Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Is there some industry-wide slowdown I'm not aware of going on right now? About a month ago I got my query to a much stronger place and sent it out to six different agents. Other than a couple "we've received your query" responses, I haven't heard a peep, not even a form rejection. As suck...

Dear Mr. Bransford: If not for the handicap of being only twelve years old, Brock Rockster would be the man’s man to end all men’s men. Brock is daring. He’s quick-witted. He’s adored by the media. He’s a prodigious world champion mustache grower. And until this afternoon, when he falsely accused a ...

Here it is, for the bazillionth time, any help is welcome: Dear Ms. Agentpants: If not for the handicap of being only twelve years old, Brock Rockster would be the man’s man to end all men’s men. Brock is daring. He’s quick-witted. He’s adored by the media. He’s a prodigious world champion mustache ...

Here's a point of confusion for you: I've read in a number of agent's wish (or anti-wish) lists calling for more "boy books". So what in the hell exactly is a boy book? I'm a boy. I've read a number of books. Many of these have appealed to me, and many have not, for a wide variety of reaso...

Gone, Kitty, Gone: A Brock Rockster Mystery Middle-grade mystery/comedy I smashed my steel-toed loafer through the front door and tumbled in, where I landed face-first on the floor of the large, dark foyer. “Worst! Day! Ever!” I yelled. I knew everyone in the house was sleeping, but I didn’t care. I...

Definitely too many fragmented sentences, such as the first sentence of the last paragraph. I'm also still having trouble grasping the main plotline. Is there a plan to fight the villain, or is the only decision reside in staying or going?

Thanks for the help. And while I imagine most people are familiar with the term, here's a nice Urban Dictionary definition: Who is the Man's Man? He's the real class act. He always shaves and wears clothes that fit. He's worldly, educated, and a gentleman. He thinks that buttoned shirts are not just...

Okay okay okay, I really appreciate all the help so far, here's my next crack at it: If Brock Rockster wasn’t just a twelve-year-old two-type prodigy, he’d be the man’s man to end all men’s men. Brock is daring. He’s strong. He’s quick-witted. He’s adored by the media. He’s a world champion mustache...

Wow, that's a fantastic amount of help, I really appreciate it. Anyone else have something to add?

Okay, one more attempt, complete with minor tweaks, in case anyone out there still cares: If not for the handicap of being only twelve years old, Brock Rockster would be the man’s man to end all men’s men. Brock is daring. He’s quick-witted. He’s adored by the media. He’s a prodigious world champion...

I'd post the 'boilerplate basics' of the other paragraphs so we can get a better idea of the flow. As for the meat, it's in need of some work. I'd cut the first sentence, because as far as I've read, agents don't want you listing the themes. As for the rest...it's in need of some expansion. Who is C...

If more people give me feedback on this, I will absolutely give you a high-five if we meet in person. That's a guarantee.

Agreed, this story sounds like it has some heat to it, but an agent is definitely going to want to know more about the story if they're going to request a larger sample. My largest issue is: what are the characters fighting against? You say the crimes in Faith are all seemingly unrelated, so are the...

Okay, to make sure we aren't getting recommendations on the same things repeatedly, here is an updated draft, and thank you so much for the tips!: Dear Ms. Agentpants : Most people would say that Brock Rockster is a prodigy. They’d say that his skills as a celebrated private investigator to the star...

You must have received some solid help, because this is a pretty clean little query. A couple thoughts: I know it says they're elves pretty quickly afterward, but just a few words giving a bit more clarity on how her grandmother was blocking her memories would be helpful, and I'm guessing that given...