I think I would cut down on listing all the names of the characters, especially each time you mention them. For a short query, it comes off as a bit redundant...
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- March 27th, 2013, 5:27 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help
- Replies: 18
- Views: 12875
Thanks in advance for your help! Dear Mr. x, When Jessie, my wife, raced down the stairs while gasping for air, my heart sank like a heavy stone. "Scott, Ashley's missing, they don't know..." Ashley, our only daughter, is seventeen-years old and her worthless boyfriend just called 911 to report that...