Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

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brownwr
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Joined: March 22nd, 2021, 2:33 pm
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Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Post by brownwr » May 27th, 2021, 2:57 pm

Hello,
I think my last queries needed some work. I got some quick canned replies. Please review this one. It hard to believe queries are so hard to get right.
Thanks in advance!

brownwr
Posts: 19
Joined: March 22nd, 2021, 2:33 pm
Contact:

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Post by brownwr » May 27th, 2021, 2:59 pm

Take 7:

Dear Agent,

I would like to submit my novel, Kolin and Kaira Grey and the Misty Moors Academy, for your consideration. A work of Middle-grade fiction complete at 78,000 words and available at your request.

When 12-year-old twins Kolin and Kaira Grey find themselves hurled into a world, their parents left behind knowing magic is dangerous in the wrong hands and did not want it in the hands of their children. A group that practices dark wizardry called the Order of Night kills Kolin and Kaira's parents. The two orphans now live with their Grandmother Eleanor Grey, a virtual stranger near the town of Greymorr, a place that chooses not to adopt modern ways.

Kolin and Kaira never fit in at their school in London. Kolin’s adventuresome nature led to trouble, and Kaira was too busy daydreaming. Making friends was difficult, and they were unable to relate to their classmates. They now attend the same academy as their parents did. An academy that teaches more than your basic subjects, unless you count wand-making basic. They make two new friends, which they can relate to in Avery Stansberry and Walter Thornton.

Kolin and Kaira cannot sit idly by and start unraveling the trail that leads to the at-large killers of their parents and the reason for their deaths with help from their friends. Bit by bit Kolin and Kaira learn more about their parent’s past and the Order of Nights’ quest to take over the magical world.

I have two middle-grade children reader that inspired me to write my first novel.

Kolin and Kaira Grey and the Misty Moors Academy will appeal to readers who enjoyed A Tale of Magic By Chris Colfer, The Tyrant's Tomb By Rick Riordan, and Lady Smoke By Laura Sebastian.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

brownwr
Posts: 19
Joined: March 22nd, 2021, 2:33 pm
Contact:

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Post by brownwr » March 14th, 2022, 4:13 pm

Update, It has been a about year since I first posted. I finally received, "I’d love to read more of Kolin Grey and the Misty Moors Academy." which means my query past an agents test.
Last edited by brownwr on March 15th, 2022, 7:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

brownwr
Posts: 19
Joined: March 22nd, 2021, 2:33 pm
Contact:

Re: Query: Kolin Grey and The Misty Moors Academy

Post by brownwr » March 14th, 2022, 4:15 pm

Take 8:

Dear Ms.,

I would like to submit my novel, Kolin Grey and the Misty Moors Academy, for your consideration. A complete work of Middle-grade fiction at approximately 75,000 words and available at your request.

Twelve-year-old twins Kolin and Kaira were misfits that never fit in at their school in London. Kolin’s adventuresome nature led to trouble, and Kaira was often too busy studying.

Making friends was difficult, for they could not relate to their classmates.

They found themselves hurled into a world of magic when a former Professor of their parents entered their store in London. Leaving them with a mysterious package that draws their parents, Donna and John Grey, back into a world they left behind. Because they knew magic in the wrong hands is dangerous.

These events lead to Donna and John’s untimely deaths. The two orphans now live with their Grandmother Eleanor Grey, a virtual stranger near Greymorr, a place that chooses not to adopt modern ways.

Kolin and Kaira now attend the Misty Moors Academy as their parents did before them. An academy that teaches more than your basic subjects unless you count wand creation basic. They make two new friends, Avery Stansberry and Walter Thornton.

Kolin and Kaira cannot sit idly by and start unraveling the trail that leads to their parent’s killers and the reason for their deaths. With help from their friends, bit by bit, Kolin and Kaira learn more about their parent’s past, why they died, and the Order of Nights’ quest to take over the world.

Kolin Grey and the Misty Moors Academy will appeal to readers who enjoyed A Tale of Magic, A Tale of Witchcraft, A Tale of Sorcery By Chris Colfer, and Amari and The Night Brothers by B. B Alton.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

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