Nathan Bransford - The Forums

This story sounds AMAZING. I like the first version best too. The only suggestion I might make (and others might disagree, but i thought I'd throw it out there)--the detailing is VERY dense and adds to what the story is, but dense details, complex sentence structure and long paragraph combined to m...

I would like to add that I respectfully disagree with the above poster that your story may be flawed. It may be, for all I know, but I don't think that can be told from just a query. Maybe the query just doesn't explain everything well enough to tell us all we want to know. Good luck. I like your p...

I've heard rules like: the first name in the query should be the main character. Or to use third person present tense regardless of how your manuscript is written. There are others that I can't think of right off the bat. My first query started with "King Elijah would kill his own daughter to s...

Here's my query. I'm looking for any suggestions you can provide. Thanks JQ - - Hell has come to Gothic. On a job to secure his freedom, a self-condemning bounty hunter tracks a member of his former gang to Gothic, a Rocky Mountain coal-mining town. The bounty hunter traded his death sentence for a...

Thank you to everyone for your advice. I'm going with the first query with a few minor tweaks to reflect your responses. I am sending out my first batch from this query today. I will keep everyone informed if I get any requests. To date, I have not gotten even a partial request with my last two quer...

I was about to start querying with the letter that everyone her helped me with when a couple small details kept rubbing me wrong. I tried to fix them but was afraid I might have ruined my query by making more questions than answers. So what better way to decide than getting all of your brilliant adv...

Very nice job. Tell me where to buy this because I'd read it. No specific comments about the query as I am an amatuer but I did like it. Good luck and keep us informed on your progress.

I started my own blog site basically to have an avenue to practice my writing and get critiques. Though I used my epertase name for it, the site is mostly whatever I choose to write about at any given time. I include a link with my email address on my queries just in case an agent wants to sample my...

Great advice. I kick myself for wasting my chance with my top agents with my terrible early queries.

Maybe a silly question. In a query, is it worth taking small risks? I'll use an example to show what I mean. Let's say an agent once replied to someone on her blog, "Oh Gawd, don't call me Ms. Your Highness of Empress would be fine," but it was a couple years ago. If someone sent a query b...

Also, I realize the perfect agent for me may not be someone I originally think is a "top pick" and vice versa - one of my "top picks" may not be the best fit for me. You know, that's a really good point. I was thinking about this, and I bet if an agent said 'yes' to me, they'd m...

One more time (hopefully). As always, all help appreciated. Though still generic (magical event), I tried to tell a little more of what it does. I changed some of the query with hopes of answering everyone's questions a little more while subtly showing what is so important about this event. It makes...

my goal is to have my rough draft revised and polished by my birthday, but i'm now advancing that to the end of January. This is my query, which i've gotten some advice on. i'd appreciate any comments you have, so i can get this ready to mail it out as soon as the novel is polished. Thanks. I'd rea...

I'm working on the suggestions but I have trouble with the "magical event" part as well. I only use that generic phrase because I can assume everyone understands it. The actual event has to do with the name of the book but is impossible to explain, even briefly, in a query (I've tried). I ...

Well, if no one else has any additional criticism of my query from a few posts back, I may send it out to a couple agents tomorrow. Feel free to tear it apart. I hope it's ready. Fingers crossed. Thanks for everyone's help.