Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Would love some feedback on my first chapter. :) 1. ROSA It was a slow dust of a day. The earth swirled in mini tornados scratching up the 8 metre walls and slipping back down again. Because in this place there was nothing for the dust to cling to. It skittered across the grass kissing the blades, t...

Thanks to everyone who helped with the critiques. It was great to get different opinions. Now I just have to cross my fingers and pray

Agent is Susan Ginsburg. It's in her hands now!

Just got a full ms request from my original query from Writer's House

GULP!

Dear Rosa has to run, her life depends on it. Another life now depends on her too: The one growing inside her. Resembling the concentric rings of a tree trunk the concrete rings of the Woodlands shoot up out of the ground, tall and menacing. But unlike a tree, the rings don’t mark growth or change; ...

Short and sweet: THE WOODLANDS is the story of Rosa, an impulsive 16-year-old with a smart mouth and a penchant for trouble. She is on the run from an extremely controlling dystopian regime: The Woodlands, the settlement built in Russia by the survivors of World War 5. The Superiors regulate the tow...

Another go..... What do you do when you’ve been forced to skip all the important steps? It’s supposed to go love, marriage baby or something like that. Not: First kiss…fast forward…baby. Rosa’s biggest problem is not that she lives in the cruel and punishing Woodlands, the cluster of concrete compou...

Thanks Good advice. Will take a break and come back to it in a few days.

How does this sound? Rosa’s biggest problem is not that she lives in the cruel and punishing Woodlands. It’s not that the Superiors, the self-proclaimed protectors of the people, kidnapped her and impregnated her using synthesized genetic material. It’s that Joseph and her are different. Where Rosa ...

Thanks. Yes that's exactly it! Just not sure how to word it so it doesn't confuse people. I was disappointed that it sounded like Joseph had raped her. Yikes! This one has no reference to the pregnancy just the journey: The brochure reads: Travel the Great Trans-Siberian Railway. Trip of a lifetime....

Really good!! I reckon MG would suit it.

This is actually the first one I wrote. I thought it might be too simplistic: If she had known this was the day, would she have done anything different? Could she have stopped the horrible events that unfolded before her eyes? Maybe. Probably not. Rosa is a 16-year-old smart mouth with a dangerous a...

Thanks for your input. I feel like I am going around in circles. In Australia they usually ask for a synopsis and sample chapters. It's really hard to know what is the right info to put in and what's not. Heres a more synopissy (I know thats not a word) version but I am sure it is way too long. Foll...

I need help to know if I'm on the right track. Queries aren't big in Australia.

I am currently seeking representation for THE WOODLANDS, my completed young adult, dystopian adventure novel of 82,500 words. The target age range is 13-18 years. Set in the Woodlands, the human settlement built in Russia by the chosen survivors of World War V. Violent, heartbreaking and unashamedly...