Query: YA Fantasy

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Query: YA Fantasy

Post by katemargaret » November 21st, 2021, 1:26 pm

Dear [AGENT],

I hope my first novel will appeal to your love of “girls who kick ass” with its representation of strong-minded female characters and a protagonist who finds the courage to fight when the odds are stacked against her.

It was a miracle of magick that brought Everly Peris to Empyriam, a twist of fate that lured Noa Berrie to the forbidden gateway between their worlds. It only took one touch to open it, one step over the threshold before his words shattered everything she knew about her life.

She was born in this realm, half hybra, half kree, with the power to manifest energy and manipulate the air. Finding out that magick is real is certainly intriguing, but knowing her parents lied about their past was truly devastating. Unfortunately, dealing with an identity crisis and the life she would have had is the least of her problems.

When Brax Cava learns of Everly’s return to Empyriam, he knows one thing: his plan to take over the realm will finally come to fruition. The Perises eluded him for years, and lost with them, a piece of his coveted Ternion, the ancient tome that will give him all the dark magick he needs to rule. With his cohorts hunting her down, it’s only a matter of time before she leads him to her parents.

As Brax’s plot unfurls, Everly and Noa are guided by the spirits in the wind – they must trust the light in her ever-growing power. The fate of Empyriam is left in their hands, and only her magick can save the realm from darkness and destruction.

THE EMPYRIAM CHRONICLES, complete at 88,000 words, is the first book in a potential series.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

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Re: Query: YA Fantasy

Post by J. T. SHEA » November 22nd, 2021, 9:53 am

Much better! You now gives us more of the atmosphere of your novel, what makes it unique. Some of the magic system, the villain's ambitions, the protagonists' gifts and vulnerabilities. I like to think of agents and other professionals as readers avid to be entertained and surprised rather than stern markers of school exam tests. I would be curious to hear what other forum members think.

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