1st Query Letter - The Oracle's Revenge
Posted: July 30th, 2010, 4:47 pm
This is my first attempt at a query letter. I've read Nathan's blog on the subject along with many other blogs. I've read some books that give advice and I've read a lot of the letters and advice in this forum. Having no personal baseline with which to compare this letter, I'm hoping to get your thoughts and suggestions.
Letter Begins Here:
________________
Disillusioned and disgruntled Air Force Major Jarv Guerra, drinks too much, drives too fast, and takes too many risks. Assigned a dead end, staff officer job at a NATO headquarters in Italy, the only thing keeping him sane is his Italian girlfriend, Regina, and his dream of retiring in Italy. However when he starts having dreams about natural disasters before they occur, he begins to question his sanity. When an ancient oracle tells him he must go on a journey to unveil a shroud that hides the truth of an ambition that will destroy humanity; he fears the question of his sanity is answered.
The oracle guides Jarv on a journey of danger and deceit; a journey Jarv doesn’t want to take until he realizes that it is up to him to prevent the cataclysmic event that not only threatens the woman he loves, but the lives of every man, woman, and child on the planet.
Jarv finds himself the unwilling pawn in a game of revenge between Sibyl, the Oracle of Cumae, and the Sun God, Apollo. He must risk his life to recover the Lost Sibylline Books of Prophesy, decipher the secrets within them, and decide whether he should stop an event that could lead to the end of mankind.
The Oracle’s Revenge is an 85,000-word fantasy thriller novel. I am a retired United States Air Force officer and this is my first novel.
Upon your request, I would be happy to send you the complete manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.
Letter Begins Here:
________________
Disillusioned and disgruntled Air Force Major Jarv Guerra, drinks too much, drives too fast, and takes too many risks. Assigned a dead end, staff officer job at a NATO headquarters in Italy, the only thing keeping him sane is his Italian girlfriend, Regina, and his dream of retiring in Italy. However when he starts having dreams about natural disasters before they occur, he begins to question his sanity. When an ancient oracle tells him he must go on a journey to unveil a shroud that hides the truth of an ambition that will destroy humanity; he fears the question of his sanity is answered.
The oracle guides Jarv on a journey of danger and deceit; a journey Jarv doesn’t want to take until he realizes that it is up to him to prevent the cataclysmic event that not only threatens the woman he loves, but the lives of every man, woman, and child on the planet.
Jarv finds himself the unwilling pawn in a game of revenge between Sibyl, the Oracle of Cumae, and the Sun God, Apollo. He must risk his life to recover the Lost Sibylline Books of Prophesy, decipher the secrets within them, and decide whether he should stop an event that could lead to the end of mankind.
The Oracle’s Revenge is an 85,000-word fantasy thriller novel. I am a retired United States Air Force officer and this is my first novel.
Upon your request, I would be happy to send you the complete manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.