Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Many Fantasy novels do need an appendix, I agree, like LOTR. But I think in this digital age of the internets the paper for an appendix could be saved. If it's a case of 'fliping to the appendix to find out what the hell is going on' then the writing could probably be touched up.

I'm at the beach here in Virginia and I've been watching how much the snow has been piling up on the news in those areas not so far away from me. How unfair, though honestly I am glad we dont have to deal with it. As lovely as the snow can be, feet of it seems more like a pain. We got a lot of rain ...

Looks good, don't think there is anything major to add to it.

Something minor: "Christian realizes he needs to go home and apologize for being unfair to Abigail." Can cross out for being unfair and it would flow better. Just a thought.

I think it's time I take a step back from this, as I have been thinking about it and working on it for far too long. My brain is frazzled . I liked the original concept I had been working on, but then I started thinking it was too passive and just wasn't gripping enough. Either way, this is the draf...

Can Klark save his town of Smallvillage from the invading aliens known only as H.A.H.A? Laser gun battles ensue when H.A.H.A.’s bioengineered race of super-vampires kidnap Dan’s mother, Mary Magdalita, who was the only person that could decipher the 2000 year old painting which foretold the coming e...

Hey, Christi IS a huge Star Wars nerd. I'm an all sorts nerd. D&D, Magic the Gathering, Harry Potter role play, comic books, chess, lifelong Trekkie, and dual monitors because I can't get enough of cyberspace in just one... I revel in my geekdom. I have 3 monitors set up and I am trying to find...

Here at the beach it's only raining, which is what it usually does when "The Snow" is forcast. We did get snow last week which was a surprise, but I don't expect to see anything other than rain this week. No winterland fun for me.

Very well done. I have only a few small things to point out, otherwise I think its very good. I'm hoping to tighten the screws even more on my query, I present to you what I hope is my final version. So if you all give me your 2 cents worth, Ill make sure to give you change in return!!! Thank you al...

Wow, I like it! I couldn't find anything I would change about it. Good job and good luck!

Hi, Tycoon. I've been trying to stay away from the queries which already have a lot of comments, as to not add so many (confusing) opinions to the mix, but you commented in mine which I thank you for. It seems, from what I've read, that your query has come a long way. I really like it. *************...

Personally I found it very helpful whenever someone showed me how they would change/reword my query... Wow. When someone rewords my writing, I violently spasm. I like different perspectives, it opens doors that I hadn't seen before. To each thier own, I guess. Christi, don't think you're annoying a...

I meant to say something similar to what Dankrubis said in his preface. You are going to get a lot of opinions here, but it doesnt mean you have to use them all and change your query with each one. Personally I found it very helpful whenever someone showed me how they would change/reword my query, b...

Dear Great and Noble Agent of Oz, Hurled into the future twenty years, young Jakorus is confronted with a horrifying truth: his world has changed, and it’s his fault. The hook is good and makes me want to read more His older self, haggard and worn beyond his years, warns against the seductive power...

Again, thanks to everyone for such great help. Kirril- It was a frame, and it didn't flow well at all, which was why I didn't want to use it in the first place. Thanks for your suggestions, if you have a query up and want my input, let me know. I'm trying to go through and critique others as I get t...

Here is a stab at your query. I read briefly through some of the above, but I will focus on what you have here. Dear Agent Who Wishes I'd Stop Wasting Your Time, Hurled into the future twenty years, young Jakorus is confronted with a horrifying truth: the world has changed, What world? It makes me w...