Search found 100 matches

by ryanznock
April 25th, 2010, 4:44 pm
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: Lost - Possible Spoilers!
Replies: 261
Views: 60611

Re: Lost - Possible Spoilers!

I just wanted to mention this. I work at Emory University, where Salman Rushdie is a professor, and right now we have an exhibit at our library, A World Mapped by Stories, about his books. One of the displays is a wall map with an artist's rendering of the world as it is presented in Rushdie novels....
by ryanznock
April 8th, 2010, 4:34 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Help me find agency that in March posted on its site ...
Replies: 1
Views: 571

Help me find agency that in March posted on its site ...

Could you help me find agency that in March posted on its site that it wanted new science fiction -- less space ships and aliens, more near-future sorta stuff. I can't recall what agency it was. Does anyone know?

Thanks.
by ryanznock
March 29th, 2010, 2:33 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 5 pages - MEETING OF THE WATERS
Replies: 11
Views: 2621

Re: First 5 pages - MEETING OF THE WATERS

Thanks for the comments, even if they are a tad worrying. I think I'll add in the rest of the chapter (highlighted in blue) for those willing to take a look. I get that there's a lot of combat, but I was striving for over-the-top Hong Kong action flick style, where sometimes it's alright to just hav...
by ryanznock
March 29th, 2010, 1:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
Replies: 37
Views: 6161

Re: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3

GeeGee, the current revision works for me, and I definitely get the vibe of, as you put it early in the thread, a 'love story,' not a 'romance.' I would consider danielsmi's suggestions a few posts up to tweak some of the language, but the heartbreak comes across strongly in just a few sentences, so...
by ryanznock
March 29th, 2010, 1:05 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Tracking down conferences or other ways to bump into agents
Replies: 5
Views: 1100

Tracking down conferences or other ways to bump into agents

Are there any good sites that list writers conferences? In particular, I'm in Atlanta, and it seems that aside from Dragon*Con for sci-fi/fantasy geeks like me, all the big conferences are either up north or out west.

Thanks.
by ryanznock
March 29th, 2010, 12:54 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Have we talked about world building?
Replies: 10
Views: 3013

Re: Have we talked about world building?

I've got a lot of experience with world-building thanks to twenty years of D&D and other roleplaying games. Most of my early never-should-see-light-of-day novels were fantasy, and I fiddled around with the same fantasy setting for a long time, constantly revising things to purge cliches and make stu...
by ryanznock
March 29th, 2010, 12:21 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Isabella Vampirella (EVIL EDITOR response at end)
Replies: 36
Views: 5755

Re: Query- Isabella Vampirella REVISED

Dear Agent, Eight year old Ysabela just knows her life will be perfect once she finally gets her fangs! (I think the exclamation point can work; it makes me envision an extra adorable teeny vampire kid.) She’s thrilled to be starting the third grade with her friends Betha, a witch, and Jack, a were...
by ryanznock
March 28th, 2010, 9:12 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sample Page, extra eyes needed
Replies: 32
Views: 5148

Re: Sample Page, extra eyes needed

Serzen, that sounds really interesting (and, dare I say it, cool). It looks hard as hell to pull off, but I'd definitely like to read more of it if you're looking for feedback.
by ryanznock
March 28th, 2010, 9:07 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: I AM ANNA - First Five Pages
Replies: 6
Views: 1840

Re: I AM ANNA - First Five Pages

It's hard to put my finger on what isn't working, but it doesn't feel raw enough to be believable as the perspective of a girl at her sister's funeral. You use sentence fragments a bit ('The same bright green eyes...' or 'Watching me, just like a group of hungry vultures.'), and maybe you're going f...
by ryanznock
March 26th, 2010, 6:33 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Natural Selection, Part Two: NOW CLOSED
Replies: 10
Views: 2012

Re: Query: Natural Selection (Mystery) Part Two

Natural Selection is a 100,000-word mystery that follows Dragan Sakic, an ER physician with a troubled past. When he agrees to have a child with his girlfriend, thoughts of his childhood molestation flood his mind and he does what he’s always done. He hides in his protective shell. First question, ...
by ryanznock
March 26th, 2010, 6:17 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sample Page, extra eyes needed
Replies: 32
Views: 5148

Re: Sample Page, extra eyes needed

I like the spareness of the first two segments you shared, but I could only take so much. It works as a hook, but I don't think I'd want to read a whole book from that perspective. If you were writing in present tense, I could see switching from 'normal' style with colorful descriptions to a more ba...
by ryanznock
March 26th, 2010, 5:17 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 5 pages - MEETING OF THE WATERS
Replies: 11
Views: 2621

Re: First 5 pages - MEETING OF THE WATERS

Leitmotif - a recurring musical theme, associated with a particular person, place, or idea. Basically, theme music. Loa - spirits of the Voodoo religion, somewhat akin to saints or angels in Christianity. And Jaime only started playing after Chel broke up with him. The explanation for why comes up i...
by ryanznock
March 26th, 2010, 2:50 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 5 pages - MEETING OF THE WATERS
Replies: 11
Views: 2621

First 5 pages - MEETING OF THE WATERS

Edit: I've posted an updated first 5 pages later in this thread - http://forums.nathanbransford.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=1111&p=12130#p12130 I'm very close to sending out my modern fantasy novel, MEETING OF THE WATERS, to agents and publishers, and I would love to get some reader responses to the f...
by ryanznock
March 26th, 2010, 12:23 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query critique: Ether, paranormal romance--revised
Replies: 11
Views: 2285

Re: Query critique: Ether, paranormal romance--revised

It's intriguing, though I'm not normally a paranormal romance reader. I will say, the opening line at first made me think she was unconscious, and only existed as a night being. If she has both a waking and sleeping life, you might want to clarify that. Also, does the sister's death tie in somehow? ...