Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Maybe a little clarification as to why he is chosen in particular? I might be kinda slow but I'm not really understanding from the second and third paragraph what the stakes are. If you spelled them out a little more clearly maybe I would get it. This isn't my type of book though, I'm not a fan of d...

I'd like to see a bit more characterization. Let me know what the characters are like. You don't have to say much, just give me an adjective or two.

A query letter is recommend queryshark to be no longer than 250 words. I've seen exceptions of course, but only if all of the information is relevant to the story. It should be no longer than 450 words, or a 12pt Times New Roman formatted page. As for the range of YA? I'd say 10-18. It depends but I...

I would probably read this too. Sounds interesting. I just want to know how one can be a half-witch. Can't anyone train to be a full witch, unless it's like the half-bloods/pure-bloods thing in Harry Potter.

Thanks priya, I'm 16 too so I know where you're coming from.

You're very welcome, and good luck.

Thanks for all your help quill, polly, and wilderness. I will definitely try and make the reader feel more sympathy for Summer. And no Polly, I haven't read 'I was a 98 lb duckling' but I like books like that. Reminds me of books by Betsy Byars. I will also try and show that Summer learns a lesson, ...

I tried to bring a bit more sympathy to the table in the last paragraph like you suggested Quill. You think this is any better? Zach and her sister have always included her in everything, but now they are leaving her at home with a babysitter. Summer has reached the peak of her patience, especially ...

It sounded more interesting from Dara's point of view, or at least more original than the general Lifetime plot. But when writing it from Annie's point of view it is more confusing. Why would she be afraid of Dara being her mother? And why would Dara let Michael adopt a child if she knew he was an a...

Look, from an outsiders point of view that comment looked pretty malicious. When you read a query that you think is an unpolished gem, remember back to when you first wrote a query. Wasn't that pretty bad? Try to nicely comment to others and use constructive criticism. If you didn't like that bit a...

Btw, I liked the first version of your query better. Just go through with the changes that HillaryJ suggested and it would be really good. The second reads more Meg Cabot like, while I was getting a more mature vibe from the first.

Sorry but when reading books like this, such as Twilight(no offense), I often wonder why the girl doesn't simply make up her mind. Just pick Marco if she loves him or pick Michael if she has moved on. Why is this so difficult unless she likes stringing guys along, some sort of subconscious desire br...

I see what you're saying now. Do you think a few sentences is good to bring empathy to the table, or just one?

No, I'm saying you should root for her because like most, if not all kids, she wants to be treated like an adult without realizing how difficult being an adult can be. I think I might confused as to what you are asking. You mean because of her childish behavior, what the email thing, that she should...

Why would we be rooting for her to be treated as an adult when she is a child and is acting like one? Because kids who are in gifted or special programs, or just kids who are smart for their age, are often very egotistical and want to be treated like adults, even when they are incapable of acting l...