Nathan Bransford - The Forums

ONCE IN A BLUE MOON prologue Dark Romantic Comedy Adventure 259 words Deep within a non-descript patch of Florida Pine Flatwoods, somewhere mid-state… A young man stumbled from the passenger-side cab of a large, green-camo’d pick-up truck. The man: Sweaty dark hair stuck to his forehead. Gritty, wri...

Hey artrosch, I'm really digging this...it reminds me of a Hiaasen intro. I agree with the idea one poster had about focusing on one of the musicians just a little more than the other...even if we never see him again. I haven't read all the posts and suggestions (I read Nathan's and he seems to real...

Ditto Krista G. and Quill. Other things I noticed: I'd say, "I am a Jack Russell..." instead of was and I kept wanting to call the dog Puck...more accessible, but then I'm a nicknamer. But it seemed like they should. Then again, I once knew a dog named Terrapin and I never called him Terry...

Hey, I sent you a PM because I couldn't get your .docx open, but I don't know that the message went through. (My forum navigational skills are lacking.) Please resend your first three chapters in a .doc. (I tried an XP patch, but no dice.) I'm still looking forward to reading your book! :) Thanks, N...

Hey Becky, My book is/was finished. A loooooong time ago. I'm now tweaking the plot and I hope fixing some things that were bothering me (a couple of underdeveloped characters among them), but it would really light a fire under me to think I needed to get it done so you could look at the (once-again...

Thanks beeboo15, I agree about the pacing and extent of description...and the loss of edginess; but, I was struggling with the heavy-handedness of the voice. (Too much, too little, wrong direction...) I haven't seen FEAST, but will definitely check it out. I'll look at the original again when I've l...

I think that the ones who use the old, "Well, it won't be long 'til you're rich and famous..." or some variant thereof, are really just trying to give encouragement. A little "Rah, rah, good on ya, mate." sort-of-a-thing. Without getting all smushy. Anything kind is good with me....

The latest incarnation: ONCE IN A BLUE MOON Dark Romantic comedy adventure Prologue Deep within a non-descript patch of Florida Pine Flatwoods, somewhere mid-state… A man blew out the end of a long-held breath as he eased from the passenger-side cab of a large, green-camo’ed pick-up truck. The man: ...

Thanks, Down the well! Deep fried...LOL. Y'know, that's somehow far more disgusting:). I particularly like the suggestions for going into an explanation about the profiling thing and saying more about what happened between Hicks and Abercrombie. However, I can't say much more without rewriting all.....

Down the Well, Agh! Color me green...I haven't seen him since last year and he should've been back to The Bookmark in Atlantic Beach by now...I need to check on that. If you didn't grab him, next time I urge you to do so. I was a little starstruck and that's fairly rare for me (but I'm unpublished a...

Down the well, I've gone back and forth with myself on the genre as I've beefed up the adventure (light crime) part of the romantic comedy adventure. Unfortunately, I may have put myself into mainstream (not the best place for establishing a readership.) The crime part and my inclination to write &q...

I'm posting this as a revision, but I'm unhappy with it. A more direct (less flashback-flavored) version I wrote--but didn't post--read better to me. However, it was devoid of voice. Or my usual style, maybe. I guess my voice was still there. Long story short, I'm still completely unhappy with this ...

Hi Wilderness, thanks for the specifics! You made a couple of comments about stereotyping that indicated that I offended you. While I don't want to alienate potential readers, I don't think that using mysoginistic, hateful bumper stickers to characterize someone as a potential bad guy would drive of...

Thanks Wilderness, for the input. It is the narrator in the beginning...and I was feeling it was a bit heavy-handed, no matter who is speaking:) One of my worries. Thought the dialogue was coherent because I'd worked so much on trying to be clear. So, I hope to get more feedback on which parts were ...

Warning: Rated R for violence and cursing Hi. I'm a newbie excerpt poster, so please bear with any first-timer ignorance of The Way Things Are Done. The way the rest of this book is currently set up, I need some version of this scene in the beginning. To remove it would be to remove this character's...