I just spent days reading the Shark and Miss Snark and re-wrote a new query with certain guidelines in mind in the hope even a generic query could pique interest:
-A query written in the present tense provides more immediacy (original query was in written in past tense)
-Keep it as short as possible (original query was 41 words longer... still something)
-Try to capture the voice (my ms is written in 1st person and the original query didn't capture the voice, probably because I didn't feel confident enough.)
-Introduce MC in first paragraph (original query did this)
-Make sure the plot, setting and conflict are well defined (I let go of all the generic stuff in the original query)
I really appreciate any feedback you can give me.
Thank you very much for your honest critique! :)See this for revision.