Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Well, you all convinced me to read the books. I figured that with so much passion centered around just one set of books, there was no way I couldn't read them. And for that, I thank you. I loved it! And I'll tell you my opinion--the Twilight Saga is such a huge success because it's real. Take away a...

The only time head-popping can get really messy and annoying is when the style of writing is in third limited, but you didn't want to wait for scene breaks to get to a different character's thoughts. Omniscient is the smoothest way to do it. Instead of popping from one head to the other, you are sta...

Howdy ho! Sorry. I just channeled a bit of Mr. Hanky there. My name is Emily. I live in NY, about 20 minutes from Niagara Falls. I've been writing for a few years now. I started a novel fresh out of college (though it wasn't my first attempt, it was the one I had every intention of finishing) and af...

I'm 27 and I started writing my first few attempts at novels on my parents' typewriter when I was about 7 years old. It was horribly tedious because I didn't know how to type (so a sentence took about 15 minutes to get on the page) and any mistakes I made (and there were many) were usually followed ...

Excellent! I was hoping someone would shred it to pieces! Thank you! I'll be back with the revised version soon.

Ooh! Nice! I like the second one especially, Charlee!

Here's mine:

Nathadria, the girl everyone had forgotten, decided to leave Hell.

I like writing fantasy with a twist. My current novel has fairies fighting with energy weapons and traversing the galaxy in space ships. I also have a fantasy/horror flash fiction about sirens on a killing rampage. It's fun and it always keeps me interested.

Updated version, based on feedback Dear (Insert Name): --Personalized (non-creepy) paragraph to connect with agent-- Fifteen out of the seventeen years of Nathadria’s life have been spent in imprisonment, leaving her body a skeletal waste. Years of solitary confinement in an interstellar ship have ...

I'm just going to give you my thoughts without looking at the other comment. If I repeat what was said, I apologize, but it certainly gives you a good idea of what might not work! I've sent out a few queries, but no takers yer. I could use some feedback - thanks - Chris Meg O’Brien has never been w...

I really liked this. Lot's of tension while introducing your characters. I loved it! Maybe someone will be able to give more helpful feedback, but I think this is good.

Changes are in red (there's a lot of red). Dear (Insert Name): --Personalized (non-creepy) paragraph to connect with agent-- Fifteen out of the seventeen years of Nathadria’s life have been spent in imprisonment, leaving her body a skeletal waste. Years of solitary confinement in an interstellar sh...

kayemevans wrote:i think so b/c you name some of the weaponry in the novel.

K

Thanks!

Hey, Nessa! Good for you for taking the plunge! Nathan just moved all critiques over to the All Things Feedback forum yesterday. I'm sure that if you moved this over there, you'd get a few more responses. :)

I forgot to add something to my notes, so I'll just say it here.

I'm trying to equally blend the sense that this is a fantasy with military science fiction elements. Do I do this adequately? If not, any suggestions?

Thanks!

Hi, guys! There seems to be a lot of great advice on these forums, so I thought I'd run this past you guys. Please feel free to be brutally honest. Thanks in advance for your help, it really means a lot. And if you need me to return the favor, just ask. _______________________ Hmmm...let me see...I...