Search found 93 matches

by Yoshima
January 4th, 2010, 4:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears
Replies: 13
Views: 3063

Re: Query critique -- Necklace of Tears

I think you're fine mentioning the other books (as long as, like Krista G said, the agent doesn't say not to in their guidelines). You don't come across as a snob or anything. :) As for the query, all of the names tripped me up a little, too. Also, the phrase "a love charm to win over his true love"...
by Yoshima
January 4th, 2010, 3:05 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE NINTH STEP-query try
Replies: 7
Views: 1656

Re: THE NINTH STEP-query try

Dear Awesome Agent, [Personalization] When infamous James Duke stepped into Dr. Laura Masters' fledgling office she was both excited and intimidated. Certainly, she needed the money and his celebrity added a challenge to his mental care, but if she failed miserably it could cost her her reputation ...
by Yoshima
January 3rd, 2010, 5:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Night Butterfly - latest query draft!
Replies: 19
Views: 3746

Re: Night Butterfly - third attempt - feedback welcomed!

I think your query is pretty darn fabulous as is, but I just wanted to comment on the last paragraph: "Anya escapes her captor with a disc containing incriminating evidence. Getting hold of that disc is André’s only chance of exposing the key players involved in London’s brutal underworld of sex sla...