Search found 57 matches
- October 26th, 2010, 3:35 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query
- Replies: 28
- Views: 9555
Re: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query
Dear Mr. or Ms. Agent, Some people collect stamps; others keep coins. Daly English has a collection too—emotions. By keeping her feelings locked safely away between the pages of her journal, she aims to dismiss herself from their effects. Defining entries from Daly’s collection begin each chapter, ...
- October 26th, 2010, 2:27 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (Newer Draft on page 2)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 6803
Re: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (second attempt)
Standing in Raz’s way is Alli, the Harlot of Beldessario, the city’s resident water wizard. Passionate, kind-hearted, and wise, she’s been waiting for the right moment to train Tessa herself. With Raz in her city and his army at the gates, she cannot afford to wait any longer. She’ll have to use al...
- October 26th, 2010, 2:13 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (Newer Draft on page 2)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 6803
Re: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (second attempt)
Just a few questions, coming from someone who is not at all well-versed in the fantasy genre. Do you mean questions the query should answer or questions that you would like to know the answers to? How is Tessa talented--musically, magically? Yes! Tessa walks alongside the canals, day-in and day-out...
- October 25th, 2010, 7:19 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query
- Replies: 28
- Views: 9555
Re: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query
You spend a lot of time on the themes of the novel. Focus on the story. There's also an alarming lack of specificity when you need it most. "An unexpected tragedy occurs?" Then you've specificity where you don't need it "the outcast pregnant teenager who serves as an unlikely mentor.&...
- October 25th, 2010, 5:28 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (Newer Draft on page 2)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 6803
THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (Newer Draft on page 2)
Newer New Version on page two. * * * I went back to the drawing board (mostly) after the last version and have what I hope is a vastly improved query letter. I would appreciate all the criticism you care to provide. Here is the previous query letter . Thanks in advance! Dear [Agent name], Tessa is ...
- October 13th, 2010, 6:19 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Wizard Seeking Trophy Bride
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3310
Re: Wizard Seeking Trophy Bride
I LOVE this idea. The query needs a lot work. The problem you've got is that you've got such a great idea. You have an additional task. Not only do you have to make the novel sound interesting and convince an agent you can string together 106,000 words into an enjoybale story, you have to convince t...
- October 7th, 2010, 5:40 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
- Replies: 24
- Views: 7920
Re: Query -IRON HEART-
Dear Agent, Terik is a toad living in the kingdom of Garn where magic and machine live side by side. But Terik’s life is turned upside down when he is cursed against his will by a crazy witch with a dangerous invention. Now stuck in a human body, Terik must travel to the human lands to find the wit...
- October 1st, 2010, 2:53 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Stuck at the 1/3rd way mark
- Replies: 12
- Views: 5576
Re: Stuck at the 1/3rd way mark
Having gotten stuck at the 1/3 mark (or earlier) several times, I tried a new technique with my latest project. I broke the novel into scenes and just wrote the scene that most intrigued me every day. Slowly but surely, I filled the novel in. The trick was writing what I wanted, and writing *every* ...
- September 15th, 2010, 11:35 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Fantasy Novel Query-- "3rd" draft
- Replies: 17
- Views: 7605
Re: Fantasy Novel Query
Few can appreciate the depths of Ravenel’s love for the legendary knight who steals her heart—certainly not Kellek, the knight’s closest friend. When Kellek discovers Ravenel in the midst of a bloody ritual with the knight, he disrupts it. The spell would have bound her with the knight for eternity...
- September 14th, 2010, 2:11 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 4 on page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 6870
Re: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 4 on page 2)
What did she have, to sacrifice, before? Why does she have nothing left? What sort of sacrifices have been needed, and why? What sort would be needed now, if she had the wherewithall? I'm thinking "sacrifice" might not be the best word here. Not sure "with nothing left to sacrifice&q...
- September 10th, 2010, 7:33 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: HARP-BROKEN--latest version at end..thanks for input!
- Replies: 14
- Views: 5705
Re: Query: HARP-BROKEN--new version at end...thanks for input!
In YA fantasy HARP-BROKEN, Philadelphia teen Roiseen O'Reilly wants her life back. Her beloved Dad, a world-class restorer of musical instruments, is missing in Ireland. Dad provided the free concert tickets that allowed her to suck up to the "in" crowd at her suburban private school--and...
- September 10th, 2010, 7:19 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Black Hole Son - V4
- Replies: 11
- Views: 3727
Re: Black Hole Son - V4
All right, try this on. This one is less synopsis-y: The world of the future is a harsh place. Even harsher for Remy and Ash. They're brothers. They wake up in separate parts of a metropolis and have no memory. Remy wakes up on a park bench with some pills, a sweater, and a strange gun. He knows th...
- September 10th, 2010, 6:46 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 4 on page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 6870
Re: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 4 on page 2)
***Fourth version*** Last rewrite for the weekend. The first round of letters go out next week! Thank you all for the help. It is much appreciated. Dear [Mr./Ms. Agent Name], Born blind, the street musician Tessa always considered her ability to see auras—and nothing else—as more of a curse than a b...
- September 9th, 2010, 6:47 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 4 on page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 6870
Re: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 2 on page 1)
Third version. Hopefully getting closer. I've dropped Alli from the query and focused even more on Tessa and her powers. Comments appreciated. Dear [Mr./Ms. Agent Name], Born blind, the street musician Tessa always considered her ability to see auras—and nothing else—as more of a curse than a blessi...
- September 8th, 2010, 6:08 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: THE HEART OF BELDESSARIO - Fantasy (v. 4 on page 2)
- Replies: 19
- Views: 6870
Re: QUERY: The Heart of Beldessario - Fantasy
New version. Comments appreciated. Dear [Mr./Ms. Agent Name], Born blind, the street musician Tessa always considered her ability to see auras—and nothing else—as more of a curse than a blessing. Seeing auras may not win her many friends, but being able to spot the blackened hearts of brigands keeps...