Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2

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Babslighthouse
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Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2

Post by Babslighthouse » September 8th, 2010, 12:42 pm

Hello everyone I wasn't sure if my research is supposed to be in here as some say yes and some say no.


The Husky and The Boy is a beginners children's book with 1055 words.

I have done extensive research through our local DSS office and in fact have adopted 3 little boys thorough them so I know what these kids go through and how bad some places can be. There are tons of kids that feel the way my main character feels. I have also done 5 years of research on dogs thru various societies and breeders some not so good as well. All of our 9 huskies are rescued as some were beaten by kids or mistreated my adults. Our whole family is all about adopting and taking care of ones who can't care for themselves.

The Huskey and The Boy takes place in Columbia South Carolina. Jake is a young boy in foster care who really wants to find a home of his own. Who wants to be loved and cared for. He does not like where he is now, as they are somewhat mean to him. One day while he is walking in town he spots a puppy wondering around the sidewalk. Jake shares his food and starts a friendship with him and ends up finding a nice couple who wants to take care of him and the puppy.

I am an avid reader who has been posting reviews since 2008 on my blog and website. I have also written two novella's a mystery and a romance/suspense, but I have not been published as of yet.

I appreciate your time and ask for your representation.

Kind regards,
Barbara Hightower/MK
Email: Bhitwr@gmail.com
Website: http://www.babslighthouse.net
Blog: http://babs-worldofbooks.blogspot.com/
Last edited by Babslighthouse on September 10th, 2010, 9:54 am, edited 2 times in total.

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oldhousejunkie
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy a children's book

Post by oldhousejunkie » September 8th, 2010, 3:00 pm

I just had to say 'hello' to a fellow South Carolinian! I live in Columbia too...weird. :-)

Good luck with your story--it sounds good. I'm not sure about what your query format should be for a children's book. But I'll take a stab at this.
The Husky and The Boy is a beginners children's book with 1055 words.

I have done extensive research through our local DSS Spell out this acronym.office and in fact have adopted 3 little boys thorough them so I know what these kids go through and how bad some places can be. There are tons of kids that feel the way my main character feels. I have also done 5 years of research on dogs thru various societies and breeders some not so good as well. All of our 9 huskies are rescued as some were beaten by kids or mistreated my adults. Our whole family is all about adopting and taking care of ones who can't care for themselves. This should be your second paragraph. I would drop anything that is not pertinent to your research (i.e. anything personal)

The Huskey and The Boy takes place in Columbia South Carolina. Jake is a young boy in foster care who really wants to find a home of his own. Who wants to be loved and cared for. He does not like where he is now, as they are somewhat mean to him. One day while he is walking in town he spots a puppy wondering around the sidewalk. Jake shares his food and starts a friendship with him and ends up finding a nice couple who wants to take care of him and the puppy. This should be your first paragraph. Can you expound a little more? Try writing it from Jake's POV.

I am an avid reader who has been posting reviews since 2008 on my blog and website. I have also written two novella's a mystery and a romance/suspense, but I have not been published as of yet. Cut all of this. Only list your publishing credits. I've heard some agents say that they immediately put a query in the trash if it mentions other unpublished books.

I appreciate your time and ask for your representation.

Kind regards,
Barbara Hightower/MK
Email: Bhitwr@gmail.com
Website: http://www.babslighthouse.net
Blog: http://babs-worldofbooks.blogspot.com/
Good first try! Good luck!

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Babslighthouse
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy a children's book

Post by Babslighthouse » September 8th, 2010, 3:59 pm

Oh nice to see someone else from SC thank you for your comments I will re do this and take your advice. I was not sure how children books query would be either. Thank you again and hello :)

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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy 2

Post by Babslighthouse » September 8th, 2010, 6:19 pm

The Husky and The Boy is a children's book with 1055 words.

The Husky and The Boy takes place in Columbia, South Carolina. Jake is a young boy in foster care who really wants to find a home of his own. He wants to be loved and cared for. He does not like where he is now, as they are somewhat mean to him. One day while he is walking in town, he sees a puppy wandering around the sidewalk. Jake shares his food and starts a friendship with the puppy. A couple stops to talk to Jake for a few minutes and visits with the puppy. They soon have to leave, but to Jake's surprise he meets up with them again. Jake and the puppy end up with a family who wants to take care of them both.

I have done extensive research through our local Department of Social Services office and in fact have adopted 3 little boys through them so I know what these kids go through and how bad some places can be. There are tons of kids that feel the way my main character feels. With owning several Siberian Huskies I have had the opportunity to do 5 years of research on dogs through various societies and breeders, some not so good.

I appreciate your time and ask for your representation.

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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #2 revised

Post by wilderness » September 8th, 2010, 8:35 pm

Hi there,

First, a caveat: I haven't read a lot of queries for childrens books so I don't know if they are different. But generally, having a bio that is longer than the paragraph about the actual book is a query no-no. I would shorten that to one sentence.

Also, the pitch paragraph is very short and dry. You state the facts, but what makes the book cute? Try to use the language from your book. Tell us what kind of kid Jake is. How does the puppy win him over? Usually, you end the query with a conflict -- what will Jake and the puppy face before everything works out in the end?

I know your book is very short so there aren't that many details you can include. So your writing has to be extra spectacular (funny, cute, etc) to make your book stand out.

You might try searching Query Shark or Miss Snark for example childrens queries.

Hope that helps!

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Babslighthouse
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #2 revised

Post by Babslighthouse » September 8th, 2010, 9:07 pm

Thank you Wilderness for you input it does help and gives me more to work with. I appreciate it and will also look into the places you mentioned.

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oldhousejunkie
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #2 revised

Post by oldhousejunkie » September 9th, 2010, 10:17 am

Another idea would be to search for agents that represent children's fiction and then see if they have a blog. They will most likely cover what they want to see in a query. I don't know if you have visited but AgentQuery is a good place to get an idea of who represents what fiction. I believe you can search by children's fiction.

Good luck.

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Babslighthouse
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #2 revised

Post by Babslighthouse » September 9th, 2010, 10:28 am

Thank you great minds think a like I am over at AgentQuery now looking around and doing some research. I do appreciate all the help so far.

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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #2 revised

Post by Harper Karcz » September 9th, 2010, 12:34 pm

I don't have time to do a full query critique right now, but I wanted to leave a quick note. The term "children's book" or "beginner children's book" isn't specific enough, and the type of book this is will determine what info the query letter should have. First, determine if you're written a picture book text, or if you've written an easy reader or chapter book. If this is a picture book, your word count's a little long for current market standards. If you're doing an easy reader, then your word count's pretty short.

Most agents who rep picture books (and there are comparatively few of them, though I can give you a list to start from if you'd like) will want to see the entire manuscript up front. So you'd be submitting a cover letter that gives a brief (2 - 4 sentences) description of the story, one paragraph about past publications or any pertinent biographical info (I like what you have, though you might want to tighten it a bit), and then a sentence to note that the text is pasted below (for e-mail queries) or enclosed (for snail queries).

For easy readers and chapter books, you'd query more like one would query a novel.

If an agent sees "children's book" at the top of your query, she'll think you haven't done your research, and that query will go in the trash! This sounds like a sweet story, so you want to make sure you're using the proper terminology before it goes out. Like I mentioned above, there aren't that many agents who do picture books (PBs), so you don't want to burn through them with an imprecise query.

Good luck!
Having just the vision's no solution
Everything depends on execution.

-- Stephen Sondheim

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Babslighthouse
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #2 revised

Post by Babslighthouse » September 9th, 2010, 6:39 pm

Thank you Stephen for the time you did take that is the part I am trying to figure out f i want it to be a picture book or expand for easy readers. If you could send me a list a your leisure that would be great. Thank you for the advice everyone has been great. I am leaning towards picture book at the moment. Decisions lol.

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Babslighthouse
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2

Post by Babslighthouse » September 10th, 2010, 9:55 am

The Husky and The Boy is a children's Picture book with 1024 words.

The Husky and The Boy takes place in Columbia, South Carolina. Jake is a young boy in foster care who really wants to find a home of his own. He wants to be loved and cared for. He does not like where he is now, as they are somewhat mean to him. He really wants a home of his own and a mom to call his own. One day while he is walking in town, he sees a puppy wandering around the sidewalk. Jake shares his food and starts a friendship with the puppy. If it weren't for the puppy, Jake would not know what it is like to be wanted. A couple stops to talk to Jake for a few minutes and visits with the puppy. Jake really liked the couple and dreads going back to the foster home. He knows they don't care about him there. The couple soon have to leave. Will Jake and the puppy ever find love they are looking for?

I have done extensive research through our local Department of Social Services office and in fact have adopted 3 little boys through them so I know what these kids go through and how bad some places can be. There are tons of kids that feel the way my main character feels. With owning several Siberian Huskies I have had the opportunity to do 5 years of research on dogs through various societies and breeders, some not so good.

I appreciate your time and ask for your representation.

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wilderness
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2

Post by wilderness » September 21st, 2010, 1:33 am

Hi again,
You're in luck because Query Shark just posted a picture book query: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/2010/09/178.html
Janet mentions that you should include the entire text of a picture book in the query.
Hope that helps!

clara_w
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Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2

Post by clara_w » September 21st, 2010, 4:14 am

I think this story is lovely. But like wilderness said, Janet has a post saying to put the whole story on the query.
I really wish I could help you more, but Im not familiar with this market...
Still, I just LOVED your premise.

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