Talk the Walk (Revised 12-7-14)

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GJF
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Joined: April 12th, 2013, 7:01 pm
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Talk the Walk (Revised 12-7-14)

Post by GJF » December 6th, 2014, 6:33 pm

((Let me first defend my lack of contributions here. As stated, "Share your blood sweat tears query for feedback and lend your hard-won expertise to others", I have no 'hard-won expertise' (in the world of authors), I'm only hoping while working for 2+ yrs on this project, I've gained some writing skills. Thanks in advance for any input))

And here's my first attempt at querying a full service agency...


I’m writing to you specifically in order to join your diverse team of business developers to help bring this project to life. As a man that likes to deviate from the status quo, you should appreciate Talk the Walk which will take you on an emotional journey after a prescription of failure was delivered, alternative remedies became the second biggest part of the fight.

After a shallow dive was stopped short by a sandbar yielding a broken neck and quadriplegia, I was informed I would never walk again. Unhappy with their pessimism, my reformed childhood rebellion went to work problem solving.

In the memoir, Talk the Walk, the reader will find themselves on the passionate ride breaking down the thought process learned from a volatile childhood which luckily fine-tuned the survival skills. Four weeks after becoming a quadriplegic, when I first naively told my doctor ‘I would walk in two weeks’, she sadly informed me ‘No’. I didn’t realize it at the time but the ring leader of the antagonist was born.

After a year of attempting to justify them as team members, I found myself paralyzed by their gloomy ‘prescriptions’ and was left no choice but to fire them all and set off on my own journey compiling my own team of true and pure ‘health’ specialists.

Until proven otherwise, I’m now the most successful recovered quadriplegic in the world. Not denying the amount of luck involved, nothing can take away from the determination, thought and efforts involved in making this an amazing journey that all will relate to.

The project is currently 130,000 words and growing and now ready for some professional input. As the story will reveal, I work relentlessly to get things right. I would be grateful if you would consider Talk the Walk for representation. Much thanks, and hope to talk to you soon.
Last edited by GJF on December 7th, 2014, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

longknife
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Re: Talk the Walk

Post by longknife » December 7th, 2014, 3:15 pm

Too wordy.

No immediate hook.

I have no idea what the premise is.

You need to do some research on preparing a proposal.
Drop by Father Serra's Legacy http://msgdaleday.blogspot.com. Comments always eagerly awaited - but only if you find the item interesting enough to respond to.

GJF
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Joined: April 12th, 2013, 7:01 pm
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Re: Talk the Walk (Revised 12-7-14)

Post by GJF » December 7th, 2014, 7:20 pm

Thanks Longknife, I guess I'm trying too hard. I get it and appreciate your input. I posted a revised attempt.

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