Search found 19 matches
- March 24th, 2010, 8:15 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Natural Selection. CLOSED: NO NEED TO COMMENT
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3806
Query: Natural Selection. CLOSED: NO NEED TO COMMENT
I can't tell up from down and right from left anymore. Help me. I thank you in advance. In life, Salt Lake City’s district attorney and Dragan Sakic never met. When the DA dies, Dragan comes to know him as one knows a close friend. Some people might say they were brought together by an act of God. ...
- February 12th, 2010, 4:15 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Thriller Query (Genre, that is). Open to Suggestions!
- Replies: 18
- Views: 9938
Re: Thriller Query (Genre, that is). Open to Suggestions!
This is really good, I agree with the others. The only place I see that may need improvement is this paragraph. Each clue will draw Cameron and Kyle closer together, and together they will need to find out whether the voice speaking from the grave is dangerously evil … or will solve all the mysterie...
- February 12th, 2010, 4:09 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 5216
Re: Query up for critique
You need to expand on this. It is too short, IMO, and therefore feels rushed. This is the most important part, so shorten everything else you have in the query that didn't appear here and use the word count to give the agent more to judge your story. Make us care about the protagonist. Why is it imp...
- February 12th, 2010, 3:54 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: A page to ponder; literary fiction
- Replies: 24
- Views: 10282
Re: A page to ponder; literary fiction
Good work. Intriguing and creepy setting at the same time. For me, a major thing is missing, and that's a protagonist. It seems the antagonists can be implied, but who tells the story? What are the stakes for the protag? Without a mention of characters, it's difficult to feel invested in what happen...