Query: YA Speculative Fiction

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informalhospital
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Joined: February 20th, 2021, 8:23 am
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Query: YA Speculative Fiction

Post by informalhospital » June 15th, 2021, 8:29 pm

Dear [Agent’s Name],

A time traveler, a pretty boy, a mind reader, and a speedster, have one goal: break into their university’s high-security lab to uncover the truth behind the Activation. The Activation – a supernatural gift from an alien civilization – allows one percent of the human population to ‘activate’ inert segments of their DNA, giving them superpowers. Now, there are whispers of the university piloting an experimental treatment that could Activate more people, for a price. The crew plans to find out exactly what that price is.

Their plan is foiled when Chiama, a Non-Active civilian, arrives at school. The problem? The time traveler, Wren, knows Chiama. Under the university’s directive, Wren has been secretly jumping through time all year to prevent Chiama’s murder. For her part, Chiama is clueless and think she's there to finish her astronomy degree. Wren becomes convinced Chiama is somehow related to the mysteries of the new Activation treatment, and wants her along for the ride.

During the break-in, the students stumble upon damning information about the university’s experiments and a pact Earth made with the aliens. Now, the crew is being hunted by Chiama’s assassin and their own school as they race to find the ugly truth behind humanity’s “gift”, and figure out how Chiama’s latent abilities fit in.

BROKEN STRANDS (88,000 words) is a young adult speculative fiction novel. It is thematically similar to AN ABSOLUTELY REMARKABLE THING, with a character-driven plot echoing THE SPACE BETWEEN WORLDS.The main characters of my manuscript represent diverse racial identities, gender identities, and sexual orientations. Additionally, one character is neurodivergent.

I have a BA in Creative Writing from SCHOOL and have published articles in parenting magazines related to my work as a behavior analyst.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

brownwr
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Re: Query: YA Speculative Fiction

Post by brownwr » June 21st, 2021, 9:01 am

Hello informalhospital,

Your story sounds fun.

You may want to lead with your protagonist(s) names in the first paragraph. Does the pretty boy have a power or is he Non-Active civilian? I think you are good at explaining the Activation.

I am confused by the university. Is the university good, bad, or both? The group wants to break into the university's high-security lab, but it sounds like Wren is working for the university here: "Under the university's directive, Wren has been secretly jumping through time all year to prevent Chiama's murder."

I hope this helps. Best of luck to you!

Gail
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Joined: September 10th, 2023, 12:04 pm
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Re: Query: YA Speculative Fiction

Post by Gail » September 10th, 2023, 12:49 pm

Re: your query for Broken Strands.
Well organized and set forth letter denoting both the story and your qualifications for writing it.
One tiny type Chiama think needs to be (thinks) at least I think so.
As a microwave reader I'm always hungry for the action on line one. With that in mind I found paragraph three's info worthy of first place in the document.
As with another of the critiques I read, I'm in confusion as to if the university is good or bad. Is there an element in the university or a specific person who is in charge of the power-mongering?

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