Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Genre: YA Paranormal Romance Queries sent: 9 Rejections: 3 No reply: 5 Requests for partials: 0 Requests for full: 0 Funny, how whenever i got my non-personalized rejections i was happy. a part of my brain said- phew, this isnt just a story sitting in my laptop anymore. another said- one less agent ...

If seventeen-year-old Sharlet Gales had known she was dating the son of the devil, she might have reconsidered. PERFECT BEGINNING- COULDNT HAVE GOTTEN BETTER! After being stalked by him for weeks, Sharlet finally meets Kalav Devilson when she threatens to kill him with the tip of her mascara pen HIL...

Dear (insert wonderful agent of awesomeness), Yora Garver's three best friends aren't human; they're Artificial Living Organisms: a race of intelligent, genetically engineered and fully customizable pets WONDERFUL BEGINNING. But when her parents' sudden arrest puts her ALOs' lives in danger AGAIN- W...

Hi Severus. My suggestions are in capital letters, inserted in your letter. Dear Agent, Sixteen year-old Alex Montoya dislikes children. In fact, he downright hates them COMBINE THE FIRST TWO SENTENCES- 16 YEAR OLD ALEX MONTOYA HATES CHILDREN. But other than babysitting, he's run out of options to m...

Dear Agent’s Name, Deccaura lives a carefree life, exploring her father’s groves in Balla and learning archery with the charming and exotic Piorri. Despite the animosity between their races, Deccaura’s adoration for the low- caste Piorri grows ARE WE TALKING OF THIS TIME? THE MENTION OF LOW CASTE MA...

I know I've already posted a query but I like writing them and I have a lot of stuff written. Thanks in advance and rip it apart. I can take it :D - Thirteen year old Jin wants to conquer the world PERFECT BEGINNING!. She just needs an army.  Jin was banished from her homeland after finding out the...

Dear {agent}, If not remembering your past is bad then Ashalei Callister’s life is about to become hell. Confused about flashbacks she’s been getting that seem like memories, but are from another era; where girls wore corsets and long gowns with their hair done up magnificently. She remembers fight...

Maybe its best to keep it at positive response- e.i both request and offer!

Dear Mr. Bransford, Agora Beckwith can't congratulate herself for being a superhuman- there are just too many like her out there. She can only hide in the shadows and hope that her destiny will lead her to save lives and serve the ultimate purpose of her creation. Being a fire protector doesn't come...

this query is worth sending off immediately!

The title is self explanatory. Wouldnt it be a good idea to post those queries that caught an agent's eye and led to either a pages or full manuscript request? I am sure we can pick a few pointers out of those!

Thanks for everyone's comments! The query has been reworked to something I'm pleased with. I actually had an agent contact me this morning asking for pages - she'd seen my query posted on the AW forums and was intrigued. Could not have gotten there without the help on here, so thanks again! congrats!

I aint a pro at this art, but here are my small suggestions, in capital letters, inserted in your paragraph: He comes from a place where the walls are painted with innocent screams by the people who murdered them VIVID, BUT A BIT TOO HEAVY TO BEGIN WITH—and Sharlet Gales? Well, she loves him IN THE ...

Natasha and android, thank you!

There is a smile on my face for the first time- and its getting wider.

android:
how about I end it like:

When Dave and Agora face the punishment of an untimely end, they have to make a choice- separation and forgiveness or an impending road to doom.

version 4 Agora Beckwith can't congratulate herself for being a superhuman- there are just too many out there like her. She can only hide in the shadows and hope that her destiny will lead her to save lives and serve the ultimate purpose of her creation. Being a fire protector doesn't come with many...