Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hi, rainbowsheeps! Been meaning to come back and offer up just one little piece of feedback. First, though, I want to say that I think this is very nearly it. The only thing, and I know the "only" thing before was really minor and probably only me, but this time, the only thing is the way...

This is the query that I sent out to about 20 agents. So far, have received mostly automatic e-mail responses saying the agent contacts only if they are interested, one was a personal response saying though it seemed like a strong project she didn't think it fit with her list of editorial contacts ...

I'm making this topic so there's a place to discuss responses from the Tester thread. The second thread is necessary so that side conversations aren't started and clutter up the thread. Also, this topic can be used to discuss any suggestions or criticisms you might have about the tester thread. For ...

In this case I was mystified and put off by the attached Erich Fromm material. Is this some kind of joke? Um, I think you're responding to the wrong query? Note that Steppe uh... rewrote my query in the way he saw fit and attached that information. The query that's being considered is the second po...

Thanks again luner! :) To answer your question, it's only Adam who has the dreams. Cherith doesn't. I had it in a previous query, but she actually just wants Adam to promise he won't hurt himself if she dies. Okay, so it might look like I changed one word then tacked on an ellipse and a few words to...

Doesn't plunder mean "to take by force or wrongfully"? So a plundered lab would mean someone WANTS his research for themselves, not destroy it? Or did I misinterpret what a word means again? The word is used correctly. I suppose I should have said his work was stolen instead, then. My mis...

Query #3 - Revised Gabriel Clarkson's mother dedicated her existence to studying life extinguished, and the vestiges left behind by the great ancient Maya. (When you say "life extinguished," one might think you mean all extinct life, including animals. It personally made me think of all a...

Hi, rainbowsheeps! Thanks for your reply. Actually, Mai isn't competing in the contest. Only Jav and Mei are (from the 18 Heavenly Claws school, anyway). There are 62 other participants, (mostly) top students from other schools, who we see through the qualifying match and the final competition. The...

Both his chances of winning Evelyn's trust and keeping his promise to Cherith seem to be slipping away. But Adam desperately wants to believe his dreams are showing him a way they by they, do you mean Evelyn and Cherith? Or just one of them? Who? can be together forever, in a world much prettier No...

First, thanks for the detailed feedback, quill and rainbowsheeps! I feel like I'm getting closer, and rainbosheeps your encouraging words are like a balm, but that last paragraph is going to kill me yet. The problem is that the story is all about the 5 years leading up to the competition and then t...

This is my second time to post my query for feedback. This one is much better than my last, but must need polishing since I have not had any takers from my submissions. I'm looking for kind, constructive critisism - Thanks -Chris48 As a Massage Therapist, Meg O’Brien is in the business of making pe...

I'm taking the plunge... the query stage is approaching very fast for me, I've been working on it for months (on and off) trying to perfect it and my pitch... I've exhausted my resources at this time now. Thank you so much for your feedback! _________________________________________________________...

So! Since no one's went so far, I'll start. I haven't actually queried any agents yet, and don't intend to for a few weeks at least, but I'm curious to see how people respond to this idea. If no one posts any responses, or no one wants to post their own query after mine gets critiqued, I'll know it ...

Disclaimer: I was interested in trying something new. I don't know if this belongs in the "Queries" forum. I don't know if I'm even allowed to make this thread. I felt like it might be a new opportunity for a slightly different type of feedback. But, please, feel free to delete or move th...

I seem to collect brilliant lines like others are collecting these stupid state quarters. Watch out, I think over-inflation of ego is the leading cause of career death in literary fiction writers. Dear $Agent, BROKEN MIRROR is a 45,500 word work of literary fiction. Thematically similar to Charlott...