The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Share your blood sweat tears query for feedback and lend your hard-won expertise to others
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wilderness
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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by wilderness » June 24th, 2010, 5:54 pm

I did get two requests for partials and one full! Weeeeeeeeeeee! Wish me luck!
Congrats Susan! That's awesome. Not surprising either, since you have a great voice. :) Best of luck.

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by suesan0814 » June 24th, 2010, 6:17 pm

BethC wrote:You've got some good advice so I won't try to mess that up. I agree you would have to catch an agent in just the right mood since it doesn't read like the usual query and being in first person is discouraged. But all that said....I'm 58. Are they adopting?

LOL - sweetie - they have fangs!

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by suesan0814 » June 24th, 2010, 6:22 pm

wilderness wrote:
I did get two requests for partials and one full! Weeeeeeeeeeee! Wish me luck!
Congrats Susan! That's awesome. Not surprising either, since you have a great voice. :) Best of luck.

Thanks so much, wilderness. And now I wait. LOL I have my fingers crossed.

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by BethC » June 24th, 2010, 6:38 pm

Just wanted to congratulate you on the requests. I love your voice and the story is one I will definitely read. Oh, about the fangs...58 and you'll look 25...honey, I'd stretch my neck quicker than Bella did for Edward. No suck, no gain.

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by Quill » June 24th, 2010, 11:11 pm

suesan0814 wrote:Thanks so much Ang. I have made a lot of changes to the main query. I need to post it here.
Please do. It would be great to see the winning query!

And I also mention the other two novels as well. Just didn't put in all the intro and ending stuff here. I did get two requests for partials and one full! Weeeeeeeeeeee! Wish me luck!
Super! Good luck!!

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by suesan0814 » July 16th, 2010, 6:46 pm

It's official, I have contracted The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein, and it's scheduled to be out in July of next year. They also requested the second in the series, which I had to edit like mad for the last two weeks before sending it. Sorry for neglecting everyone here. I've been a train wreck. LOL I thank all of you for your comments and suggestions. Now it's time for paybacks. I will be reading and reviewing queries ASAP.

Susan

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wilderness
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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by wilderness » July 16th, 2010, 7:56 pm

Congratulations!!!! That was amazingly fast. Please do share your final query with us, so we can learn from it. :)

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by suesan0814 » July 17th, 2010, 3:23 pm

wilderness wrote:Congratulations!!!! That was amazingly fast. Please do share your final query with us, so we can learn from it. :)
Thanks Wilderness. Here is the query I sent to them:

THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD: THEY'RE SO VEIN is an urban fantasy, completed at
> 88,000 words.
>
>
> There I was, fifty-eight, contemplating my life with white-knuckles
> and a desperation that gives the stockholders of CoverGirl, Max
> Factor, Revlon, and Maybelline something to smile about, when this
> little kid and his mother show up. They got into a real yelling
> match--I decided to whip out my cell phone and film the tirade--the
> little shit sank his fangs in my neck and the next thing ya know I'm
> the back seat of my Jeep, newly acquired fangs hanging out, with my
> sister JoAnn's beloved French poodle, Tootles, in my lap.
>
> It wasn't pretty--I killed the dog--JoAnn went all ape shit--I passed
> out.
>
> I woke up locked inside my walk in freezer with JoAnn tapping a pair
> of sharpened tent stakes on the door, clutching a copy of Diary of a
> Vampire, waiting for the sun to come up. As if that wasn't bad enough,
> every estrogen producing person in my immediate family was living
> under my roof at the time. Three generations of irritating women, and
> only one un-vain, vein in the bunch. My daughter Jeni, completely
> happy with her mortal life, tried to reason with the rest of my family
> when they started shoving their necks in front of my face. Did they
> listen? Hell no! I looked twenty-five…
>
> …they looked…well…old…
>
> …a domino effect quickly ensued, leaving Jeni the sole voice of
> reason.
>
> We soon found out feedin' ain't easy…not with five new immortals on
> the loose.
>
>
> JoAnn inadvertently turned a raccoon into a vampoon--talk about
> screwing up the whole eco-system. My vamped-out eighty-three year old
> mother, mixing blood with pleasure, began to seize, with gusto, the
> moments she'd missed in her sexually deficient life.
>
> That's when we got the attention of the Morizzio Cartel, and they sent
> Paul the resident Werewolf to our door with a warning. The big bad
> wolf phased into human form right in front of us--damn, he was sexy
> naked.
>
> Marcus, the leader of the Cartel, was intensely attracted to me and
> that helped. However, I was hell bent on resisting him...
>
> …but I lost an argument with my clitoris during a ride to the Miami
> compound and went down on him at seventy-five miles an hour with five
> cars full of vampires vying for a better view. It was very
> embarrassing.
>
> We finally realized the hard way, being immortal wasn't all about
> vanity. Go figure. Being sentenced to an eternity of immortal critter
> control wasn't what I'd fanged up for, either.
>
>
>
> Completed, the second in the series: The Grateful Undead: Born Again,
> is approximately 89,000 words and takes the immortal women into a
> battle with Erzsebet Bathory, the legendary 'Blood Countess', who has
> a history with Dorius, Marcus' brother. Erzsebet is back to her old
> tricks and bodies start showing up everywhere. The women take a
> detour from their immortal critter control duties to try to apprehend
> Erzsebet with a plan to send her back into servitude with a colorful
> demon named Rafael. They get more than they bargain for, which segues
> into the third novel in the series, The Grateful Undead: Blood, Sweat,
> and Demon tears.
>
>
> I look forward to hearing from you, and thank you for your time and
> consideration.

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Heather B
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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by Heather B » July 18th, 2010, 7:14 pm

Wow, congratulations!
Thanks for sharing the query, this is a book I'll be on the lookout for.
Journey to the Cuckoo's Nest

http://heathermbryant.blogspot.com.au/

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Re: The Grateful Undead: They're So Vein

Post by suesan0814 » July 19th, 2010, 5:26 pm

Heather B wrote:Wow, congratulations!
Thanks for sharing the query, this is a book I'll be on the lookout for.
Thank you Heather.

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