I think this story is lovely. But like wilderness said, Janet has a post saying to put the whole story on the query.
I really wish I could help you more, but Im not familiar with this market...
Still, I just LOVED your premise.
Search found 104 matches
- September 21st, 2010, 4:14 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2
- Replies: 12
- Views: 5626
- September 20th, 2010, 11:16 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3872
Re: Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane
Thank you so much notw =)
- September 20th, 2010, 11:16 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: North Woods Assassin
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3509
Re: North Woods Assassin
This is the first draft of my 853 word synopsis. I use the snowflake method so it'll eventually be my outline. I'm looking forward to all critiques, thank you! Michael Donatello is an ex-mafia contract killer for the Marcuccio crime family who chooses to leave the life after a failed hit cause’s di...
- September 20th, 2010, 4:54 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: Synopsis-Forsaken
- Replies: 11
- Views: 5674
Re: Synopsis-Forsaken
Thanks in advance for the advice :) Anna’s sixteenth birthday should have been a time celebrating her transition into adulthood, but instead it marks the brutal murder of her family members. With nowhere else to go, Anna heads into the small village of Litchfield to find family friends, Dermot and ...
- September 20th, 2010, 4:41 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3872
Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane
Hi everyone, Just on a very important note: English isn't my native language, so, there are some obvious mistakes here but I will correct them on further versions (this is a rough draft grammar wise, but almost final plot wise). As always, your help is extremely valuable! Thank you so much! ********...
- September 20th, 2010, 4:36 am
- Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
- Topic: Riding on the Tail of the Devil- synopsis
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3818
Re: Riding on the Tail of the Devil- synopsis
I really liked this story! I think the ending distoned a bit from the rest, I'd leave it out. Also, explaining why Mathias is so dangerous would be good. Is it just because hes a reincarnation of Mathias? If so, I'd put that in a sentence, like. " merely because he is a reinc...." One very...
- September 19th, 2010, 5:30 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY- YA Mystery- Mad as a Hatter
- Replies: 30
- Views: 9827
Re: QUERY- YA Mystery- Mad as a Hatter
Thank you for the help, everyone! - - - The year is 1882, and London is in a state of terror due to a string of brutal murders. Not the best way to enter the Yuletide season. Id start with In 1882, London is..., or something like that When he was a child, a madman kidnapped fourteen-year-old Marqui...
- September 19th, 2010, 5:16 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3009
Re: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
Thank you all so much!
I posted the 7th version, taking 99% of your advices.
Thank you so much (again)!
I posted the 7th version, taking 99% of your advices.
Thank you so much (again)!
- August 27th, 2010, 5:36 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
- Replies: 9
- Views: 3009
Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
All right, so I have a good reason for this: I went crazy on my query and re-did it all. Mostly because I spent a whole morning reading Nathan's every single post about queries, and a 85 pages book about it. Hopefully, it's working a bit better then before. As always, your help means the WORLD to me...
- August 27th, 2010, 5:18 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited
- Replies: 30
- Views: 10698
Re: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited
I like this new version! Janie Lloyd was having a bad day; the hot, humid heat had given her a migraine and she was so bored with life that even tormenting the office junior had lost its fun. On top of this, her mother called to tell her a body had been dug up near Janie’s childhood home; the body o...
- August 27th, 2010, 5:11 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)
- Replies: 16
- Views: 5898
Re: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)
On take 3: For Kenzie Johnson, keeping her mom around just got a lot harder. Kenzie is on a first name basis with her mom. Her mom is never around and she doesn't even try to be--staying alive is more of her priority than being a wife or a mom. It doesn't help that Kenzie is involved with a boy that...
- August 27th, 2010, 5:02 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
- Replies: 30
- Views: 10694
Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Ops! Ok, here's my inputs on the latest version! Dear Agent, Desmoree shale is a feisty fashion photographer living in Belfox, Australia. The death of her mother breaks the spell of protection, revealing her to the seers, and awakening her dormant fairy abilities. A great, great beginning. Desmoree ...
- August 27th, 2010, 4:55 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query -- The Color of Gothic, 2nd Try
- Replies: 14
- Views: 4356
Re: Query -- The Color of Gothic, 2nd Try
Dear Agent XXXXX Jonathan Blair fell from the pulpit to a life of crime. Arrested and convicted for murder, Blair trades his death sentence for a job as a bounty hunter to bring in—dead or alive—the members of his former gang. Now he has two weeks left to find the last man or face execution instead ...
- August 26th, 2010, 8:31 am
- Forum: Procrastination
- Topic: Forum game: Random facts about you
- Replies: 123
- Views: 58260
Re: Forum game: Random facts about you
That was precious! I particularly liked :Until I was 16 I would run and jump the last four feet to my bed so the man hiding under it couldn't grab me feet. Bones is also one of my favourite shows. Okay, so I eat honey with cramambert cheese. It's really good. And I laugh at the most unfunny joke in ...
- August 22nd, 2010, 5:27 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query attempt for DIE AGAIN.
- Replies: 19
- Views: 5654
Re: Query attempt for DIE AGAIN.
Oh HAIL YEAH! This query you´ve just posted on comments (I think its right above my comment) KICKS LE ASS my friend. Seriously! Its way clearer and it pulled me right in, I really liked it!