Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I'm busily avoiding making dinner, so let me say that I really like your last version. And how cool to see it change over time. I bet this will hit!
Polly

Just from a rhythmic standpoint, I don't think you need the name of the town. It yanks the reader right out. How about something like "When her new friend John Lanford asks a favor, she's eager to help, since he was a friend of her mother's, too." I wonder if you can make clear the split s...

you bet. I would say here: She fears that seeing him will scrape at the shields of selfhood she has constructed against him, leaving only the battered core of the nine-year-old child he tried to kill in a drunken rage. In addition to arousing painful memories, his return seems to awaken ghosts from ...

Hi! I am very new and I can see that you've been working long and hard on this. Did you know that one of the biggest problems actors have is called "indicating'? They're concerned that just saying the words, living and breathing and being there with their partner won't be enough, so they work v...

NEW TRY: Dear Ms. Agent: Maggie Cooper is smart and lucky. She always makes the right decisions. Then Will shows up after 20 years and changes everything. He’s left flaming footprints in the street and she barely recognizes him; a sensible woman like her should turn him down. Maggie chooses one nig...

rrgh. Here's the deal. It's a fairy tale for grownups but it's not "airy fairy" in any way. Magical Realism. Will and Maggie are the main characters. Will and his two brothers are magic. A long time ago, the oldest brother Charlie took a wedding night that wasn't his. That created a powerf...

Thanks sgf - it's been driving me nuts and I haven't cracked it yet.
I'll keep thinking!
Polly

Dear Agent: Maggie Cooper is smart and lucky; she’s so lucky that her heart is split and she doesn’t even know it. Will shows up one fall night and Maggie takes him in. If Will and Maggie can be together three times, Maggie will be safe and Will can be free of the idiot magic that holds him. Three t...