Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Red means I'd consider cutting , while blue is linked to [a comment] "Three layers of hand-knit sweaters and my gloves protected my skin. I tweaked the silk over my wrists, ensuring that no portion of my flesh was exposed. [tense/cadence feels odd. Since you are talking about clothing, focus o...

"Dear …: OK, red is stuff I'd consider cutting , and blue is linked to [a comment] . “It’s that person’s mission,” he told me. “When someone dies, I believe that [it] means whatever they were put on earth to do is fulfilled—whether it’s to touch people’s lives, inspire a soul, or make a mark—wh...

Red is something I'd consider deleting , and blue text is linked to [a comment] "Thirty-year-old Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was [were] definitely evil. The black and white her parents taught her to see blur to ...

I'm looking for some advice on including academic credentials in a query letter. I'm querying an adult urban fantasy novel, and I don't have any fiction publications so I figured on just leaving that part out. I subsequently read a "why this query got picked" for a fiction piece and the ag...

I've highlighted a few things in blue [and commented on them]. Red means I'd consider cutting. " 100 years of peace between Ordinals (ordinary mortals) and Otherkin races ends on day 101… [A century of peace between Ordinals (ordinary mortals) and Otherkin is at an end.] [Since the death of his...

I've got better now but I still overwrite then chisel back later. I do the same on first drafts. I like having the extra raw material around for that first edit, knowing that I'll toss a lot of it, but probably find a few gems in there I might not have put down if I was going for a 'clean' first dr...

I'd say I'm more introspective than introverted, though I can very much identify with being young and feeling disconnected from the people around me (that's a whole other story). I have a good sized group of close friends that I get along with really well, but I do need more alone time than most peo...

Oi, yeah it can be tricky. I've got a 9-6ish job with an LA commute (OK, so usually ~40 minutes each way). I definitely find myself having to prioritize. I haven't had cable TV in years, which has been a huge benefit for me. If I can keep my netflixs habit under control, and not overdo it on either ...

"Ordinary thirteen-year-old Eric Ortega wakes up surrounded by hospital equipment and covered with a flowered quilt. Before he can figure out what’s going on, a centaur clip-clops in and introduces himself as Eric’s healer. Next, his sister is telling him that he’s been sick, and she married a ...

Interesting stuff. Blue highlights are linked to [comments] and red indicates parts to consider dropping . "Sixteen-year-old Wren is Tainted. Spider-web black scars [Black spider-web scars - as currently written, it sounds like spider-web is a shade of black]mar the other Tainted banished from ...

Nice post Hillsy. One minor quibble: evolution does not prize efficiency. It's all about relative fitness. The 'Red Queen' hypothesis. In fact, many successful organisms have gross inefficiencies that confer big relative advantages. Peacock feathers are a good example. Talk about wasting gobs of met...

Sommer Leigh wrote: Infectious disease*

*I wish Claudie were going with me. They've brought in a professor from...I want to say the University of Michigan but I'll correct myself when I find out for sure...who specializes in viruses. WOOT.

Hagen, Shipple, Chounzet, Elbow - thanks for the feedback. Seems like ya'll hit most of the bits I was struggling with, so I guess that's a good sign ;) . Now lets see if I can clarify what I was aiming for (in no particular order)... Lily being dead - Lily's a vampire, but I don't use the word anyw...

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." William Gibson, Neuromancer . Still my favorite opening line of all time. It encapsulated everything about the world and characters he created. I'm still reminded of it every time it gets cloudy. "It's too ...

I feel like this has split into several overlapping but distinct topics. Could you clarify if you are talking about gluttony, weight/obesity, or both? Additionally, what do you mean by 'silly?' Is the character comedic, or is her demeanor silly but she has serious stuff going on under the surface? I...