Search found 79 matches

by EvelynEhrlich
July 14th, 2010, 10:21 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 5200

Re: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Thanks, WilliamMJones. Regarding whether there's anything to keep the Sentries from trying again, you're right: the short answer is no, it's a temporary peace built on shaky trust (since Scott is, supposedly, Helene's friend). But then the portal burns down anyway, so it's moot.
by EvelynEhrlich
July 14th, 2010, 6:35 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 5200

Re: Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

REVISED SYNOPSIS - I added in more detail about the climax, but I'm not sure if it's clear what the secret society is about. Thoughts? Thank you! Seventeen-year old Helene Jacobsen is usually alone when she visits her mom's grave, but not today. Something stirs on the drought-plagued hill just outsi...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 14th, 2010, 6:12 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 5200

Re: Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Quill, to answer your questions: - you're right, the opening scene is more Helene-following-him-out-of-curiosity, less "hot pursuit." - you cracked me up with "lest he be travelling just from a decade." He's from 1860 -- the year, not the decade. - Agreed, the phrase "childhood crush" is confusing, ...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 14th, 2010, 1:26 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Tips for Dialogue Among Multiple Characters?
Replies: 21
Views: 3664

Tips for Dialogue Among Multiple Characters?

Does anyone have tips for writing dialogue among multiple characters (beyond the standard dialogue rules, such as minimizing dialogue tags, etc.) I have a few places in my WIP where three or four characters speak in a scene, and I don't want to litter the page with dialogue tags. Sometimes I include...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 14th, 2010, 1:20 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 5200

Re: Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Quill - As always, your comments are golden. Thank you so much!
by EvelynEhrlich
July 13th, 2010, 11:10 pm
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: SYTYCD
Replies: 4
Views: 798

SYTYCD

Anyone else out there a So You Think You Can Dance fan? All writing comes to a standstill on Wed night for me (Top Chef and SYTYCD! Embarrassment of riches!)

Any predictions for who will win SYTYCD? My bet is on Kent Boyd, now that Alex Wong is out.
by EvelynEhrlich
July 13th, 2010, 4:36 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sample from Crisis of Conscience
Replies: 3
Views: 925

Re: Sample from Crisis of Conscience

whizzkid - The opening paragraph is gripping, and then I feel cheated when I find out he's at the dentist. I think you'll have to be careful with that, because you might lose your reader's trust too quickly, which is too bad because they won't get further down the page to the exciting revelation tha...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 13th, 2010, 4:25 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 5200

Re: Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

WilliamMJones - thanks for the input. I'll add more detail about the secret society and how Helene and Leo outsmart them. I'm not sure what to do about explaining how Leo recognizes Lena/Helene in the first place, but I'll tinker with it. sarahdee - thanks, I think I deciphered where the strikethrou...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 13th, 2010, 4:22 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Prologue to TIMELESS (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 10
Views: 1848

Prologue to TIMELESS (YA Paranormal Romance)

Hi all, Here is the prologue to my YA paranormal (if you'd like, you can read the query in the Query Forum). I know lots of people don't like prologues, but a reputable freelance editor recommended that I begin my story with one. It's told by Leo, a nineteenth century prince. Any feedback is much ap...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 12th, 2010, 4:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: I'm A Nobody, newest on page four
Replies: 34
Views: 5780

Re: I'm A Nobody, YA Fantasy (2nd draft on page 2)

William, The query has gotten even more interesting! I'm glad you clarified the bit about the Source and how Dominic could die, since he's half-Fey. Only suggestion to make it clearer, still, is to add a sentence explaining that the humans want to get their hands on/destroy the Source (which you exp...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 12th, 2010, 4:26 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 5200

REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

REVISED SYNOPSIS - further down on this thread (still page 1, I believe). Thanks for all the feedback so far! ------------------------------------------ Thanks to everyone who commented on my query letter. I'm tinkering with this 2 page synopsis (ugh! synopses are so hard!) and would really apprecia...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 12th, 2010, 3:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 8
Views: 1309

Re: Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Thanks, FK7! Very helpful, indeed.
by EvelynEhrlich
July 11th, 2010, 11:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 8
Views: 1309

Re: Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Thanks for all the helpful thoughts, everyone! I'm revising the query, but keep the comments coming!
by EvelynEhrlich
July 11th, 2010, 11:47 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Princess of Swans: first page critique (epic fantasy)
Replies: 5
Views: 1169

Re: Princess of Swans: first page critique (epic fantasy)

Hi Elsinora, I think your sense of pacing is good, but for an opening scene, you spend too much time with the protagonist lounging in bed. If you want to start in media res , I'd suggest cutting the first 8 paragraphs and starting with Noor rushing into MC's bedroom and announcing that a corbie has ...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 11th, 2010, 6:08 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: I'm A Nobody, newest on page four
Replies: 34
Views: 5780

Re: I'm A Nobody, YA Fantasy (2nd draft on page 2)

William, this query is looking really great after your revisions. I definitely want to know more! Just a few suggestions: Dear (Agent name): Dominic Taylor is able to do strange things, such as opening locked doors and passing by security cameras undetected. But he's never been able to explain his p...