Search found 97 matches

by LurkingVirologist
August 11th, 2012, 9:00 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 400 Words of OF ICE AND ASHES, YA Light Fantasy
Replies: 4
Views: 4055

Re: First 400 Words of OF ICE AND ASHES, YA Light Fantasy

Red means I'd consider cutting , while blue is linked to [a comment] "Three layers of hand-knit sweaters and my gloves protected my skin. I tweaked the silk over my wrists, ensuring that no portion of my flesh was exposed. [tense/cadence feels odd. Since you are talking about clothing, focus on tou...
by LurkingVirologist
August 11th, 2012, 8:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Historical Fiction Novel--Trooper
Replies: 8
Views: 1708

Re: YA Historical Fiction Novel--Trooper

"Dear …: OK, red is stuff I'd consider cutting , and blue is linked to [a comment] . “It’s that person’s mission,” he told me. “When someone dies, I believe that [it] means whatever they were put on earth to do is fulfilled—whether it’s to touch people’s lives, inspire a soul, or make a mark—when th...
by LurkingVirologist
August 11th, 2012, 8:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4872

Re: Need Help With Query

Red is something I'd consider deleting , and blue text is linked to [a comment] "Thirty-year-old Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was [were] definitely evil. The black and white her parents taught her to see blur to gray ...
by LurkingVirologist
August 5th, 2012, 5:23 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: including other credentials in a query?
Replies: 1
Views: 7674

including other credentials in a query?

I'm looking for some advice on including academic credentials in a query letter. I'm querying an adult urban fantasy novel, and I don't have any fiction publications so I figured on just leaving that part out. I subsequently read a "why this query got picked" for a fiction piece and the agent mentio...
by LurkingVirologist
August 4th, 2012, 7:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised-YA Fantasy THE LEGEND OF TAIRN GIRE
Replies: 10
Views: 3459

Re: Query: THE LEGEND OF TAIRN GIRE: A PROPHESY REVISITED

I've highlighted a few things in blue [and commented on them]. Red means I'd consider cutting. " 100 years of peace between Ordinals (ordinary mortals) and Otherkin races ends on day 101… [A century of peace between Ordinals (ordinary mortals) and Otherkin is at an end.] [Since the death of his moth...
by LurkingVirologist
August 4th, 2012, 7:02 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: When do you seek outside opinion?
Replies: 11
Views: 1585

Re: When do you seek outside opinion?

I've got better now but I still overwrite then chisel back later. I do the same on first drafts. I like having the extra raw material around for that first edit, knowing that I'll toss a lot of it, but probably find a few gems in there I might not have put down if I was going for a 'clean' first dr...
by LurkingVirologist
August 3rd, 2012, 2:02 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Writing From Loneliness
Replies: 17
Views: 6181

Re: Writing From Loneliness

I'd say I'm more introspective than introverted, though I can very much identify with being young and feeling disconnected from the people around me (that's a whole other story). I have a good sized group of close friends that I get along with really well, but I do need more alone time than most peo...
by LurkingVirologist
July 31st, 2012, 12:00 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: When writing isn't your full-time job.
Replies: 16
Views: 3069

Re: When writing isn't your full-time job.

Oi, yeah it can be tricky. I've got a 9-6ish job with an LA commute (OK, so usually ~40 minutes each way). I definitely find myself having to prioritize. I haven't had cable TV in years, which has been a huge benefit for me. If I can keep my netflixs habit under control, and not overdo it on either ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 28th, 2012, 9:54 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG Query: Under Sentinel Guard
Replies: 11
Views: 3365

Re: MG Query: Under Sentinel Guard

"Ordinary thirteen-year-old Eric Ortega wakes up surrounded by hospital equipment and covered with a flowered quilt. Before he can figure out what’s going on, a centaur clip-clops in and introduces himself as Eric’s healer. Next, his sister is telling him that he’s been sick, and she married a guy w...
by LurkingVirologist
July 28th, 2012, 9:33 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: OF ICE AND ASHES, YA light sci-fi
Replies: 4
Views: 2141

Re: Query: OF ICE AND ASHES, YA light sci-fi

Interesting stuff. Blue highlights are linked to [comments] and red indicates parts to consider dropping . "Sixteen-year-old Wren is Tainted. Spider-web black scars [Black spider-web scars - as currently written, it sounds like spider-web is a shade of black]mar the other Tainted banished from [of] ...
by LurkingVirologist
July 28th, 2012, 4:07 am
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: Dying dogs, democracy, spambots and the theory of everything
Replies: 1
Views: 1503

Re: Dying dogs, democracy, spambots and the theory of everything

Nice post Hillsy. One minor quibble: evolution does not prize efficiency. It's all about relative fitness. The 'Red Queen' hypothesis. In fact, many successful organisms have gross inefficiencies that confer big relative advantages. Peacock feathers are a good example. Talk about wasting gobs of met...
by LurkingVirologist
July 27th, 2012, 3:30 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: The Coffee Shop - JULY
Replies: 110
Views: 18078

Re: The Coffee Shop - JULY

Sommer Leigh wrote: Infectious disease*

*I wish Claudie were going with me. They've brought in a professor from...I want to say the University of Michigan but I'll correct myself when I find out for sure...who specializes in viruses. WOOT.
:twisted:
by LurkingVirologist
July 26th, 2012, 1:14 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query snarl: SHADOWPLAY (REVISED) - New Version @ Post 8
Replies: 8
Views: 3064

Re: Query snarl: SHADOWPLAY

Hagen, Shipple, Chounzet, Elbow - thanks for the feedback. Seems like ya'll hit most of the bits I was struggling with, so I guess that's a good sign ;) . Now lets see if I can clarify what I was aiming for (in no particular order)... Lily being dead - Lily's a vampire, but I don't use the word anyw...
by LurkingVirologist
July 24th, 2012, 11:48 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Moments of Writing Genius
Replies: 7
Views: 1540

Re: Moments of Writing Genius

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel." William Gibson, Neuromancer . Still my favorite opening line of all time. It encapsulated everything about the world and characters he created. I'm still reminded of it every time it gets cloudy. "It's too bad she won't l...
by LurkingVirologist
July 24th, 2012, 11:22 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Character Flaw
Replies: 8
Views: 2026

Re: Character Flaw

I feel like this has split into several overlapping but distinct topics. Could you clarify if you are talking about gluttony, weight/obesity, or both? Additionally, what do you mean by 'silly?' Is the character comedic, or is her demeanor silly but she has serious stuff going on under the surface? I...