Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I've been keeping up with this query for a while now but have taken a break from posting, but I think you did a whole HECK of a lot better on this version!! Maybe I need to try the 'put it in a drawer' method of query writing and see if it helps me too. I have just a couple notes, but I think this i...

my head's starting to hurt... i love to write. that's why i'm trying to write something that's publishable. it seems so selfish to spend so much time writing stories just for me. should we just write the story we love best and ignore all else? Or should we listen to advice and nip, tuck, and pimp o...

KappaP, well said. I feel the same way about southerners. Books and movies make southerners into cartoons. Give a man a southern accent and he's evil (the bad guy in the movie Avatar had a southern accent), or he has a crazy family. Haha! My ms is southern fiction, so i've got GAY SOUTHERNERS! In r...

Same struggle for me. I have a gay character in my WIP. Though he is lovingly portrayed, he is effeminate. In other works, my dialogue drawled heavily, or it giggled with squealing girls. In each case I struggled with stereotyping and I have paused when creating the voices for racially, regionally ...

Dear agent, Smoldering, five churches within the Bible Belt are smoldering on Christmas morning because a woman chose her religion over love. this either needs to read "Smoldering. Five churches....." or cut the first smoldering. I would like you to represent my book, The Price of Blasphem...

It's not told by either of them because it can't be. The events have to be viewed objectively and having either of them tell it would subject the events to bias. But in third person, you would be too distant from the action. Having the best friend tell it so far after the fact allows him to a) tell ...

Hey! Alright, I've read through the thread and am here to finally repay you for spending so much time helping me out. Here are my thoughts. It was one of those afternoons, one of those days where the weather outside--what other kind of weather is there, after all?--is suitable for nothing but indoor...

H'OKAY! Thanks all for the help, your suggestions were the bomb dot com. Ink, I particularly paid attention to your suggestion to tie all the abstraction to events-- in this version, I'm hoping you get a clearer sense of the plot layout but still retain a sense of theme and character. Any help is ap...

OOH good catch--- didn't realize Cal didn't earn herself a pronoun in the first paragraph this round. Will work one in, that's definitely a huge necessity. Thanks for the suggestions, makes me think I'm at least getting on the right track.

Okay. I tried doing this again, we'll see how it goes. I don't mean to tease, I just don't want to clutter up the page with unnecessary details. If things seem to vague or teasing, point out to me where because it's honestly hard for me to spot. Cal Painter expects nothing out of Miles, Kentucky. Ri...

Hey Serzen, thanks for the notes! Definitely helps, will be polishing up today. As for golden apples, the dualism is intentional; a core theme of the story is how something we see as the ultimate reward or solution can also be ruinous. More specifically, it looks at the darker consequences of free w...

Gah, I don't think I'll ever figure this out. Out of curiosity, Ink, did you like the version at the top of page 2 better? I just have no idea-- I hate this query when it's super focused on the plot because that's selling the least remarkable thing about the book. The plot is good, don't get me wron...

Okay, I tried to make this more like a blurb and address the audience issue (I don't want it to sound like YA). If all else fails, I'm considering just straight out saying "though the protags are teenagers, the voice and theme are both adult and will connect to fans of X Y and Z." Also, I ...

I think the second way is far better. The problem with the first, in my view (and obviously everyone is different) isn't that anything is bad but that I have no real reason to care about Vitiosus versus his father or anyone else. During that conversation I don't know who I should care about or why. ...

You probably know this, but most agents consider writing the query in the voice of the protagonist (i.e. first person) gimicky and don't go for it. The book itself sounds super interesting, so I just want that to hurt your chances.