Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Alas, I can't tell you my password for analysis, because it is so secure, even I don't know it! My little auto thingy just takes care of all that for me. If it ever goes Skynet on me, I'm up a creek...

Thanks again

The central plot is Sakura and Kazuki's relationship. The murder referenced doesn't occur until nearly 3/4s into the story, so I'm thinking now I might need to drop the subplot of his brother all together from the query, and focus just on them?

Thanks to both of you :-) Here is a revised version. In addition to the romance between the two characters, and Kazuki's issues with his brother, Sakura makes a few friends at school due in part to Kazuki's presence in her life. However, I'm not sure if I should try to squeeze that in, or focus most...

Thanks :-) I didn't even catch that the phrasing in the first paragraph could imply it was coming. She was attacked as a child, leaving her organs permanently damaged. The core plot is their romance, with the secondary plot being Kazuki's issues with his brother. I was worried it might sound too sus...

Hmmm....I'm not sure what a lot of the first bit is supposed to tell me. I'd drop it and get straight to the story, which seems to start with Taylor. You are probably including it, but its worth noting to have a personal greeting: "Dear [Agent Name]," even in email queries. :-) I'm current...

Revised version below Okay....guess I've thrown out enough advice so should take a bit of my own medicine :D Here be the query for Aisuru. Dear [Agent Name], At the age of ten, Sakura Takeshi was handed a prolonged death sentence at the hands of a maniac with a knife. Now eighteen and in her final ...

I second Brenda's suggestions for the first paragraph. I also must admit, seeing "Of course, the more she uses them, the faster she becomes a lunatic." made me go "Oh, now that does sound interesting!" The only other thing I might suggest adding is something, maybe near the start...

Hmmm...honestly, I'd say this one is a big step backward from your previous query. Tag lines and rhetorical questions are generally a no no, and there is very little on the plot of this book. The rest really doesn't give me any clarity on what the plot is about. All of the stuff added to the closing...

Another option to offer some privacy at an affordable rate is to get a mail box from the USPS or the UPS store. Not very expensive, and can be very convienient if you move regularly or to keep "personal" separate from "business." If you use it purely for your author related stuff...

Nope, other than making sure to pick a reputable place, you can register your domain with anyone. Hosting and domain registration are separate things :-) So if you aren't ready to make the site yet, but want to reserve the domain, you can go ahead and register it with any registrar, like GoDaddy. Th...

Just started Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded August 27, 1883 by Simon Winchester....I'm in a non-fic kick lately

Yes, you can acquire the domain now, and just park it. Also, many hosting companies offer what is called a "WYSIWYG" builder for websites that offers point and click web site building. Go Daddy has one as well, though I think it just does a single page. Another option is installing an appl...

Basically the agent is asking for partials with the query. Since your chapters are short, send the first 50 or so, making sure you don't stop mid-chapter. So if page 50 is one page into chapter 8, just send the first 7, but its most of the way through 8, send all 8.

Over all, I think you've got some good bones here, but I also found myself a bit confused about things. Particularly with the kingdoms being "Solar" and 'Lunar" but not living on the Sun and Moon respectively. Dear [Agent], Generations of war ended when Chandi's cousin Aji married the...

To set up a web site, you need a hosting company to provide you with space. I personally use and love HostNexus. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, out there to choose from. :-) Which one to go with depends on your needs in terms of space, monthly transfer, and necessary technologies. A...