Search found 111 matches

by Ermo
May 13th, 2010, 10:23 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Does your setting own you?
Replies: 9
Views: 1605

Re: Does your setting own you?

I have the opposite problem I think. I'll write and write and write and then my alpha and beta readers will say, I like the story but I have no idea where they are, what things look like, what season it is, etc... I end up with 50,000 word books with almost no setting and then I have to go back and ...
by Ermo
May 12th, 2010, 11:30 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Short excerpt from current literary fiction book
Replies: 4
Views: 1216

Re: Short excerpt from current literary fiction book

Thanks Camille for taking the time to read and comment on this excerpt. I would say that my primary weakness as a writer is that when I'm not writing dialogue, I tend to get a little too narrator-y if that makes sense. I need to work on showing some other character-revealing details. Thank you for v...
by Ermo
May 12th, 2010, 10:37 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Knowledge (working title) - opening 1,120 words
Replies: 12
Views: 2405

Re: Knowledge (working title) - opening 1,120 words

I have not been about much, and for that I apologize. RL has been dragging me down and kicking me for fun. Anyway, I was hoping to get some bit of feedback on the opening chapter of my novel. I welcome all comments and critiques of my work and I vow to also lend my own feedback to the community. Th...
by Ermo
May 12th, 2010, 10:09 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Man Who Did Too Much opening - Mystery
Replies: 6
Views: 1028

Re: The Man Who Did Too Much opening - Mystery

This is the opening 5 pages of The Man Who Did Too Much, which is a cozy/suspense mystery. ***** Chapter 1 Doctor Cannon was running late. She dashed in through the waiting room entrance, but found the room was empty. "Is Gwen here yet?" she asked the receptionist. "Not yet." Gwen Littleton was alw...
by Ermo
May 10th, 2010, 3:50 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: My first partial request
Replies: 29
Views: 4040

Re: My first partial request

Fantastic and congrats! I hope you share what happens next. Good luck!
by Ermo
May 5th, 2010, 2:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for FURY (HELP!!!) (New version)
Replies: 11
Views: 1802

Re: Query for FURY (HELP!!!)

It's strange... I can usually figure out what isn't working in other people's queries, but I flounder when it comes to my own. This query is bleh. I like some of the syntax, but the sentence structure seems too uniform and I'm not sure the plot is coming through, or, if it is, it isn't intriguing e...
by Ermo
May 5th, 2010, 11:24 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Tools in your Writing Toolbox
Replies: 6
Views: 1156

Re: Tools in your Writing Toolbox

Raymond Carver uses a device in the dialogue of "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." One character mentions something in conversation that sparks another character to go off on a tangent. After a time, the first character says, " well anyway, about...whatever he was originally talking abou...
by Ermo
May 4th, 2010, 1:18 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: What are you reading now?
Replies: 520
Views: 133159

Re: What are you reading now?

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibson.
by Ermo
May 4th, 2010, 12:33 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Strunk & White... what do you think of them?
Replies: 18
Views: 3314

Re: Strunk & White... what do you think of them?

Reading this thread, I'm reminded of Cormac McCarthy, who said he preferred "simple, declarative sentences," would never use a semicolon, never used quotation marks and said he saw no reason to "block the page up with weird little marks."
by Ermo
May 4th, 2010, 12:22 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Short excerpt from current literary fiction book
Replies: 4
Views: 1216

Short excerpt from current literary fiction book

Hi all. I'm posting this short portion from my current project. Enid is an 11-year old girl who has just been caught stealing garbage from the landlord. The landlord writes for a hobby and Enid has been his discarded book pages as inspiration for her own writing. Oh, and she's curious too. The creak...
by Ermo
May 4th, 2010, 12:12 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Tools in your Writing Toolbox
Replies: 6
Views: 1156

Tools in your Writing Toolbox

I don't know about you guys but whenever I pick up a new author, I almost always learn a new way to write. I try and make a mental note of the tool they used. What are some of your favorite tools? Mine: Internal Dialogue ( Did he just wink at me? I think he winked at me. ) Flashback ( His brother ha...
by Ermo
May 4th, 2010, 11:03 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Does this opening hook you? *Jelly Beans for replies!
Replies: 24
Views: 3433

Re: Does this opening hook you? *Jelly Beans for replies!

Updated Revision for you guys to rip at!! Thanks for all the critique this far! Vitiosus was escorted out into the centre of the village square. Quelling his nervousness and apprehension, he strived to appear cool and unemotional. His father’s glare burned into his back. He knew he had no choice: k...
by Ermo
April 30th, 2010, 1:22 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Write a query before you're done with the book?
Replies: 25
Views: 6900

Re: Write a query before you're done with the book?

Yes, when I asked the question, I was just asking if people found it helpful to write the query BUT NOT SEND IT until the book is finished. It seems many people think it is helpful so I tried. Writing queries is hard. Like hitting Tim Lincecum hard. It is, however, really helpful for the book. I fee...
by Ermo
April 30th, 2010, 12:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Mallory's Story- Rip it apart. :D
Replies: 13
Views: 2019

Re: Query Mallory's Story- Rip it apart. :D

Dear Mr. Awesome Agent, Sometimes the dead haunt the living, and sometimes, the living hurt the dead. Yeah, my first instinct is that this is physical hurt and you have to change my mind. That's probably not a good way to start. For a wandering spirit named Mallory Richards, every day hurts. She ca...
by Ermo
April 30th, 2010, 12:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: SF Query: THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION
Replies: 45
Views: 7057

Re: SF Query: THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION

Thanks for all the great feedback! It's been very helpful. Below is an older version of the query, but maybe it's a better direction to go in. I think it addresses some of the points brought up, but isn't quite right yet. Thanks in advance for all your help! ------ Dear Agent, The only thing Jav Ho...