Nathan Bransford - The Forums

This is a song from one of my favorite shows, [title of show]. When I freaked out to my husband recently about some negative feedback on my ms, his response to me was to say, "Die, Vampire, Die." It made me feel better. This is what he was referencing. May it help you in times of need. htt...

This is my latest version of my query. The manuscript is finished and I am editing my synopsis (cringe). As soon as I feel like the synopsis is in shape, I am going to start querying. So... any last minute suggestions and criticism? Thanks so much to everyone who has already given their comments. De...

Thank you guys for your incredible feedback. I've made quite a few changes thanks to lac582's most recent comments. What do you think? “Please,” she whispered, “just watch.” And then Maria let her body relax for the first time in eight years. She released the sickening burn from its black hole in he...

Slight tweaks based on your comments. Hopefully this addresses the lack of tension. Again, thank you. Dear Mr. AGENT, When Maria Black experiences major changes in her life she grows sick and feverish until she bursts into flames. From the fire that consumes her body, a bird rises, takes flight, and...

Thank you guys for the really constructive feedback. Below is my second attempt at writing the synopsis. While I kept a few of my favorite turns of phrase (or ones that received compliments here), it is almost entirely rewritten. Again, thank you in advance for your feedback. “Please,” she whispered...

Thank you guys for all of your incredibly helpful feedback. Here's take two. Let me know what you think... Dear Mr. AGENT, When Maria Black experiences major changes in her life, she grows sick and feverish until she bursts into flames. From the fire that consumes her body, a bird rises, takes fligh...

One good turn deserves another. Hope my comments help. Overall, the story sounds really cool and like something I would want to read. But I think you have the same problem as me -- you are trying to just give intriguing snippets of the story without a lot of flesh but it just leaves readers with a l...

Wow, Jessica Peter, I just have to say thank you. Well, thank you to everyone who has been critiquing and helping me strengthen my query and synopsis. But I'm really quite moved that you took the time to read both my query and synopsis, Jessica. It means a lot to me. I've been in the same boat, tryi...

Thanks in advance for your feedback! Dear Mr. AGENT, Maria Black’s 2,477-day normal streak is destroyed by a song. She hears the latest single from rock star Sam Montgomery on the radio and begins to daydream about him. When Sam and Maria meet and learn that they have each been dreaming of the other...

Any suggestions for what to do when your www.firstnamelastname.com is already purchased?

Well, it seems all of the cliches of synopsis writing are true and I stink at it just like anyone else! It is interesting and somewhat relieving that just about all of the questions posed by jkmcdonnell and ceiser are answered in the ms and I just didn't include them in the synopsis... ...There are ...

Some similar comments, not all. But I thought I would include the similar ones too, so you could get a sense of what is reader subjective and what is more concrete. I know there are lots of notes but it all seems really fixable -- nothing systemic. And for my two cents, you've got a really strong vo...

Thanks blancheking. Brutal but necessary. I think the story is (I hope!) more interesting than the synopsis and that Maria is more empathetic in the story itself. Lots to think about. Lots to work on!

Again, thank you.

Thanks ceiser.

I've got the rules of the world and what makes Maria burn down pretty well in the ms. I was worried about bogging the synopsis down in details so it's good to know that I can add more. Thanks.

Any other questions lingering through or were they really focused on the burn/rebirth?

I'm having a hard time following the plot -- there are a lot of names and an entire new world happening here. Thankfully, your synopsis is really short right now. Give yourself the breathing room to explain a bit more. I'm assuming here that though you posted in "queries" this is really yo...