Referrals . . . Help!

[Dixon Ticonderoga]

I've just received two referrals. I have two problems. One: how, specifically, do I alter the query to reflect that this is a referral? And two: is it okay if a referral exceeds 350 words? See, I'm really happy with my current query letter (it's been very good to me), but if I add so much as a sentence then it's going to spill onto two pages.

I'm thinking short and sweet:


[agent name] recommended I contact you with my middle grade fantasy adventure, [novel name], an 84,000-word novel alternating between present-day, small-town . . . .



One last thought: should I use the word referral in the subject line of the query?

[Quill]

I'm assuming you are double spacing your query, since 350 words fills the page? Admitting ignorance here (!) but isn't it fine to single space a business letter like this?

Nice to see you around again, Dixon. Been wondering how your querying has been going.

[Dixon Ticonderoga]

Thanks, Quill. The requests for material continue trickle in. I got an R last month, and another the week before Christmas. The last one was especially painful, as the I had met with the agent in person at the fall SCBWI conference, and she was enthused by the first ten pages (she asked for a full at that meeting).
But something incredible happened to me the day I got that last R: I had a flash of insight and realized exactly how the novel should begin. It was completely unexpected. I'm Five years into this project, and while I was never terribly excited by my beginning, I really thought it had to start where it did. But now it's perfect! Intriguing opening sentence, smooth introduction to the major players, everything I needed to have said just rolled off the characters tongues. It even ends well (the new first chapter). I can't wait to finish editing it so I can send it out to these two referrals. And I can't wait to read it at the upcoming SCBWI next month. I feel like I've been given the best Christmas of my life!

[cheekychook]

First, congratulations on getting referrals---always a good thing.

Second, 250-350 words is a target amount, not an absolute---having a referral outweighs the word count, so don't stress about that. Start your query by stating that it's a referral and who is doing the referring, and state why, if you know (ie; so and so suggested I query you because...). From what I understand the fact that you open with the statement that it's a referral will automatically get the agent's attention. They're not going to notice if your query is now a sentence or two longer. If you're happy with your query DON'T CHANGE IT (other than adding the line or two about having been referred).

Third, yes, it is acceptable to put the word referral in the subject line, although you might still check the guidelines in the receiving agent's submission directions---some will only accept queries with the word query in them or have other specifics, and you wouldn't want to get sucked into a spam filter for having the wrong subject heading. They'll catch the word referral in your first sentence, I'm sure. They're pretty good readers these agent folks.

Good luck!

[Quill]

Dixon, that's awesome. I do remember you rewriting your opening chapter, I think, on the eve of sending out your ms or partial some time back. And I feel for you. I, too, have been working on a middle grade project (for longer than you, actually), and my first chapter has been my most difficult, requiring the most rewrites. Best of luck marketing your project. Sounds like you are making all the right moves.

On the subject of adding your referrals, I guess I was hinting at the idea that it seems you should be able to squeeze a couple more lines onto your page. No? Especially in email format, where there are no pages, to speak of. Guess I'm not quite understanding your dilemma. If you are sending a hard copy and absolutely need a second page, I would add the references and let the chips fall where they may. Seems the info is more important than the page count of your query.

[J. T. SHEA]

I find 1.5 line spacing useful in hard copies. I doubt many people even notice the difference between 1.5 line and double spacing. If using single spacing in a hard copy, you might skip lines between paragraphs to add more white space, as you would in an e-mail.

[Guardian]

Congratulations Dixon for your referrals. Now onto your questions... just as J.T. I also find 1.5 line spacing useful, along with Font 11 instead of 12 (As there is not so much difference between the two.). But for 350 words, use 1.5 or 2 spacing, along with Font 12. If it's two pages, then switch to Font 11, while you keep the present spacing. This Font size switch also used to be very useful in the manuscript if you want to reveal the paragraph and page break problems (Font 12 is usually not revealing this, but the font size switch is immediately revealing all the glitches. Then when all page breaks and paragraphs are okay, switch back to Font 12.).

[Dixon Ticonderoga]

Thanks everybody! I love how vibrant and collaborative these forums are. Lots of good advice!

Here are my thoughts:

If I could get my query down to 250 words I would feel like a query god. At 350, I feel like I'm really pushing the envelope of what an agent wants to slog through.

I think going below a 12pt. font with double spacing between the paragraphs is a real no-no. There is a reason good query letters are between 250-350 words. I think it's a very good test to any writer's ability to boil down there novel to just a paragraph or two. For me, when I first sat down to write my first query, I thought my head was going to explode. It seemed utterly hopeless, impossible. Then my wife said to me, "Knock your entire novel down to one sentence and go from there." I thought about it, and damned if I didn't come up with one right off the bat. It didn't take long for me to come up with half a dozen others that did the job just as well. After the picking the one I liked best, I ran with it.

I've read in many blogs that referrals are considered to be a big deal in this querying business, and I have no reason not to believe this, but I don't see any reason to make a big deal of it in the query. So I'm going to make it my lead sentence, but keep it short, adding an agent's name and five words:

[agent name] recommended I contact you concerning my middle grade fantasy adventure, [novel name], an 84,000-word novel alternating between present-day, small-town . . . .

I'm still not sure about putting referral in the subject line. I don't feel like it would be a mistake, but . . . I don't know . . . I feel like I'm over-thinking it. And when I find myself over-thinking something, I'm usually on the wrong track.

Many thanks,

Dixon Ticonderoga