Search found 40 matches

by lmjackson
December 29th, 2010, 10:34 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Start the story somewhere else...
Replies: 43
Views: 9581

Re: Start the story somewhere else...

Here is the setup of the first three chapters. The basic rule in this WIP, every chapter has the following setup: Storyteller, MC's life, Storyteller. Chapter 1: Storyteller is starting to tell the story to two children. Then the main storyline comes. MC, a little girl has a cryptic dream, awakens ...
by lmjackson
December 29th, 2010, 7:47 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: INVISIBLE: query second attempt
Replies: 6
Views: 1094

Re: INVISIBLE: query second attempt

Lola wants to be invisible. Her funky, tattoo-covered parents don’t understand why she’s not like them. They can’t fathom why Lola spends her time reading and writing with dreams of becoming an author. When she has to don a bathing suit in front of others, her wish comes true. She vanishes after ha...
by lmjackson
December 27th, 2010, 8:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Invisible
Replies: 5
Views: 788

Re: Query: Invisible

***note - the first three paragraphs are supposed to be indented as they are a direct quote from my novel. Dear [fill in the blank] “Lola, get your suit on and help supervise the pool. The more eyes the better,” Justine the pretty blonde, twenty-one-year-old camp director ordered once we were off t...
by lmjackson
December 27th, 2010, 8:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Forgotten Gods Query (Again)
Replies: 16
Views: 2203

Re: Forgotten Gods Query (Again)

It’s winter, 1745. Scotland is losing a the war for independence. The advancing British army has orders to leave no survivors. In desperation Desperate , Robert Maxwell and his fellow soldiers beg for supernatural aid from the daione sìdhe—magical inhabitants of Scotland exiled in ancient times to ...
by lmjackson
December 26th, 2010, 9:23 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: 1st person to 3rd person
Replies: 8
Views: 1238

Re: 1st person to 3rd person

In the (groan if you have to, but I think it's an example)Twilight Saga, the POV was Bella all throughout three books and then, right in the middle of the fourth, the POV changes for 1/3 of the book. Some readers thought that was really jarring. They wanted to get back in the main POV's (Bella's) h...
by lmjackson
December 23rd, 2010, 12:52 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Popularity
Replies: 18
Views: 1886

Re: Popularity

Beyond that, though, I don't really buy the "empty vessel" idea... Perhaps you'd explain some things to me, because I don't 'get' or like Bella. How would you describe her as a person independent of her relationship with Edward? Her likes, hates, goals, dreams, fears, hobbies, best friends? Just fo...
by lmjackson
December 22nd, 2010, 6:29 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Popularity
Replies: 18
Views: 1886

Re: Popularity

Bella flaws. Sneaking around behind her father's back. Pursuing a bad boy. Keeping important secrets from her father and her mother. Sneaking bad boy into her bedroom and dating him without informing her father or mother. The awkward new comer emerges as a socialite and the love interest of a socia...
by lmjackson
December 22nd, 2010, 5:58 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Why we love bad writing
Replies: 20
Views: 5409

Re: Why we love bad writing

For me reading is a relaxing experience, and its not every day that I want to curl up with the great american/english/whatever novel. I like romance novels, which if we're going to ding writing styles, I'm sure romance novels would be first in the line of fire. I don't even read Nora Roberts or (God...
by lmjackson
December 22nd, 2010, 5:45 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Popularity
Replies: 18
Views: 1886

Re: Popularity

I don't buy that every author should start creating empty shells through which every reader can imagine themselves and therefore be more in tune with the story. In fact, that seems like a cop out. Shouldn't a talented writer be able to draw readers in with a FULLY characterized protagonist? I don't...
by lmjackson
December 22nd, 2010, 3:16 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Popularity
Replies: 18
Views: 1886

Re: Popularity

Okay, point noted. BUT I don't buy that every author should start creating empty shells through which every reader can imagine themselves and therefore be more in tune with the story. In fact, that seems like a cop out. Shouldn't a talented writer be able to draw readers in with a FULLY characterize...
by lmjackson
December 21st, 2010, 10:13 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Starting over?
Replies: 8
Views: 970

Re: Starting over?

I think anyone who has the patience to do a complete rewrite (or even a partial rewrite, or a chapter rewrite) would end up with a product 1000x better than before. And if it feels better, it's not exactly like starting over again. You still have your characters (at least your main ones), your main ...
by lmjackson
December 21st, 2010, 10:00 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Tadarius Shipton
Replies: 2
Views: 1038

Re: Tadarius Shipton

Tadarius is certainly an odd and disgusting character, a risk but a good risk! From what you've posted here he still seems to be leaning more toward "distasteful" and less toward "pure evil". The interaction and resulting death of the young man helps, but I'm wondering if you could do more to instil...
by lmjackson
June 23rd, 2010, 6:12 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Rookie Mistakes?
Replies: 66
Views: 8734

Re: Rookie Mistakes?

1. do you believe "cliche" or as i like to refer to it "common phrasing" is ever acceptable? i vote yes. if not used as a crutch, sometimes using familiar terms is the most precise method to evoke the imagery you wish to relay. There's a time and a place for everything (pardon the cliched phrase). ...
by lmjackson
June 23rd, 2010, 5:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A life in Death - YA Fantasy *New Version, Page 4*
Replies: 41
Views: 5634

Re: A life in Death - YA Fantasy

Deathlings are dangerous and humans fear them more than death . This unstable paranoia widespread panic has the humans considering a civil war in an attempt assembling to rid the world of the soulless monsters. The funny thing is But ironically , Deathlings were all human once. The introduction pre...
by lmjackson
June 23rd, 2010, 5:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Jade´s Hurricane Query
Replies: 19
Views: 2937

Re: Jade´s Hurricane Query

Ok, got it! What do you think? Dear Mr. _________ In a world divided Amidst an ongoing conflict (just some other phrasing here needed, I agree with Emily J about the movie voiceover tone) between element - tamers and (there was an extra space here) humans, Jade Kadeem witness es the latter brutal m...