Search found 97 matches

by LurkingVirologist
July 24th, 2012, 11:07 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The Coffee Shop - JULY
Replies: 110
Views: 18078

Re: The Coffee Shop - JULY

Firstly - I'm an analyst by day and have always been enamoured by the quirks of numbers. I remember finding out that it's actually more likely (in fact bordering on and inevitability) for someone to win the lottery twice than for no one to win more than once. Or that it only takes 11 people for it ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 23rd, 2012, 10:07 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The Coffee Shop - JULY
Replies: 110
Views: 18078

Re: The Coffee Shop - JULY

Thanks Mark, Sommer, Hillsy, Margo, and Liz ;) . I always value intelligent input covering multiple perspectives, especially in areas where I'm rather new. As for the WiP, I'd written the first draft purely for myself, then came upon the idea of trying to get it published once I was into the editing...
by LurkingVirologist
July 23rd, 2012, 4:20 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: The Coffee Shop - JULY
Replies: 110
Views: 18078

Re: The Coffee Shop - JULY

-25,000 words! Woot! Seriously. I started July with a WiP draft that was a bit over 180K, and managed to slim it down to just under 155K. Chucked a few characters and a whole subplot that was oh so much fun to write, but just didn't have to be there. My goal was 160, so I'm thrilled with coming in u...
by LurkingVirologist
July 22nd, 2012, 11:47 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: Please flag posts with suspicious signatures
Replies: 13
Views: 6045

Re: Please flag posts with suspicious signatures

Nathan, I don't know how much time you and the mods have to referee things, but one of my favorite blogs instituted a policy where a person's first comment automatically went into moderation, and once the blogger approved it, that person could post freely. It was a science/skepticism blog so the mai...
by LurkingVirologist
July 22nd, 2012, 11:40 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Traju's Dagger (Epic Fantasy)
Replies: 19
Views: 4666

Re: Query: Traju's Dagger (Epic Fantasy)

Neeku never thought he would live to see twenty-three. Though his splotchy, cuttlefish skin makes stealing easy, his mushroom city is brimming with bounty hunters, all looking for color-changing Sneaks like him. Waking up one day, he finds his twin missing. Bounty hunters. Panicking, he hurries to ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 22nd, 2012, 4:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Traju's Dagger (Epic Fantasy)
Replies: 19
Views: 4666

Re: Query: Traju's Dagger (Epic Fantasy)

178 words: Neeku never thought he would live to see twenty-three. Though his splotchy, cuttlefish skin makes stealing easy, his mushroom city is brimming with bounty hunters, all looking for color-changing Sneaks like him. Waking up one day, he finds his twin is missing. Bounty hunters. Panicking, ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 21st, 2012, 7:21 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Fantasmagorical Forest - opening chapter
Replies: 2
Views: 2650

Re: The Fantasmagorical Forest - opening chapter

Good start. If I might make a couple suggestions: 1) consider omitting the lines about their father having died suddenly. The dialogue bit about him being gone sets the reader up with two possible conclusions (he's left or he's dead), both of which have similar emotional implications for the scene, ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 21st, 2012, 7:07 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sacrificial Kingdom - Epic Fantasy
Replies: 4
Views: 4443

Re: Sacrificial Kingdom - Epic Fantasy

Not over-written at all. I like it. You capture the mood well. As already mentioned, I think you can omit some of the specific references to Melu being a dragon at the very beginning. Just give the physical descriptions (which I liked a lot) and trust that the reader will figure it out. I personally...
by LurkingVirologist
July 21st, 2012, 6:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Queries make this aussie girl feel stupid.
Replies: 18
Views: 5678

Re: Queries make this aussie girl feel stupid.

I think this is a big step in the right direction! If I might suggest giving yourself a few days off, then re-write the 'same' query from scratch without looking at the old one. Put the two version together, and see what you've got. Don't be discouraged, it sounds like you're getting the hang of this.
by LurkingVirologist
July 21st, 2012, 6:40 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: At the can't-look-at-my-book phase
Replies: 9
Views: 1565

Re: At the can't-look-at-my-book phase

I second Brenda. Take a break. Especially between edits. I've probably taken two big breaks while working on my WiP (at least a month) and both times when I got back into it I was a lot more productive and a lot more flexible with my editing because there wasn't a bunch of inertia behind my decision...
by LurkingVirologist
July 20th, 2012, 2:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query from an Aussie, YA, Title: The Woodlands
Replies: 8
Views: 1594

Re: Query from an Aussie, YA, Title: The Woodlands

I think you've got a nice backbone for your story, sounds like a ton of potential for great conflicts: internal, inter-personal, and external adventure stuff. Kudos. My impression from what you've put out there is that the heart of the story is Rosa being used as a human incubator, only to find out ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 20th, 2012, 1:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query snarl: SHADOWPLAY (REVISED) - New Version @ Post 8
Replies: 8
Views: 3064

Query snarl: SHADOWPLAY (REVISED) - New Version @ Post 8

So I'm almost done editing my WiP, and a bit stuck on my query. Before I contaminate the jury pool, as it were, by explaining what I think my problems are, I was hoping to get a first impression on what I've got so far. Also, pre-mastication has been advised before tossing my baby into the chum buc...
by LurkingVirologist
July 18th, 2012, 11:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: THE IRON-JAWED BOY AND THE CRY OF THE BANSHEE
Replies: 24
Views: 7252

Re: Query: THE IRON-JAWED BOY AND THE CRY OF THE BANSHEE

Reworked a few things. I think I got the macaroons joke back? No? Yes? The jaw part is going to be incredibly complicated to explain; I'll either have to base the entire query off it, or leave it out completely and let the agent wonder, which could be good or bad. Not sure about the ending--will de...
by LurkingVirologist
July 18th, 2012, 11:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 5088

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Blue for [comment] and red for things to consider removing. "Seven years ago, officer Gina Russo fired a shot in self-defense, causing an [the] explosion , which [that] killed career criminal William Nicholas Mancuso. That's what Gina was led to believe from the charred remains. Now an FBI agent, Gi...
by LurkingVirologist
July 18th, 2012, 11:22 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: My thorny plot mess .....HELP!
Replies: 9
Views: 1368

Re: My thorny plot mess .....HELP!

Maybe a peripheral issue - but why blow up the house? If it's a terrorist cell, then presumably they are adept at keeping under the radar. Setting off a bomb is going to draw attention from all sorts of folks, most of whom have the potential to make the terrorists' lives more difficult. What's the p...