Search found 45 matches

by charity_bradford
February 22nd, 2010, 10:47 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: BELLE (YA-FANTASY)
Replies: 16
Views: 2849

Re: QUERY: BELLE (YA-FANTASY)

First, I love your story idea and what follows is just tiny nit picks, and probably personal opinion. I would read this book. The advise on this forum are great. I'd like to thank you in advance for your help. If you need me to return the favor, please just ask, and I'll be happy to help you. ______...
by charity_bradford
February 4th, 2010, 1:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Time Tourism again, just when you thought it was over
Replies: 57
Views: 7907

Re: Query Time Tourism Edited Again (please don't hate me)

Ok, I tried to piece together where your query is at now to look at it. :) Looks like you have some great advice already, but here's my 2cents. Dear Great and Noble Agent of Oz, I actually wish you could leave this, I think the agent would get a kick out of it. Or at least some of them would. Too ba...
by charity_bradford
February 4th, 2010, 1:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2

I'd appreciate it if you can look over my Time Tourism query and tell me where there's room for improvement, if you have time. :-) I'm heading that way now. Getting better! Keep at it. You'll have a smokin' query before this is all said and done. And that blank up there will read "super cool agent ...
by charity_bradford
February 2nd, 2010, 10:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2

Woot! I'll take that it is an improvement over the first draft. I think my brain is fried too, but there are some great recommendations here.

Thanks, and I'll keep plugging away. Anyone with queries up right now let me know, I want to return the favor for whatever it may be worth. :)
by charity_bradford
February 2nd, 2010, 2:04 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek

Thank you everyone for all of your comments. I have struggled to revise this, but here is my attempt--just no time or peace and quiet. Is this heading in the right direction? REVISION 3 Dear Mr. _________, Although the planet Sendek has chosen to embrace the path of science and technology, the magic...
by charity_bradford
January 19th, 2010, 10:40 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Two queries for Epertase- Which to use?
Replies: 13
Views: 2539

Re: Two queries for Epertase- Which to use?

I like certain aspects of both queries, but I combined the parts I liked the best--comments marked in blue, your words rearranged in red. The story sounds fascinating, and I'm sorry you didn't get any feedback on the query. Here's to hoping for better luck next time! Dear; Rasi, once the greatest wa...
by charity_bradford
January 19th, 2010, 7:49 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek

Hmm, I thought I was looking at the revised version. But things get messed up because I have to zoom the font up big and then things scroll too far...you have no idea, you who can read 8-pixel high letters. Oh well. I think I made the same mistake. I'll try to look at the revised one more when I ha...
by charity_bradford
January 18th, 2010, 5:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek

On the whole, I like the concept (definitely sounds like something I'd like to read), but I want to know more about what happens in the story itself, not all the past history of Sendak and our MCs. Good luck with this. Thanks Krista, I got a similar remark on the Nano pages and as I reread the quer...
by charity_bradford
January 18th, 2010, 10:12 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek

Thanks Matera_the_Mad, would you mind taking a look at the revised version? I think I fixed a lot of the things you noticed.

Thanks!
by charity_bradford
January 17th, 2010, 6:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: My Query For Critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1530

Re: My Query For Critique

David Stricklen wrote:My second book in the series is twice as long as the first. Should I mention this because the first book is a little on the short side?
I don't think so, but I'm also very, VERY new at this whole thing.
by charity_bradford
January 17th, 2010, 6:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek

Revised Query First, thank you Ink for the info! Second, thank you all for the help so far. I tried to stay away from recounting scenes, which is what I want to do. :) I also tried to give more information about their magical qualities. Ok, so here is the revised version. Dear Mr. _________, The pl...
by charity_bradford
January 17th, 2010, 1:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Re: Query--Sendek

Thanks! I'm working on revisions now. I'm finding it hard to tell what their powers are because they fight so hard to keep them a secret for the first half of my book. :) I don't even let the reader learn of all Talia's magical talents until she reveals them to the Commander. However, I know I have ...
by charity_bradford
January 16th, 2010, 8:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2
Replies: 25
Views: 8836

Query--Sendek--3rd revision page 2

UPDATE: Please scroll down to the bottom of page 2 for REVISION 3. Thank you! Alright, here is my first draft of my query for my WIP Sendek . I think it is too long. What do you think? Any and all suggestions are appreciated. Thanks! Dear Mr. _________, In a world that has chosen science over magic...
by charity_bradford
January 15th, 2010, 5:31 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: A 2-page synopsis? OK ... define "a page."
Replies: 4
Views: 1121

Re: A 2-page synopsis? OK ... define "a page."

Formatting and Submitting your Manuscript by Chuck Sambuchino says this There are no hard and fast rules about the synopsis. In fact, there's conflicting advice about the typical length of a synopsis. Most editors and agents agree, though: the shorter, the better. and Formatting Specs Use a 1" margi...
by charity_bradford
January 15th, 2010, 5:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: My Query For Critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1530

Re: My Query For Critique

Dear Ms. Hard Toplease I wrote a novel that I hope is right for you. My story fits into the category of one of your favorite genres, magical realism, and it contains many of the elements that you enjoy. The story is a 40,725 word YA fantasy adventure entitled Beyond Blackwater Pond, that takes plac...