Search found 28 matches

by Kirril
March 15th, 2010, 3:52 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Rejection: how do you know if it's the idea or the query?
Replies: 11
Views: 1778

Re: Rejection: how do you know if it's the idea or the query?

It's all so very subjective that if I could underline "very" twice, I would. Before you even write a novel, here's what I'd do. Write a logline, i.e. the general gist of the story that's in your mind. I.e. Overweight baseball player clones famous golf player in a bid to rule the world and win the he...
by Kirril
February 26th, 2010, 2:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3598

Re: Kill My Query Mk-IV

Bingo, my friend! That's exactly what I'm going for because it's what *sells*. Nine books of every Ten I read are the same plot rehashed with different characters, timelines, and authors. In any case, you read the wrong version which is a couple of posts above this. Also: No. Thanks! GIT'M: Thanks f...
by Kirril
February 22nd, 2010, 3:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3598

Re: Kill My Query Mk-IV

Well, so far no luck with my queries. I sent an earlier version to a small batch of agents last november. I sent the last version to a small batch over the last month. Neither version has gained requests for anything. I'm beginning to think my query and its predecessor don't go enough into the urban...
by Kirril
February 3rd, 2010, 2:57 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: The literary agent is also a practicing author - say what?
Replies: 63
Views: 8940

Re: The literary agent is also a practicing author - say what?

No shirt, no shoes, no service. In other words, businesses are generally able to conduct business and refuse service on their own terms unless it breaks the law. Her agency is a business. She's taking a calculated risk that she won't miss out on something great from someone who doesn't use email. On...
by Kirril
February 3rd, 2010, 2:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4288

Re: The Ghost Posts a Query - 2nd try

When twenty-year-old Jodie Belay kidnaps a young girl, she believes she is saving the child’s life. So does the FBI agent secretly watching Jodie. Jodie possesses an odd form of ESP. An eerie hum fills her ears and she is overcome by criminal urges. Two years ago, she smashed into another car at the...
by Kirril
February 3rd, 2010, 1:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Valley and the Shadow - new version page 3
Replies: 26
Views: 4462

Re: Query: The Valley and the Shadow

Dear Agent, Lucinda d’Auvergne slept for twenty years. As a vampire, when the weight of a cursed existence had become too heavy it only seemed natural to let oblivion consume her mind. After waking in a strange yet familiar New York, she recounts her tormented past. Is this a frame? In other words, ...
by Kirril
February 3rd, 2010, 12:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Time Tourism again, just when you thought it was over
Replies: 57
Views: 7869

Re: Query Time Tourism Revised Fifth Time (please don't hate me)

Dear Great and Noble Agent of Oz, Hurled into the future twenty years, a young Bryzintan named Jakorus is confronted with a horrifying truth: the world has changed, and it’s his fault. His older self, surprisingly haggard for one so young, warns him about the dangers of trying to change what has ha...
by Kirril
February 3rd, 2010, 11:15 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Butterfly Key- revision now on page 6
Replies: 56
Views: 6981

Re: Query -- The Butterfly Key -- 1st revision

After reading both versions, I think the one without the frame is better because it's the primary focus of the story from what I can understand. From what little I know of frame stories, you need to take the one that's most prevalent in the book, unless of course it's something like The Neverending ...
by Kirril
February 2nd, 2010, 4:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3598

Re: Kill my Query Mk-2

Alrighty, here's the latest version. Thanks so much to everyone who's commented. I more or less kept the initial blurb intact with a few minor tweaks. The 2nd paragraph I borrowed heavily from Ghost ITM, aka GIT'M and Yoshima. I'm still rather displeased with my third 'graf, i.e. the one in which th...
by Kirril
January 29th, 2010, 3:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4288

Re: The Ghost Posts a Query - Yikes and Away!

Alrighty, my turn, eh? When twenty-year-old Jodie Belay kidnaps a young girl, she believes she is saving the child’s life. So does the FBI agent watching Jodie. This hook is good, but it could be juiced up a bit. Does Jodie know she's being watched? After reading this Q 3 times, I can't decide if s...
by Kirril
January 28th, 2010, 4:12 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: What are you writing now?
Replies: 69
Views: 11399

Re: What are you writing now?

I'm writing a very dark angsty murder mystery picture book for children.
by Kirril
January 27th, 2010, 4:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3598

Re: Kill my Query

Thanks for the suggestions! You all have definitely brought out some details that escaped my eye. I've written several versions of this query, so I'm curious to get your reactions from one of my other blurbs. If you think it works better, let me know. Since the murder of his parents a year ago, twen...
by Kirril
January 26th, 2010, 5:28 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3598

Kill My Query Mk-IV

SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATED QUERY

I've taken a break from this query for a while. It's been through the wringer already, but I want to give it another thrashing before loosing it into the wild.

Thanks!