I think you should keep "his divorce, her widowhood, single parenting" because it shows us specifically what they're dealing with. The only thing that hung me up, though, is wondering about the single parenting. You mention that Daniel "hopes it's a first step toward starting the family he longs to have" but I don't know if that ever happened. So I'm not sure if Marienne is the single parent or both of them are single parents.
I think this is a great query. Concise, but filled with relevant details. Good work!cheekychook wrote: Daniel and Marienne’s friendship has helped them weather every hardship they’ve faced---his divorce, her widowhood, single parenting---now they’re both secretly wondering if it could survive a first kiss.
When NYU professor Daniel Gardner’s career-obsessed wife convinces him to move to the suburbs, he hopes it’s a first step toward starting the family he longs to have. This is a great first line. You've given me the setting, sense of the main and secondary characters, and an idea of the conflict, all within 28 words. Nice! Instead Instead of what? Having kids? he meets his neighbor, Marienne Valeti, who loves her freelance design job, but must contend with a growing sense of isolation created by her husband’s indifference. A penchant for good books, bad movies, and Marienne’s to-die-for brownies, sparks a powerful bond between them. Passion simmers Why does the passion simmer? Time passes? , but they resist its lure, giving in only in the seclusion of their own minds. When events conspire to leave them both single, they struggle with different issues I think you could cut this because you mention the issues above. , terrified to risk their friendship to discover if they are truly meant to be.
I'm assuming you'll include the title, genre, and word count.