Search found 97 matches

by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 11:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG: Pirate of Vallenta - REVISED AGAIN - FEEDBACK WELCOME
Replies: 13
Views: 3043

Re: MG: Pirate of Vallenta - REVISED AGAIN - FEEDBACK WELCOME

I like the new arrangement, flows nicely. Marked one bit in red that could probably be trimmed. "Fourteen-year-old pirate Lesath doesn't regret trying to steal the treasure from the castle; it’s getting caught that has her considering a career change – especially if Sir Reginald is serious about tha...
by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 2:37 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Here's my query for Tardy Son
Replies: 16
Views: 5368

Re: Here's another REWRITE of the query for Tardy Son

I marked a few spots in red that you might want to take out or change. Take it with a grain of salt! You've got a couple definite keepers in there too. "He calls himself Pid, short for the name, Stupid. It's the name Sicario*, his adoptive father uses for him. His real mother was Mexican, but Sicari...
by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 2:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG: Pirate of Vallenta - REVISED AGAIN - FEEDBACK WELCOME
Replies: 13
Views: 3043

Re: MG: Pirate of Vallenta - REVISED AGAIN - FEEDBACK WELCOME

You've got a fun voice going here. Here are some line by line comments. "Fourteen-year-old pirate Lesath doesn't regret trying to steal the treasure from the castle; it’s getting caught that has her considering a career change – preferably before her execution." Great! "Lesath convinces bumbling wiz...
by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 1:47 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Two-Paragraph Synopsis of a Science/Fantasy w/deconstruction
Replies: 7
Views: 7529

Re: Two-Paragraph Synopsis of a Science/Fantasy w/deconstruction

I really like the idea of a shifty, slacker magus. I'd suggest condensing and separating some of the middle sentences so that they are more self-contained, and each one describes an action that the protagonist(s) are taking. For instance: "While doing a job for a local crime boss, he finds a mysteri...
by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 1:30 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)
Replies: 3
Views: 4055

Re: Unibeltrasia: The Fallen Prince Novel Synopses. (UPDATED)

I marked things in red that could be taken out, and put things [in brackets] to maybe add. I'd also suggest making everything present tense so it sounds like you're narrating events as they are happening, rather then recounting them after the fact. Sounds like you've come up with a pretty intricate ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 1:16 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: How do you know if your writing is any good?
Replies: 24
Views: 4265

Re: How do you know if your writing is any good?

First off, been some great responses already. You asked a very broad question, but I'll give it a go... For me, it's critical to break down big, vague questions into small, specific questions. I can't really hope to come up with an objective answer to "am I any good as a writer?" However, I can usua...
by LurkingVirologist
July 10th, 2012, 12:26 am
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 618
Views: 197944

Re: The Introduction Thread

'Allo. As the 'nym suggests, I'm in the process of making a rather significant leap from one type of writing to another. Don't worry, I haven't quit my day job. In any case, I've been noodling around Nathan's website for awhile, and figured now's as good a time as any to jump in and start building u...