Search found 89 matches

by Ghost in the Machine
February 22nd, 2010, 2:34 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Request for a Full MS - It came...the rejection.
Replies: 57
Views: 7602

Re: OMG!!! Request for a Full MS!!!!

Hi Justine,

That's awesome! All I want is a signed copy when it's published, 'kay?

Ghost in the Machine
by Ghost in the Machine
February 20th, 2010, 9:30 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis - The Butterfly Key
Replies: 4
Views: 1218

Re: Synopsis - The Butterfly Key

Hi Tycoon,

I worked on the synopsis and sent it back via a PM, twice. My outbox is reading 0, so I'm confused. Did you get it? If not I'll try again. What can I say? The Ghost is blond.
by Ghost in the Machine
February 20th, 2010, 3:47 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: TO STAND BEFORE A BROKEN MIRROR oh so very rough of a draft
Replies: 28
Views: 4769

Re: TO STAND BEFORE A BROKEN MIRROR oh so very rough of a draft

Hi Serzen, This is better, more concrete. It provides a taste of what the book might be like. It was one of those afternoons, one of those days where the weather outside--what other kind of weather is there, after all?--is suitable for nothing but indoor work, but the air inside is so stuffy that yo...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 18th, 2010, 10:17 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis - The Butterfly Key
Replies: 4
Views: 1218

Re: Synopsis - The Butterfly Key

Hi Tycoon,

Do you have enough cutlery left after our query-fest to hurl back at me? If so, count me in.

Ghost in the Machine
by Ghost in the Machine
February 18th, 2010, 10:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: TO STAND BEFORE A BROKEN MIRROR oh so very rough of a draft
Replies: 28
Views: 4769

Re: TO STAND BEFORE A BROKEN MIRROR oh so very rough of a draft

Hi Serzen, The river paragraphs are lovely. Beautiful, beautiful writing. Just two little comments. A river meanders through this part of the country, constantly carrying someone's past into someone else's future. Dunningston is the present, a clean start. Kerring is the past, a messy, confusing pla...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 16th, 2010, 10:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: TO STAND BEFORE A BROKEN MIRROR oh so very rough of a draft
Replies: 28
Views: 4769

Re: TO STAND BEFORE A BROKEN MIRROR oh so very rough of a draft

Hi Serzen, Let’s do this thang! Okay, the point of view is definitely the road less taken. You are a brave soul. But you don’t want the agent to read the first line, think you are crazy, and move on to the next query. While the trend in queries is to start with the mini-synopsis, you might want to s...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 16th, 2010, 1:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: Penumbra (1 Revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 2142

Re: QUERY: Penumbra (1 Revision)

Hi Ben, Whoa, dude! This is wicked! I’d be all over this like a bear finding a honey tree. The query is tight; it flows well. Dear Agent, Avicus Bost’s mother raised him to be a God-fearing Christian; his father raised him to be a killer. After years of following his father’s path, Avicus is burdene...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 16th, 2010, 12:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Urban Fantasy PULSE
Replies: 5
Views: 1204

Re: Urban Fantasy PULSE

Hi Kelly, Ahh-someone else writing about FBI agents, kidnappings, and young women. I feel comfy already. Prepare for commentary: Dear Agent, The mythical geroth fruit heals every pain and keeps Lara and her sisters eternally young. As an empath, Lara’s responsibility is to ensure that the girls chos...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 16th, 2010, 7:30 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: A page to ponder; literary fiction
Replies: 24
Views: 3893

Re: A page to ponder; literary fiction

Serzen, After reading your post on my comments, I feel like a chastised child. Not that I don’t deserve it. However, in my defense, you did invite us to “play with” your work. And that’s all I was trying to do—just play. If you give a toddler an object with no context or instruction, the results wil...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 12th, 2010, 10:18 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: A page to ponder; literary fiction
Replies: 24
Views: 3893

Re: A page to ponder; literary fiction

Serzen, Oh the despair! You captured the bleakness and hopelessness just fine. I would watch overdescribing things, sometimes the extra words are just repetitive and don’t flow. “People who come here, who are sent here” for example. I know some patients are voluntary and some not, is that what you w...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 12th, 2010, 9:29 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Dragon
Replies: 37
Views: 5511

Re: QUERY: THE LAST DRAGON

Hi Johydai, What, I leave for a few days and all the critiques have moved? That was weird. Okay on with the comments. When the all-powerful King Joseph of Embero informs Nadine, a headstrong seventeen-year-old girl, that she must marry the prince she loathes to satisfy the queen’s dying wish, she de...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 9th, 2010, 1:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try
Replies: 26
Views: 4187

Re: The Ghost Posts a Query - 4th try

Hi all, Thanks for your comments. I cleaned up the errors per your instructions. Serzen, you have a keen eye. I wanted "an FBI" but couldn't justify it - thanks for settling that internal argument. I smiled with all the suggestions for that devilish last sentence of paragraph 3. "With" was my first ...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 9th, 2010, 1:08 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Butterfly Key- revision now on page 6
Replies: 56
Views: 6862

Re: Query - The Butterfly Key- revision now on page 6

Hi Tycoon,

Just a few more tweaks . . . NOT! Stick a fork in me, I'm done. You are good to go.

Congrats - Ghost
by Ghost in the Machine
February 8th, 2010, 9:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Butterfly Key- revision now on page 6
Replies: 56
Views: 6862

Re: Query - The Butterfly Key- revision now on page 5

Hi Tycoon, Aww, you know there’s a fine love between love and hate. Now to work: I wrote: Suggestion: Christian doesn’t comprehend that Abigail will accept him no matter what albatross she’s forced to bear. You replied: I'm keeping the "what" or if I do it like you suggest I feel changing "doesn't" ...
by Ghost in the Machine
February 8th, 2010, 9:28 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: What love may do
Replies: 9
Views: 1741

Re: QUERY: What love may do

Hi Christopher, After a private word, I realize you are not naïve about the work ahead of you regarding word count. So on with the show! Dear [Agent Name], A small town in mid seventies Wisconsin finds itself the latest victim in an immortal creatures crusade of blood lust. However, a teenage charte...