Search found 89 matches

by Ghost in the Machine
February 3rd, 2010, 12:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: "View From The Edge of the World" Query
Replies: 19
Views: 3104

Re: "View From The Edge of the World" Query

Hi Seadhlinn, Thanks for your comments on my query. Let me return the favor! Dear Awesome Agent, I am seeking representation for my first novel, A VIEW FROM THE EDGE OF THE WORLD, a 80,000 work of fiction, where multiple generations of a Nova Scotian family struggle to balance tradition, responsibil...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 3rd, 2010, 11:31 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3500

Re: Kill My Query Mk-III

Hi Kirril! GIT’M here. Boy, that’s a fitting nickname—I love it. Let’s see what we’ve got here. I am seeking representation for my urban fantasy novel of approximately 95,000 words, NO DARKER FATE. Warning: While some agents like a specific request for representation, others say, “Waste of words! Qu...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 2nd, 2010, 10:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4187

Re: The Ghost Posts a Query - 2nd try

Okay, here attempt No. 2. I hope it is less confusing. Dear Agent X, When twenty-year-old Jodie Belay kidnaps a young girl, she believes she is saving the child’s life. So does the FBI agent watching Jodie. Jodie possesses an odd form of ESP. An eerie hum fills her ears and she is overcome by crimin...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 30th, 2010, 10:32 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Looking for a little help on getting started
Replies: 11
Views: 1831

Re: Looking for a little help on getting started

I read the Guide to Literary Agents Editor's Blog--after reading Nathan's blog, of course! The agent interviews contain what they like, dislike, have sold recently, and how to submit. Even if the agent is not a good match, you can surf through their agency website for other agents. You can also goog...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 30th, 2010, 10:05 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Butterfly Key
Replies: 13
Views: 2072

Re: Query - The Butterfly Key

Hi Tycoon, After I read your query, I had the same reaction as some of the other folks. If this lady already has children, what’s with all the devastation? Then I had to get out of my chair to properly kick myself. I know couples that have gone through this. You have a golden opportunity here, writi...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 30th, 2010, 2:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4187

Re: The Ghost Posts a Query - Yikes and Away!

Thanks Kirril and Yoshima! You guys have been awesome. I've got some serious thinking to do. Clearly this compact query is too confusing. (Alliteration alert!) I would love to tackle it now, but I have two young ghostlings who pretty much own me when they're not at school. Have a great weekend all! ...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 29th, 2010, 2:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4187

Re: The Ghost Posts a Query - Yikes and Away!

Thanks, Justine and Dankrubis, for your comments! You gave me lots to ponder for my next version.

Ghost in the Machine
by Ghost in the Machine
January 29th, 2010, 9:49 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4187

The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try

Please Scroll Down for Updated Version Come one, come all to the destruction of my query. Yoshima, Justine, Kirril, and you—yes, you too—fire when ready! Dear Agent X, When twenty-year-old Jodie Belay kidnaps a young girl, she believes she is saving the child’s life. So does the FBI agent watching ...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 28th, 2010, 12:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Of Shadows And Angels - Query about a query
Replies: 10
Views: 1893

Re: Of Shadows And Angels - Query about a query

Hi Hillsy, I haven’t read much SF, but this query was really hard to read. I had to slow way down and reread the passages to make sure I understood them. This does not bode well for agents. You don’t want to lose your unique voice, but this query desperately needs clarity. Since others like version ...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 28th, 2010, 10:19 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3500

Re: Kill my Query Mk-2

Hi Kirril, I like the first blurb; it is much stronger than the first one you posted. Of course, I have a few suggestions. Since the murder of his parents a year ago – cut , twenty-six-year-old Lucas Fowler has been avoiding death more than living life. But when a mind-controlling rogue wants ( forc...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 27th, 2010, 2:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Kill My Query Mk-IV
Replies: 19
Views: 3500

Re: Kill my Query

Hi Kirril, I’ll throw in my two cents. After an intruder murders his family, Lucas Fowler becomes obsessed ( How about "terrified of death" or "develops a psychotic phobia of death." ) with death. Germs, slippery steps, strangers, there are a million ways to die and he's determined to avoid them all...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 26th, 2010, 12:56 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Defender of the Crown v4
Replies: 11
Views: 1755

Re: Query: Defender of the Crown v4

Hi Giles, These long paragraphs are hard to digest. I would recommend a good infusion of white space. Let’s see what we can do: Dear [Agent], It takes something pretty serious to be kicked out of school. Creating a lightening storm that kills another student? That’ll do it. After this horrifying mis...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 26th, 2010, 11:40 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Final query: Waiting for April
Replies: 29
Views: 4452

Re: Revised query: Waiting for April

Hi Jaime, I’ll have a whack at it. Dear [Uber Agent] When twenty-one-year-old college student April Fletcher discovers she is living her fifteenth life, her life spins away from normal. The hook is the fifteenth life—whoa! The rest of this sentence should give some hint of how mind-boggling and diso...
by Ghost in the Machine
January 26th, 2010, 10:36 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fiction Query-2nd Try (Less fluff more stuff)
Replies: 11
Views: 2407

Re: Fiction Query-2nd Try (Less fluff more stuff)

Hi David, Your last commenter gave you the green light and maybe that latest version is the one . If you don’t find success, maybe my thoughts will come in handy. Enjoy! Brian’s Grandma said the pond was death. She was right. Deep beneath the murky waters of Blackwater Pond lies an age-old mystery. ...