!!

At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, Love that!!Ted, the amnesiac slave and potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is given various names as he runs a gauntlet that leads from the Circus to the edge of the Roman Forum then to Hades and back. Need more of this stuff in the query. This sentence right there is golden. Tension, voice, excitement, gives us a taste of what's to come without bogging us down in details. Perfect. I haven't really been excited about the story until this point. Now I am. The young god however, must earn the right to choose his own name if he is to take his place amongst Rome’s Pantheon and rescue his own past Loved this sentence, too, until this point.before the megalomaniacal this word killed it for me, it's too overly dramatic. We know Phil's the bad guy, you can just leave it out and it packs more of a punch. Phil does it for him.
THE NINTH ADDICT is a 75,000-word fantasy. Thank you for your kind consideration.
Okay, my overall opinion - you're giving us way too much information about the places we're going and not about Ted, whom we're following around. A lot of the details (nine-day fire, first and greatest arena) are really not needed. If you focus more on the action - Ted v. Phil v. the future gods, but then Ted could be the most dangerous god somehow (I really want to know more about that!! I thought he was just some random kid until you mentioned that, and it seems like that right there is the core of the story which means it should be the core of the query.) then it would really sharpen it up. Give us glimpses of where we're going but not a full picture. Leave that for the book, right now we need more of the stakes Ted is against and the reasons why this story is exciting.

I hope that helped a little. I'd be more than happy to help any other way that I can.
Brenda :)

Inspiration isn't about the muse. Inspiration is working until something clicks. ~Brandon Sanderson

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Watcher55 » August 11th, 2011, 11:46 pm

Thanks y'all. Hopefully this is a step forward. Maybe I'm just too caught up in trying to capture the essence of the book in three short paragraphs. I'm not sure about the part in red, but I want to put across the idea that the historical aspects aren't just made up - I might just leave that bit out all together.

Dear Mr./Ms Agent,

Kidnapped from his kitchen, an inter-dimensional war slave starts Nero’s infamous fire and learns the price of victory.

Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past. The gods, whose origins lie in an alternate future, kidnap Ted, wipe his memory and enslave him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire. During their voyage into the ancient past, Ted derails the inter-dimensional transport and he lands in ancient Rome with the power of Jupiter.

Ted’s foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage by his 5,000-year-old, self-proclaimed identical twin Phil who tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter. At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, Ted, the amnesiac slave and potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is given various names as he runs a gauntlet that leads from the Circus Maximus to the edge of the Roman Forum, then to Hades and back. The young slave-god must earn the right to choose his own name if he is to take his place amongst Rome’s Pantheon and rescue his own past before Phil, who wants to rule Olympus and the Universe, does it for him.

Complete at 72,500 words, The Ninth Addict is a science fiction fantasy that may appeal to young adult males. I attended Freed Hardeman University where I earned a BA in History and a Licensure in Secondary Education. My primary focus is Ancient History and Mythology, but I had the opportunity to teach a course on the social underpinnings of the Holocaust. Through careful study of History, Religion, and Mythology, I’ve gained much insight into the historical relationships between slavery, oppression, and ambition.

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by polymath » August 12th, 2011, 1:03 am

Much improved. I'd suggest considering skipping the first line and developing the personal stakes for Ted more in the foreground. Aand yes, the red part isn't doing much for me. Though Romans adopted a good deal of Greek mythology, I think the Olympus reference might be misunderstood by readers without context, and in the query might be a distraction.
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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Quill » August 12th, 2011, 1:08 am

This is how it comes across to me:
Watcher55 wrote:
Kidnapped from his kitchen, an inter-dimensional war slave starts Nero’s infamous fire and learns the price of victory.
A kidnapped slave from another time starts a famous fire and learns about winning.
Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past.
Ted is seventeen, modern, and smart, but doesn't know his actual name and secret past.
The gods, whose origins lie in an alternate future, kidnap Ted, wipe his memory and enslave him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire.
Gods from an alternate future kidnap Ted because, somehow, this will help them control a universe.
During their voyage into the ancient past, Ted derails the inter-dimensional transport and he lands in ancient Rome with the power of Jupiter.
During this process, Ted gets away and lands in ancient Rome.
Ted’s foot is set upon a bizarre rite of passage by his 5,000-year-old, self-proclaimed identical twin Phil who tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter.
Ted gets involved in a bizarre ceremony involving his foot and an ancient twin of his, named Phil.
At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, Ted, the amnesiac slave and potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is given various names as he runs a gauntlet that leads from the Circus Maximus to the edge of the Roman Forum, then to Hades and back.
Ted runs a gauntlet.
The young slave-god must earn the right to choose his own name if he is to take his place amongst Rome’s Pantheon and rescue his own past before Phil, who wants to rule Olympus and the Universe, does it for him.
Ted must earn the right to choose a name for himself other than Ted. He must also rescue something, but if he doesn't it's not a big deal, his twin will do it for him.
Complete at 72,500 words, The Ninth Addict is a science fiction fantasy that may appeal to young adult males.
I'm not sure that this will appeal to young adult males, but I think it may.
I attended Freed Hardeman University where I earned a BA in History and a Licensure in Secondary Education.
I've studied history and licensure.
My primary focus is Ancient History and Mythology, but I had the opportunity to teach a course on the social underpinnings of the Holocaust.
I've also studied the Holocaust.
Through careful study of History, Religion, and Mythology, I’ve gained much insight into the historical relationships between slavery, oppression, and ambition.
Through my studies I've gained much insight.

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by Watcher55 » August 12th, 2011, 11:13 am

Maybe I'm closing in on this. Version #666:

Dear Mr./Ms Agent,
Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past. The gods, whose origins lie in an alternate future, kidnap Ted, wipe his memory and enslave him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire. During their voyage into the ancient past, Ted derails the inter-dimensional transport, lands in Nero’s Rome and with the power of Jupiter accidently sets the city aflame.

Ted’s 5,000-year-old, self-proclaimed identical twin Phil is there to greet him, and tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter. At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, the nameless slave, who is potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is called by various names as he endures a rite of passage that takes him from the Circus Maximus to the edge of the Roman Forum, then to Hades and back. With the help of the gods’ future-born children, the young slave-god must make a name for himself if he is to rescue his ancestor and take his place in Rome’s Pantheon. If he fails, Phil will usurp Jupiter’s power and use it to enslave the gods and proclaim himself the ruler of two Universes.

Complete at 72,500 words, The Ninth Addict is a science fiction fantasy that will appeal to young adult males.

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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by polymath » August 12th, 2011, 12:35 pm

Yes, better still.

Consider foregrounding Ted's personal stakes more, shortening sentence lengths, omitting adverbs which weaken firmness of conviction, especially wishy-washy adverb "potentially," and omitting "complete." It's not complete until it's in print. I'm not enamored of "self-proclaimed" or "tasks" used as a verb either. Consider a different term for Phil's usurping kinship with Ted. And for tasks, consider a word with more visceral punch. I don't know about the similarity between the two characters' names Ted and Phil and the Bill and Ted adventure movies.
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Re: New Query - THE NINTH ADDICT

Post by MattLarkin » August 12th, 2011, 1:07 pm

Watcher55 wrote:Maybe I'm closing in on this. Version #666:

Dear Mr./Ms Agent,
Ted is a 17-year-old 21st Century boy. Gifted with intelligence, he should know things – like his name and his past.

This doesn't quite sing to me as much as the rest of the query. The second sentence feels like trying too hard. What does "gifted with intelligence" mean? What about something like "Seventeen-year-old prodigy Ted knows everything--except his own past." (Though it starts to sound like the setup for the TV show John Doe from several years back.

The gods, whose origins lie in an alternate future, kidnap Ted, wipe his memory and enslave him in their effort to add a new Universe to their Interversal Empire. During their voyage into the ancient past, Ted derails the inter-dimensional transport, lands in Nero’s Rome and with the power of Jupiter accidently sets the city aflame.

Sweet.

Ted’s 5,000-year-old, self-proclaimed identical twin Phil is there to greet him, and tasks Ted with protecting their ancestor, Theodorus from Jupiter. At the heart of an inferno that forged reputations and cauterized bloodlines, the nameless slave, who is potentially Rome’s most dangerous god, is called by various names as he endures a rite of passage that takes him from the Circus Maximus to the edge of the Roman Forum, then to Hades and back.

I had to read this a few times. "Self-proclaimed identical twin" sounds like more than we need to know for the query? Maybe just 5000-year-old doppelganger or something? The second sentence runs on and requires too careful reading to parse. Does it matter for the query that he's called many names?

With the help of the gods’ future-born children, the young slave-god must make a name for himself if he is to rescue his ancestor and take his place in Rome’s Pantheon. If he fails, Phil will usurp Jupiter’s power and use it to enslave the gods and proclaim himself the ruler of two Universes.

Also great.

Complete at 72,500 words, The Ninth Addict is a science fiction fantasy that will appeal to young adult males.
Your plot is wild, Watcher. Like a bizarre dream, wild. I like what you have going for the story and I love Classical Mythology and History. I especially like how you integrate Nero's fire.
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